WWE Silly Style
by wrestlefan4
Summary: Random silliness from all sort of your superstars and divas! The goal: just to have fun and make a few people laugh. There is some crude humor...ye be warned.
1. Chapter 1

_Time for some radomness, whackiness, and fun. :)_

WWE Silly Style

Sleep-over

Mr. McMahon clapped his hands together. He was so excited! This was his best idea yet. He was having a sleep over! He looked at the faces around the room: The Undertaker, Edge, MVP, Cena, Triple H, Carlito, Beth Phoenix, Shawn Michaels and Santino Marella, and Hulk Hogan were all there. No one was quite sure why the Hulkster had shown up, after all he wasn't invited.

"What should we do first?" McMahon asked excitedly. He had never had a slumber party before not even as a little kid because no one had liked him. But now that he was all grown up things had changed so much…wait…well…not exactly…

"What should we do?" He asked the superstars.

"Well…we could…" Shawn Michael's tried to think.

"Paint our fingernails!" Cena shouted excitedly and pulled out a bottle of nail polish from his pocket. The other superstars turned to look at him.

"Me first!" MVP shrieked.

"No, me first!" Triple H pushed him out of the way and then they both started to squabble. Meanwhile Cena turned to Hulkster and started to paint his fingernails hot pink.

Some of the wrestlers lined up to get their nails painted by John Cena. Meanwhile Beth Phoenix and Santino Marella snuck away to a closet. They sat in the dark holding hands.

"Are you going to kiss me?"

"Where's-a your lips?"

"Below my nose!" Beth giggled. "Silly."

"Mmmm…your-a lips-a taste like moldy feet!"

"You're kissing a shoe!"

Shawn Michael's looked down and regarded his neon pink nails proudly.

"I'm just a sexy boy, I'm not your boy toy!" He sang while he admired Cena's artwork.

"Carlito thinks they're sooo pink and sooo pretty!" Carlito studied Shawn's fingernails and then took his hand and sniffed the tips of his fingers.

"What are you doing?"

Shawn tried to pull his hand away but Carlito licked his fingers.

"Gross!"

"Doesn't taste like apples, not cool. I spit in the face of people who don't wanna be cool!" Carlito dug around in his pants. "Here we go—no—that's not Carlito's apple…here it is!" Carlito pulled a piece of fruit from his pants but it wasn't an apple. He looked down at the watermelon in his hands. Shawn gazed at him with a look of amazement.

"How did you…in your…what?"

Carlito shrugged and took a big bite of the melon and then spit it at Shawn.

Vince McMahon decided it was time to really juice up his party.

"I have pizza rolls!" He brought them in and the hungry superstars crowded around.

"I hate pizza!" Cena pouted.

"Does it have cheese?" Triple H asked.

"Of course, it's pizza!" Vince said taking a pizza roll and stuffing it in his mouth.

"Cheese smells like feet and I'm allergic to feet." Triple H announced.

"Dude…you have feet…" Hulkster pointed down at Triple H's feet. Triple H looked down and his mouth fell into a surprised O.

"Oh my God, I'm breaking out! It itches! I can't breathe!" Triple H started to scratch at his skin and gasp for air.

"Who in the hell is allergic to feet?" Vince asked raising an eyebrow.

"Mm…pizza roll…Carlito likes pizza roll." Carlito grabbed a few pizza rolls and shoved them down his pants.

"I'm just a sexy boy!" Shawn sang and danced around with the plate of pizza rolls.

The Undertaker sat in a corner watching everyone else intently. They were acting really weird. He had his hands stuffed in the pockets of his coat but he removed one slowly and peered down at it and wrinkled his nose. Cena had painted the fingernails of his right hand pink. The Undertaker scowled at his defiled hand and stuck it back into his pocket. He looked up to see Carlito standing over him. Carlito reached his hand deep into his pants.

"No, that's no pizza roll…ah." Carlito pulled out a pizza roll and stuck it in The Undertaker's face. "Pizza roll?"

Undertaker just grimaced at Carlito as his reply.

"Not cool. I spit in the face of those who don't want to be cool!"

Undertaker got to his feet slowly. He loomed over Carlito and rolled his eyes back and drew his thumb (of his left hand which was not contaminated with pink nail polish) across his throat in a slashing method.

"But for you, Carlito makes an exception!" Carlito stuffed the pizza roll into his mouth and turned to the nearest person and spit on them.

Edge (who had been spit on) glared at Carlito and said with a snarl:

"I hate pepperoni!"

Beth and Santino were still hiding out in the closet. Santino was curled up whimpering. Beth reached for him but ended up hugging a raincoat.

"Where are you, don't cry 'Tino…" Beth reached for him again but this time her arms wrapped around a blow up doll. "Why would Vince keep a blow-up of Cena in his closet?"

She was greeted with a sob from Santino. Beth tossed the blow-up Cena aside.

"Santino what's wrong?"

"I'm afraid of the dark, and-a it's really a-dark in here!"

"Oh, well that's okay. I have electric boobs."

Santino hushed and sniffled. Suddenly there were two glowing orbs before his eyes.

"Oooh…let there-a be light!"

The un-closeted people were wandering around Vince's living room. Vince was so excited about this slumber party. Everyone seemed to be having a lot of fun except for The Undertaker who was sitting in a dark corner all by himself. Vince walked over to the Deadman.

"Join in the fun!"

The Undertaker looked up at Vince.

"This is stupid."

"It is not, it's my party and it's not!" Vince stomped his foot and started to cry.

"You make Vince cry! Not cool!" Carlito pulled a severed hand from his pants. "I spit in the face of those who are not cool!"

"What the hell?" Vince paled at the severed hand that Carlito was bringing to meet his lips. Carlito bit a chunk from the hand and then turned to The Undertaker, but thought better of it, so he turned to Vince, thought better again, and then turned to Triple H and spat flesh at him. Triple H looked really funny he was all covered in lotion to stop him from itching (since he was allergic to feet and just happened to have two of them).

"What did you just spit on me you ass hole!"

Carlito looked at him innocently.

"I don't know, I found it in my pants, tastes like underwear…"

"Well the only thing that tastes like underwear…" Triple H stopped for a moment thinking. "The only thing that tastes like underwear…"

"I want to taste underwear!" Edge said sticking his nose into the conversation. The others turned to him with strange looks and he turned bright red. "What, I mean, GIRL underwear of course, duh!"

The guys let out some pent up sighs and nodded agreeing with Edge that there is nothing wrong with girl underwear of course.

"I have on girl underwear right now!" Vince blurted out, and then promptly left the group.

Later Chris Jericho came up with the idea to play hide and seek. Everyone scattered to leave Hulk Hogan to search for them. Jericho and Edge walked down Vince's hallways skipping and holding hands.

"I never thought we'd get away from them!" Jericho said.

"I can't wait to touch them, they're so round!" Edge squealed excitedly.

"I know, I keep them perfect, just incase I ever want to take them out and play with them."

"Wow, you mean you can play with them by yourself?" Edge asked in disbelief.

"Duh, you didn't know that? I mean it is a lot more fun with two people though."

Jericho and Edge continued skipping down the hallway and then stopped at a closet. They pulled the door opened and Beth Phoenix gasped. Santino touched her boob and then got zapped with a small electrical current.

"You idiots!" Beth grabbed the door and slammed it angrily.

"What was that?" Edge turned to Jericho.

"Alien spaceships!" Jericho hissed and dragged a confused Edge down the hallway.

Hulk went around Vince's house searching for hidden superstars. He first found Carlito hiding behind some curtains. Carlito reached into his pants to pull something out but Hogan ran away before he could be spit at.

It didn't take him long to find The Undertaker. He hadn't moved from his corner and just sat there plain and out in the open. Hulk went on to find everyone else, even Beth and Santino who had disappeared earlier without much notice from everyone else. Beth again slammed the door angrily and Hogan wondered why she had boobs that could shoot lightening. He wondered to himself if he could shoot lightening with any body parts.

"Wait a minute…where's Jericho and Edge?" Vince asked looking around at his superstars. He either didn't notice or didn't care that Beth and Santino were still missing. Just as he said this Edge and Jericho appeared. Jericho's hair was messed up and Edge's shirt was torn. The rest of the wrestlers regarded them with odd expressions.

"What?" asked Edge.

"What were you two doing?" Shawn Michael's asked.

"We were in the closet." Jericho said as though it were not the least bit odd.

"Doing what?" Vince barked.

"Hey, if they were in the closet, and now they're not, then that means they came out of the closet!" Triple H clapped his hands together happily laughing.

"No we didn't! I mean did, come out, but we're not gay!" Jericho grumbled. He looked over at Edge who was a deep shade of crimson. Jericho corrected himself. "I'm not gay."

"You never answered, what were you doing?"

"Chris has these cool little balls!" Edge hopped up and down full of excitement.

"We got into a fight over our game…because Edge said it was too hard." Chris looked around at the awkward looks on all the faces. "What, we played marbles." Chris held up a bag of shiny little glass balls.

"I love marbles!" Cena shouted. "Let's play!"

The Undertaker sat in his corner watching everyone play marbles. He really wanted to play but he was scared that people would discover his secret. He adjusted his hat to make sure his secret was safe and hidden away beneath it.

"It's really late…" Triple H looked at his Mickey-Mouse watch. "It's like nine-thirty! It's waaay past my bed time!" He stretched and yawned.

"You're such a baby…I'm staying up until ten!" Cena puffed up proudly at his declaration.

"Not me, I'm worn out from hide and seek." Hogan said as he grabbed a pillow from McMahon's couch and curled up with it.

It seemed everyone was sleepy (except Cena who insisted he was staying up until ten) so Vince got out sleeping bags. When he opened the hall closet Glamarella fell out. Everyone sat silently watching Beth Phoenix's boobs blink different colors.

"Pretty lights…" Carlito cooed.

"Awesome, it's like that game Simon!" Cena bounded across the room to Beth who was trying to find her shirt. "I want to play!" Cena poked Beth's electric boobs and got zapped. "Damn, I'm so turned on!"

Beth snarled at him and pulled her shirt on.

"Hey-a you, you-a touch my girl!"

"Well you don't have no cool electrical body parts, so why would I touch you!" Cena shoved Santino who slumped defeated.

"Chris's marbles glow in the dark!" Edge announced. Everyone looked at him oddly. "No, I mean his marbles!" Edge clarified holding up the bag of marbles they had all played with earlier.

"Stop talking about my marbles!" Jericho chastised. Suddenly MVP came stomping into the room angrily. He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Hide and seek huh? Well I'm leaving!"

"What wrong?" Vince put a hand on MVP's shoulder.

"It's just like when I was a kid, nobody found me!" MVP ran out of the room in tears.

Everyone snuggled in to their sleeping bags ready to go to dreamland. The Undertaker looked around the room, and once he was sure everyone was asleep he took off his hat. Under the hat was a dolly with a little purple dress and blonde curls. He held it to his chest and sighed happily comforted by its presence.

_Hope I got a few laughs out of this! I had fun writing it. :) Please review fwiends!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks for reviews, glad some of you enjoyed it!_

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 2: Big Hairy Nuts, Mine's Bigger, Taker's Dolly, Teddy Scores

"Guess what guys?" Edge hopped up and down excitedly. Taker rolled his eyes and Kane stuck his head in his locker and moved the door back and forth pretending he was slamming the door against his skull.

"Dare I ask what?" HHH said as he pulled his sledge hammer from his locker and looked at it lovingly.

"Chavo has big hairy nuts!"

The whole locker room exploded in choruses of "Ew! Gross! Sick!" And gagging sounds. Finlay regarded the young Canadian with a look of disgust.

"Lad, you need some help!"

He smacked Edge over the head with his inflatable green hammer.

"What? Why do you guys always have to think bad!" Edge stomped his foot and whined like a child.

"Well you come in here talkin' about some big hairy nuts, what do you expect?" Shawn Michaels asked pushing his straw cowboy hat atop his head.

"You guys are really stupid, that's not what I meant!"

The chaos of the locker room was suddenly interrupted with singing. A male voice sang happily.

"Oh, I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts! Deedle-dee! Sitting in a pretty little row, big ones small ones some as big as your head! Oh I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts!

Just after the little ditty, Chavo walked into the locker room and started the song over.

"Oh I've got a lovely bunch of coco—hi guys!"

He stopped and dropped a bag to the floor. He opened it and took out a coconut and held it up proudly.

"Look what I've got!"

"See!" Edge pointed. "Big hairy nuts!"

The whole locker room groaned collectively and wished Edge would jump off a bridge.

The last ones left in the locker room was The Undertaker and JBL. Taker slipped in to his long black over coat and JBL sat his hat on his head. He leaned over Taker's shoulders and gave him a smirk.

"I know." JBL whispered sinisterly. Undertaker gave him a sideways glare.

"What are you talking about J…B…L!" Taker stood nose to nose with the man.

"You're little friend!" JBL snickered. "Your cutie-wootie dolly-wolly!" JBL grabbed Taker's pale cheek and pinched it.

"Don't touch me, I'll tombstone you Bradshaw!"

JBL hurried out of the room as Taker rolled his eyes white and grimaced.

Later, at the hotel the superstars were staying at, Taker searched frantically for his doll. He had hid it in a special place in his hotel room but now it was nowhere. He stomped across the hall and nearly banged down Kane's door, figuring his 'brother' had hijacked the doll.

"I don't have your damn dolly!" Kane yelled as Taker pushed passed him and went through his suitcase and flung clothes everywhere. Taker stopped suddenly and laughed. He turned to Kane holding a lacey red lingerie. "What's this? Big Red Sexy?"

"It's not mine, it's a girls!" Kane growled snatching the lacey thing away.

"You don't have to be ashamed. I know some guys who would love to see you in it." Taker teased.

"It's not mine!" Kane hollered again and shook his fist at Taker.

"Damn!" Taker pulled a whip from Kane's suitcase.

"Leave my stuff alone will ya!" He grabbed his suitcase and stuffed things back in to it. "Get out, before I make a weenie roast out of you!"

Taker left Kane to his own odd devices and opened the door to another room. He found Jeff Hardy, MVP, Mr. Kennedy, and Shawn Michael's sniffing markers.

"I was gonna win the champion belt, but then I got hiiiigh!" MVP sang off tune.

"Was gonna kick Jericho's tooshie, but then I got hiiiiigh!" Michael's wailed.

"Smell this one, it's aaaawesome…" Mr. Kennedy handed a blue marker to Hardy who took in the scent happily, his green eyes glistened. Shawn Michael's had two markers stuffed up each nostril and he was inhaling deeply. He let out a loud sigh and then passed out with the markers still stuck up his nose.

"Um…" Taker looked around the room. Hardy pulled a red marker from Michael's nose and started to draw on Mr. Kennedy's stomach.

"It tickles!" Kennedy shrieked.

"Never mind!" Taker slammed the door closed and found all the marker fumes had made him dizzy. He stumbled over to another door and opened it. He heard two male voices coming from the bathroom and recognized them as John Cena and Dave Batista.

"Mine's bigger!" Batista shouted.

"No, mine is! You're a big doody!" John yelled back. Taker quickly shut that door too not wanting to know anymore.

Taker was going to give up. He was feeling really sad and alone without his dolly but he was afraid to open anymore doors. He finally stopped at the end of the hallway. He had a sense this would be different. He opened the door and found Vince McMahon combing the pretty curls of his doll. Taker wished he had real powers, because he would send McMahon to the seventh layer of hell for touching his dolly.

Batista and Cena walked down the hallway arguing.

"Mine is bigger!" John bellowed.

"Hell if it is!" Batista shoved him.

"It is waaaay bigger than your itsy bitsy teeny-weenie one!"

"Fine, why don't we ask someone who really knows about these things!" John suggested. Batista shrugged. The two went to find Hunter.

Teddy Long was enjoying himself at the hotel hot tub. Sometimes the superstars and divas really threw him off, they could be so crazy and random and downright odd. Fortunately none of them were down here. He was all by himself enjoying the hot bubbles. He let out a pleased sigh and closed his eyes. After a few moments, a voice disturbed him from his relaxation.

"Hi, mind if I join?"

When Teddy opened his eyes he thought he had died and gone to heaven. Standing before him was a beautiful Latino woman. He looked up her long, bronzed, legs and when he took in her barely-there bikini his mouth watered. His eyes roamed over her flat stomach and cute little belly ring, over her sumptuous, scrumptious looking round breasts, up her long neck, and to her pouty red lips, perfect button nose, and huge, heated, brown eyes. Her soft black hair fell over her shoulders in waves like flowing water. She must be a figment of my imagination! Teddy thought.

"Sure baby, always room for a beautiful woman."

She climbed in and pushed Teddy's legs apart and situated herself between them and pressed her body to his.

"My God woman…" Teddy lost his hands in her soft hair. He pressed his lips to hers and kissed her deeply. He slipped his tongue between her teeth and teased her tongue with his. She pushed away from him breaking the kiss and her dark brown eyes glimmered with fire. Teddy had to take a moment before speaking. "Why don't me and you go upstairs?"

She nodded and followed Teddy to his room.

"Hunt, me and the Dr. of Thugonomics here have a question for you to settle!"

Triple H looked from Cena to Batista waiting. At the same time both men asked:

"Who's is bigger?"

Triple H stood with his mouth ajar. What kind of man did they take him for?

"Now, guys…"

"Come on, Batista keeps saying his nose is bigger than mine, but I know the truth!"

Batista scowled at Cena.

"Mine is bigger, however, Hunt knows all about big noses, so let's let him be the judge!" Both men turned so H could view their profiles. He studied their noses carefully before announcing.

"They're the same."

"No!"

"Well…" Cena grabbed Batista's hand and pressed his palm to it. "Let's compare new body parts."

Batista studied his hand as it was pressed against Cena's.

"Mine's bigger."

"Is not!" Cena shouted. Triple H booted the two men out of his room and they made their way down the hall arguing once more.

"MY DOLL!" Taker stormed over to Vince who was humming to himself and combing the dolls glimmering locks.

"She's mine…or you're fired!" Vince eyed the big man evilly. "I like her, I'm calling her Precious." He kissed the little doll's head. Taker pouted, to the point of near tears.

"Her name is Pollyanna!" He eyed his little doll with teary green eyes.

"Don't cry, I'll buy you a Furby!" Vince tried to comfort. He took out a bottle of hot pink nail polish (which he stole from John Cena) and started to paint the dolls little fingers.

"You're ruining her!" Taker bellowed taking a step toward his boss.

"Nope, don't you dare come near me and my Precious!" Vince smiled down at the little doll. Taker's whole face began to tremble, his brows arched upward with sadness, his lips curled downwards, and tears spilled from his eyes. He buried his face in his hands and ran out of the room sobbing.

Teddy long could not remember when he had been with a woman so lovely, and he had been with his share. The beautiful young lady lay in his arms as he pressed kisses to her hot, twitching, body. She moaned when he ran his tongue over her breast.

"Teddy, what do you want me to do?" She gasped quivering beneath his touch.

Teddy Long ran a finger down her taught stomach and on down to more intimate parts. In response to her questioned, he just grinned slyly and his dark eyes glimmered as he said:

"Just HOLLA!"

_Haha, go Teddy! Hope you liked this chap. Review please._


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you for reviewing chapters1&2: Divine Arion, Dark Kaneanite, Band G33k, LCHime, and Bryten. Next batch of weirdness!_

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 3: A Phenomenal Transformation, HBK Entrance Music, Jeff's Meat

Vince sat at his desk with his feet propped on it. He whistled off key to himself as he dressed Precious in the new lavender dress he had bought for her. He smiled down at the little doll.

"Don't you look sooo pretty little one?" He cooed to the grinning doll. Vince's intercom buzzed. He sat the doll on his desk and sat up annoyed that he was drawn from his play time. He pressed the button and barked into the speaker.

"Yeah?"

"Mr. McMahon…someone here to see you." The voice of his secretary greeted him a bit nervously. He wondered what her problem was.

"Well who wants to see me or is this some big secret?"

There was a long pause before her voice replied.

"It's…well…"

He heard a growl in the background and moments later a woman burst into his office. The first thing Vince noticed about her was her body. It was amazing. She wore black leather pants, a leather jacket, biker boots, and a white tank top. He could tell her build resembled that of Beth Phoenix, strong, sturdy, yet irresistibly sexy. Vince's eyes traveled upward noting her sumptuous cleavage, which seemed all natural, and finally his eyes landed on her face. A blue bandana was tied around her head and her auburn curls fell over her shoulders. Her beautiful face was contorted into a scowl. She stormed up to the desk and slammed both fists down onto the top of it making Vince's things rattle around. His coffee sloshed over the rim of his mug and dripped a brown stain on some document. Vince was a bit confused at this woman barging in here. He had never seen her in his life…yet…something was familiar about her. Vince squinted and latched onto the woman's eyes and realized what he saw in them.

"Wow, those eyes must run in the family. You're some relation to Mark aren't you? Hmmm, he never mentioned he had a sister." Vince rubbed his chin as his mind began to run wild with ideas and storylines.

"You dumbass!" The woman growled in a deep voice that couldn't help but be seductive. She tugged her jacket off and tossed it onto a chair. It was then that Vince noted the intricate tattoos that weaved up and down her arms. Vince leaned over his desk, his eyes grew wide in surprise, and his mouth fell ajar.

"Holy fucking cow!" He nearly crawled over his desk and peered at the designs. "M-Mark?"

"Yeah, it's me!"

"What the—what--" Vince stammered, cleared his throat, then tried again. "What in the blue hell?"

"That's what I said when I woke up this morning, went to go take a piss, and found out I was less of a man than the night before!"

Vince swallowed as he tried to comprehend what he was seeing. It was odd to see Mark as a woman but at the same time…he was one gorgeous woman! Vince took his seat back and fidgeted as his eyes again roamed the toned curves. He felt his face growing hot…along with other things.

"What are you doing!" Mark snapped. "Don't undress me with your eyes, ya pig!" Mark felt tears begin to sting at his eyes. "All you see is my body, you don't even know who I am! Aw, hell…what am I saying?"

"We-well what do you want me to do about this?"

"I had stuff to do on Smackdown tonight, I mean I thought you just might like to know that if ya still want me to do it fine, but it's gonna be as a woman I guess!"

Vince now saw his dilemma.

"Well, hmmm…I'll have the writers write something out for The Undertaker leaving and we'll introduce you as a new diva biker chick." Vince thought to come up with something. "You are now Callie Calaway and your ring name can be Callie Callous, that's what we'll call you okay Mark?" Vince lowered his voice as though someone might over hear. "Um…tell people you're Taker's sister or cousin or something."

Mark—that is Callie—rolled her eyes white at Vince out of habit.

"You'll have to quit with that too." Vince scolded.

"I'm taking her." Mark-Callie snatched the little doll away from Vince and skipped happily out of the room.

"Maybe I should change my theme song." Shawn Michael's wondered out loud.

"Well, what would you change it too?" HHH asked rubbing his stubbly chin. Shawn thought for a moment and then burst into song.

"If you want my body and you think I'm sexy come on sugar let me know!"

"Ack! NO!" Hunter made a gagging sound. "Rod Stewart? Hell no!"

"Alright…let me think some more." Again there was silence as Shawn contemplated. He then started to dance the robot and opened his mouth to sing. "I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts! Yeah I'm too sexy for my hat, too sexy for my hat, watcha think about that?"

"MC Hammer?" Triple H raised an eyebrow. "Please Shawn…and by the way…you're not sexy."

"I am too!" Shawn pouted. "I am very, very, sexy."

"Ummm…no." Hunter laughed.

"Well what song would you suggest Paul?"

Triple H rolled his eyes upward to the ceiling to give the issue some thought. At last a smirk crossed his face and he began to sing. "Do your balls hang low, do they wobble to and fro can ya tie 'em in a knot, can ya tie em in a bow? Can you through 'em over your shoulder like a continental soldier do your balls hang low!"

Hunter grabbed his sides and laughed so hard he was crying. HBK however was not amused.

"I think I'll stick with the music I have already." HBK landed a powerful kick to Triple H's chin and now it was his turn to smirk. "That is Sweet Chin Music!"

Matt walked into the hotel room that he and Jeff were sharing. He stopped short when he saw empty cans littering the ground as though the room had suddenly turned into a landfill. He wrinkled his nose at the nasty smell and bent to pick up a can.

"Disgusting!" He said and sat the can on the table. "Jeff…where are you?"

"I'm in the bathroom. Come here!"

Matt raised his eyebrows.

"Ummm…do I have to?"

"Yeah, I'm having trouble with my meat bro."

Matt took a step back and contemplated bolting from the room while he still had the chance. But, this was his little brother so he should go see what he needed.

"Jeff, you sure? Maybe you're um…uh…"

"Just come here man, you can help me press it!"

"What!" Matt yelled.

"I said you can help me with the head!"

"No thanks!"

Matt turned to leave but Jeff darted out from the bathroom and grabbed him with slimy hands. Matt's eyes about fell out of his head and he quickly pulled away from Jeff's nasty grasp.

"Aaack! Don't touch me! That's about the grossest thing in the world!"

"I know you don't like to eat it Matt, geeze, but what's wrong with touching it?"

Jeff dragged his brother into the bathroom. Matt thought he was going to blow chunks all over the place. He squeezed his eyes shut.

"Matt…what are you doing? I want you to see what it looks like."

"NO!"

"Come on it's no big deal!" Jeff whined.

"NO!" Matt shouted again and tried to get away. Jeff brought his foot down hard on his brother's toes and the older Hardy let out a howl as he grabbed his foot and hopped around the bathroom. His eyes flew open in the process and so Jeff achieved his goal. Matt stopped suddenly seeing what Jeff had on the vanity.

"My meat won't work." Jeff repeated. "I can't get the right shape…you think it looks like Vince's head?"

Matt couldn't help but crack up laughing. Sitting on the vanity was a lumpy Spam sculpture of Vince McMahon's head.

'_Kay, sorry I know the Spam part was way perverted but I kinda just thought it up and it was so funny/off the wall I just had to put it in. Hope I didn't gross anyone out too bad. Next chapter we'll see some more of the Phemale Phenom. Lol. Hope this chapter got a few laughs!_


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you to all who reviewed: x.Mayhemx., BellaHickenbottom, Dizzyful, The Vampire Lucinda, Divine Arion, LCHime, and Dark Kaneanite. Here's the next! (Don't be scared away by the title, lolz!)_

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 4: I Like Big Noses, Have a Happy Period, Clue

Callie/Mark was in a place she never thought she would be…the Diva's locker room. She tried not to stare as she tied a bandana around her flowing auburn locks.

"Hi." Said a familiar voice. It's Kelly Kelly. "So you're Mark's cousin Callie? Good job out there tonight."

Callie/Mark turned to look at the diva who was addressing him but she was rendered speechless when she saw that said Diva was fully nude. Kelly had taken the towel from her body and was now using it to dry her blonde hair.

"Um…uh…uh-huh…thanks." Callie/Mark tore her gaze away from the confused looking Diva and quickly snapped her head in the opposite direction. This however proved very ineffective because on the other side Jillian bent over and a lacey thong rode up her ass. Callie/Mark stuffed her head into her locker, wishing it was a refrigerator instead of a locker.

"Is something wrong Callie?" Beth Phoenix asked pushing her way between Kelly and Callie/Mark.

"No." Callie/Mark managed to gasp. "Just…claustrophobic!" Callie/Mark grabbed her things and hurried out of the locker room. When she got out she quickly sank into a chair panting in a mess of overwhelming and confusing feelings. She ran a hand over her chin, missing her goatee she had when she was a guy. She glared at the wall with her piercing green eyes. Why did this happen to me? I don't want to be a woman, this sucks.

Maria came strutting out of the locker room with Maryse. The two eyed Callie/Mark with a look she could only indentify as lust.

"Callie, just in case you want some fun tonight…" Maria took Callie/Mark's hand in hers and scrawled a number on it. "Here's our room number." She sent Callie/Mark a coy smile and Maryse blew a kiss as the two walked away arm in arm. So…maybe this wasn't so bad after all. Callie/Mark stood up to follow the two girls, but suddenly her stomach cramped.

In the men's locker room there was muffled talking as Triple H walked out of the shower with a towel around his waist. Kane leaned over to Chris Jericho and exclaimed:

"Oh my God Chris, look at his nose!"

"It's so big." Chris eyed Triple H's large nose in wonder. "He look's like one of those diva girl's boyfriends…who understands those diva girls?"

"They only talk to him because he looks like a total elephant-man, I mean, his nose…it's just so big!" Kane went on. JBL sat down next to him hearing the conversation and he added, as he ogled at Triple H's nose:

"I can't believe it's so huge, it's just out there! I mean, it's gross, look he's just so…"

Suddenly, Triple H opened his locker to pull out some clothes and Stephanie McMahon jumped out.

"Iiiiieeeeeee like big snouts and I can not lie! The other divas can't deny, that when a guy walks in with an itty bitty thing and a big nose on his face you just…get…sprung!"

All the men in the locker room were completely astounded as Stephanie danced around the locker room rapping.

"Wanna pull up tough cuz you notice his nose is stuffed deep in the jeans I'm wearin' I'm hooked and I can't stop starin'!" She draped herself onto Triple H and danced seductively on him and trailed a finger down his large nose. "Oh, baby I wanna get with ya, and take your picture, my homegirls tried to warn me but that snout you got make me so horny! Ooh…nose of smooth skin, you say you wanna get in my Benz? Well use me use me cuz you ain't that average groupy!"

Stephanie took a break from her rap to do a bit of break dancing to everyone's surprise. No one ever imagined Mr. McMahon's only daughter spinning on her head in the guys locker room. All the men could do was stand mouths ajar and stare. Stephanie busted out a few wicked moves and then jumped up onto the locker room bench and strutted around on it.

"So baby yeah, baby yeah, you wanna roll in my Mercedes? Then turn around, stick it out my Triple H has got the snout, BABY GOT NOSE!" Stephanie pumped her fists into the air. "Are you with me? Come on, sing it! I like BIG-"

Triple H interrupted her by plucking her from the bench and tucking her under his arm.

"That's enough, Steph." He said as his cheeks flushed bright red. She poked her lip out in a pout as Hunter carried her out of the locker room.

"Which ones brighter?" Beth asked as she and Santino hid out in the stairwell.

"Left one." Santino gave it a poke. "I've a-never known a lady to have the, how you say, glow in the dark hooters, but it's good for Santino, I don't-a have to be afraid of the dark now!"

Beth cuddled with him.

"That's so sweet."

"Well, if anyone a-knows sweet, then it's a-Santino Marella!" He grinned to himself. It faltered slowly as a curious thought crossed his mind. "Beth, do they a-come in black light?"

Beth tilted her head and shrugged.

"I don't know."

Suddenly, her electric boobs fizzled and burned out.

"Oh no! What-a happened to the liiiiiights!" Santino's crazed yell echoed through the stairwell. "Turn it on, TURN IT ON!"

"OW! Quit poking! Blew a fuse, that's all."

Santino began to whimper like a frightened puppy.

"There are a-m-mon-monsters in-a the dark!"

"There-there my little cannoli, it's okay." Beth soothed. She stopped and her eyes widened when she heard a growl coming from the inky darkness.

"SHIIIIIIIIIT!" Santino squealed.

"Hush!" Beth commanded. "Who…who's there?"

"Who's there? Who you think is there…is-a the fucking monster!"

Beth peeked cautiously into the darkness under the stairs.

"Okay monster, you better come out here and get ready for an ass kicking, because this is Glamarella you're trying to mess with!"

"Don't do it Beth! He'll eat you up a-like a tasty little ravioli!"

"Shut up, Marella." A gruff voice barked. A form crawled from beneath the stairs and when Beth strained her eyes she could make out who was lurking in the shadows.

"Santino, it's okay. It's just--"

Beth was interrupted by a bellow from Santino as he pointed at the person who was lurking in the shadows.

"MONSTER!"

"I said shut up!" Vince McMahon leaned out of the darkness and smacked Santino upside the head.

"Oh, it's not a monster, it's-a just McMahon." Santino paused and rubbed his head. "Wait…"

Callie/Mark tore through the hotel in a rage. This was not supposed to happen! First she had to realize what exactly was happening to her body, and then when she realized, it was too late. Her favorite jeans were ruined. After that she retreated to her hotel room in tears and found some pajama pants. She then snuck away from the hotel to a local convenient store to buy some necessary items. Things are never that easy though. She stood there staring at all the products wondering what in the hell she was supposed to get. First there were tampons or napkins. Then you have all the brands: Kotex, Maxi, Stayfree, Tampax, but the worst was Always. On the bag it reads "Have a happy period". Bull shit! Callie/Mark almost yelled at the damned thing as her stomach and back cramped up.

She looked up and down at the products. If the various brands were not enough to confuse a lady there were all the different types within the brand, this one has wings, this one has some pearl thing, this one has a special applicator, this one is overnight, these are light, medium, super. What the hell? Callie/Mark could feel her head pounding. She was just tired and felt horrible and angry and wanted to get the fuck out of the store. Callie/Mark grabbed products form the shelf until she could not carry anymore. The poor clerk looked terrified when this tall, muscled, PMS-ing, biker-chick dumped an armload of feminine products onto the counter in a heap.

"Is…is that all?" The pimple faced boy asked timidly.

"Yes." Callie/Mark snapped. "No!" She barked chaning her mind on a whim. "I want chocolate, lots and lots of it!" Callie/Mark grabbed handfuls of candy bars and added those to the pile of stuff.

Meanwhile

The night was wearing on and coming to a close. All the Diva's and Superstars were asleep (even Callie/Mark was asleep after passing out from the aftermath of her chocolate/sugar rush). A select few were still awayke, thoe who were hanging out it the Hardy's room. These included the Hardys, Shannon Moore, CM Punk, Randy Orton, John Cena, and Triple H. The seven of them were intently playing a game of Clue.

"I'm narrowing this shit down!" Shannon announced as he marked off The Dining Room on his list.

"If I ever get murdered, please don't call Shan to solve the crime." Jeff teased.

"We'll just blame it on Matt." Cena laughed as he moved his yellow Colonel Mustard piece into The Kitchen.

"You're an idiot Cena. It's not The Kitchen." Shannon said as he looked at his list.

"I know that, I'm using the secret passage way dude, chill out!"

"Nooo you can't use it until your next turn!" CM Punk slapped Cena's hand as he began to use The Secret Passage.

"Geeze Mrs. Peacock, don't have a fit!" Jeff said to Punk who grabbed up the rules and began to argue with John.

"Who cares about the rules, it's my turn." Randy Orton rolled the dice and moved his Professor Plum piece five spaces and into The Conservatory. "Yes, the age of Orton is upon us, watch as I reveal the killer, place of death, and murder weapon. Bwa-ha-ah!" He looked at the men around the room with a cocky expression on his face. "Mr. Green, in The Conservatory, with The Wrench, yeah The Fucking Wrench! Who's the winner!"

Orton even got up and started a victory dance but Shannon tugged on his pants leg.

"It ain't The Wrench." Shannon grinned as he pulled a card from his hand and revealed to Orton that he had The Wrench, therefore The Wrench was not the object by which Mr. Body had met his untimely death.

Orton yelled a line of curses as his victory was crushed.

"You cheated, I had everything but The Wrench marked off!" CM Punk showed his list as evidence. "It has to be The Wrench, some one here is cheating!"

"That's just you being a knucklehead and marking off the wrong weapon. It's right here!" Shannon waved his card in front of Punk's face and Punk glared at it angrily.

"It's not The Wrench anyway, it's The Revolver! Who in the hell kills someone with The Wrench?" Cena piped up. Soon every voice but one was raised in argument over who was cheating, who was playing the game wrong, what weapon was best to use, who's turn was next, and the legal use of a secrete passage. Everyone suddenly jumped and Matt and Jeff even dove behind the bed as Triple H brought his sledge hammer down into the middle of the board spilling all the pieces and causing everyone to fumble and drop their cards.

"Triple H, in The Hardy's room, with The Sledge Hammer." Triple H growled at the six men in the room. "That's how you play The Game. I win. Goodnight."

With that, Triple H won the game of Clue and retreated to his room (perhaps via a secret passage) for a good nights sleep…that is unless Stephanie decided to rap again.

_Let me know what you think. :D Love to all!_


	5. Chapter 5

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 5: 'Taker's Happy Dance, Karaoke, WWE Goes Green

Jeff cracked open his green eyes. There was some sort of chaos going on in the hallway. He looked over at the clock and the red numbers told him it was 3:16am. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and grumbled as he stretched and heard the familiar crack in his back. He shuffled to the door.

"My donut…" Matt mumbled in his sleep. Jeff scratched at his colorful hair and then opened the door. He squinted, momentarily blinded by the light in the hallway. His eyes widened as a very big man came bounding down the hallway. _Thump, thump, thump!_ His footfalls were like a herd of elephants and more people opened their doors as the big man raised his voice in a triumphant cheer.

"I'm a maaaan!"

It was Mark. He was wearing a woman's nightgown and pink fuzzy slippers and he had some sort of cream smeared on his face. Jeff, coming out of his grogginess, realized suddenly that the sight was insanely hilarious and he started to laugh his head off. Mark stopped in the middle of the hallway and began to do a funny little dance with a huge, crazed, smile on his face.

"Oh yeah, I'm a man! I'm a man I'm a man I'm a manly man!" 'Taker shouted and pumped his fists.

Shawn Michaels stood across the hallway from Jeff and rubbed his eyes. His golden brown hair flew around his face.

"I once nicknamed you 'Cool Hand Luke'…maybe that wasn't exactly right…"

"What's he on?" Hunter laughed as he watched the display in the hallway.

"Man?" Rey Mysterio yawned. "You're wearing a purple nightie with hearts and pink furry slippers."

Bradshaw hung his head out of his room and let loose an angry yell that his sleep was being disturbed. When he saw 'Taker in his state, his aggravation turned into amusement and he began to bray laughter louder than anyone else. Mark began once again to run up and down the hallway. Kane brought him to a halt with his arm out stretched and his palm held up in a 'stop' gesture.

"Taker…what the…hell?" The bald man looked his friend up and down. "Wait…you aren't even supposed to be here. Vince said you were taking time off."

The laughter in the hallway subsided as it dawned on everyone else that this was true.

"Glen, I'm a man! I have…man stuff!" Mark pointed downwards, a huge grin lit up his face.

"You are a middle aged man and you just now realize this?"

There were a few chuckles from the others who had now congregated in the hallway.

"Oh crap…I'm still dressed like Callie."

Mark/Callie had been splitting a room with Maria. She had got up to use the bathroom, went to do so, and found out she was no longer a woman! The immediate joy and jubilation of finding out he was once again in proper form blotted out all shreds of restraint and he just ran out of the room singing and yelling in glee. Now he realized he was standing in front of a bunch of the guys still dressed like a woman.

"It's a long story…all you need to know is, I'm a guy. Got it?" He turned to leave. "Oh, by the way…don't breathe a word of my little display here or…" He lapsed into 'Taker gimmick and rolled his eyes back in the classic grimace that will make anyone shudder.

"I didn't see anything, did you?" Hunt asked Shawn. Michael's swung his head back and forth adamantly denying he knew a thing.

"It was all a dream." Jeff said with a smile.

"I knew I shouldn't have eaten that pizza." Bradshaw put in. The men in the hallway disappeared into their rooms leaving 'Taker and Kane alone.

"So are you going to let me in on this?" Kane questioned.

"Ha." Mark clapped him on the back. "There are some things even you don't need to know."

Mark gave one last parting dance before he headed back to Maria's room. When Maria woke up and found him in her bed, she beat him up with a pillow.

The next night, they were all in a new and exciting place. Well, not so exciting. There was a huge storm. Most of the superstars and diva's hung around milling about in the lobby of the hotel wishing they were someplace else. For some reason, Shane McMahon had called them all down to the lobby. It could have been because Triple H got bored and spray painted a green DX on the back of an obese woman who was sleeping on a chair by the indoor pool. Everyone groaned when they saw what Shane-O was carrying. He was toting along a karaoke machine and a bunch of CD's.

"Time for some fun!" He said plugging in the karaoke machine. 'Taker had grabbed some CD's and shuffled through them reading the titles. He gave a little snicker and put one in.

"Since this is your idea Shane, why don't you hit it off." Mark suggested. There were more groans. "Come on, this could be a riot." Mark handed the mic to Shane.

"Well…okay."

'Taker pressed play.

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they're like it's better than yours, damn right, it's better than yours. I can teach you but I have to charge!"

Shane laughed, and then to everyone's surprise, he began to sing along with the song.

"I know you want it, the thing that makes me what the guys go crazy for. They lose their minds the way I wind I think it's time!"

Half of the room laughed, half began to boo.

"Get him out of there!" CM Punk yelled while holding his nose, as if to imply Shane stunk.

"Alright Phil, get up here."

'Taker shuffled again through the cd's and he raised an eyebrow when his eye caught something strange.

"Okay…I don't know why Shane would have this song…but come on Punk, you're up."

"Great, I can't wait to see what you picked for me Deadman."

Phil took the mic and looked cocky as he waited.

"Puff the magic dragon lived by the sea and frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee…"

Punk sang and the room burst into laughter.

"Okay, I'm done." He handed the mic to 'Taker. "Why don't you sing one?"

"Aerosmith: Dude Look Like a Lady!" Someone yelled.

"Man, I Feel Like a Woman, Shania Twain!" Someone else yelled.

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!" Someone chimed in a girly falsetto.

Sniggers rose throughout the room. Mark pointed the mic at the laughing people.

"When I find out who the rat is that spilled the beans about last night, I'm going to cut off his diseased head!" He scowled at the crowd until they went silent, and then his own laughter filled the lobby. The relieved superstars and divas joined in.

"I've got it. Jeff and I have this one." Matt pulled out a cd and put it in the player. He dragged Jeff up to the front and whispered something in his ear. Jeff grabbed Beth Phoenix's black plastic sun glasses and Matt stole the fedora from the head of the Miz.

"Hey!" Miz tried to protest but was interrupted when the song came on. Matt tipped the hat over his eyes and sang into the mic as Jeff danced around beside him with the shades on, thrusting his hips around similar to his entrance dance.

"Comin to ya on a dusty road, good lovin' I got a truck load! And when you get it you got somethin', so don't worry cause I'm comin'!"

Jeff and Matt both chimed in for the chorus.

"I'm a soul man!"

Some of the diva's started to scream and cheer. Katie Lea pretended to swoon.

The chorus came to an end and Matt left Jeff with the mic and the older Hardy moved his hips like Elvis and then busted out "the moonwalk".

"Got what I got the hard way…" Jeff sang and lowered his shades to wink at the divas. "And I'll make it better each and every day, so honey don't you fret cause you ain't seen nothin' yet!"

"I'm a soul man!" Both Hardy's joined in again for the chorus. At the next verse, Matt was back on the mic and Jeff was on the floor doing "the worm" to a cheering lobby full of superstars and divas. The whole room was dancing and having a good time by now. When the song came to an end the place was in an uproar.

"That's how you do karaoke." Matt said with a smirk. He handed the mic back to Shane.

Later that evening the lobby had cleared out from what it was. Shane had lugged the karaoke machine away. There were a few superstars and one diva left sitting around the lobby as the rain poured outside and the lightening cracked.

"You know what?" Jillian asked with a cock of her head. "WWE should go green."

"I am green, I've got loooots of green." Said Bradshaw. He pulled out his wallet and patted it.

"No! I mean about the environment, duh!" She wagged her finger at him. "Do you know about, like all these emissions and stuff? It's killing everything!"

"That's what we've tried to tell you Jillian, but you just keep on singing!" MVP snorted. Jillian took a moment to figure out the joke, then she narrowed her eyes at him.

"That's not funny!" She threw a coaster at him and he ducked causing it to hit Ken "Mr. Kennedy" Anderson.

"You have just struck Misteeeeeeeeeer Kennedy!" He leaned down close to Jillian's face. "Kennedy!"

"Maybe if Kennedy ran his mouth less that would cut down on some emissions too." MVP joked.

"This is serious!" Jillian folded her arms and pouted. "You don't get it! Our ice is melting because it's like, hot and everything and we keep polluting stuff, the whole world is going to die!"

"Doesn't matter to me, I'm already dead." Said 'Taker as he rolled his eyes upward.

"Do you take this as one big joke?" Jillian stood to her feet, shocked that these men didn't seem to care. "How is it going to be a joke when Greenland melts and raises the ocean levels and wipes out, like, Florida and stuff!"

"What are we supposed to do about it Jillian? Most of us travel with one another, so we do car pooling. That counts for something right?" Chris "Jericho" Irvine spoke up.

"Yeah, it helps. But we could do a lot more!"

"We could gag Chris!" Shawn Michael's shouted triumphantly. "Yeah!"

"Y'know what Shawn…" Chris kept up the playful ribbing. "I should deflate your head, no wait, that would only increase the problem…because you're head is all full of hot air!"

Everyone, (well except Jillian) and including Shawn, laughed.

"You guys!" Jillian stomped her foot. "I am about to sing if you don't take me seriously!"

"Look, let's just each make some kind of vow to go green so Jillian won't sing!"

"Erm, I'm going to uh…never wash my underwear again…thus…helping conserve energy." Bradshaw stated, confusing himself.

"Triple H and I will fill JBL's gas tank with pee so it doesn't burn gas and pollute." Shawn offered. Hunter high fived him.

"Yeah, what he said." HHH nodded in approval.

"I'll…wear a Greenbay jersey and mark out the 'bay' part so it just says Green. Then people will think I'm promoting going green, then more people will go green, because they'll see I'm so cool I did it." Kennedy reasoned. "Misteeeeer Kennedy….Kennedy. Green!"

"I hear something, what? What is that?" Chris put a hand to his ear as if listening. "It's the voice of our planet, it says 'Save Me Y2J!' That will be my new slogan, and since I am way more cool than Kennedy--"

"Kennedy!" Ken shouted.

"Yeah, anyways, since I am way cooler, I will convert even more people to the green lifestyle than he will!" Chris looked around smugly at the others.

"I'll recycle my Breathe-Right strips." MVP shrugged. "Whatever."

"I will tombstone anyone who dares to emit pollutants into the environment." 'Taker turned and smiled at Chris. "And since I am the coolest of all of you, I win."

"No, the environment wins!" Jillian cheered and hopped up and down excitedly. "Oh…wait. Big Show, what are you going to do?"

"Hm?" Big Show looked up from the Taco Bell he was eating. "Oh yeah, we're going green. Um, I won't eat anymore burritos."

"How does that help?" Jillian looked confused.

"Y'know, emissions and all that." 'Taker chuckled. "Believe me, if Show quits eating burritos, I think this whole global warming thing might just reverse itself."

"Haha Mark." Show said as he bit into his burrito—which via his promise to Jillian it would be his last. Then, to everyone's dismay, Big Show tooted.

"Aaaagh!"

The people nearest him coughed and held their nose. HBK fell off the arm of the sofa with an unflattering flop. Triple H laughed and waved his hand through the air to waft away some of the fumes.

"Um…sorry." Show offered with a shrug of his gigantic shoulders.

"That's my point." 'Taker deadpanned. "Somewhere in Antarctica, a huge ass ice shelf just fell into the ocean." He patted Show on the knee. "Good going."

_Haha, I thought of WWE goes green while lying in bed one night. For some reason I just got this weird blurb of Big Show talking about eating burritos, passing gas, and then the funny line 'Taker says so I just had to work it into a story. I hope it was funny. On a more pleasant note, is it just me or is the thought of Matt Hardy doing The Moonwalk sexy? Lol maybe it's just my weird imagination. :) Reviews plz and thnkz_


	6. Chapter 6

_This is short, but I think it's pretty funny. :D Thank you for reviews! (((hugs)))_

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 6: The Chat

DarkLordTaker: i guys

EdgeyWedgey: i guys?

DarkLordTaker: Yea , t e letter…is broken on my keyboard :(

EdgeyWedgey: …that's a letter?

ShaneOoOoO: Here comes the money! :D

DarkLordTaker: W y do I get t e feeling t ere's some really bad dancing going on somew ere?

ShaneOoOoO:?

EdgeyWedgey: His 'H' is broken.

H.x.TO.x.THE.x.THIRD: I have a problem guys…

ShaneOoOoO: We are well aware

H.x.TO.x.THE.x.THIRD: Shut up please

DarkLordTaker: w ats going on Triple

H.x.TO.x.THE.x.THIRD: Triple? What happened to my H's?

EdgeyWedgey: They're broken

H.x.TO.x.THE.x.THIRD: I see

ShaneOoOoO: But what's your problem Paul?

H.x.TO.x.THE.x.THIRD: I'm having a gender identity crisis!

DarkLordTaker: lmfao!

EdgeyWedgey: Why are you laughing? I heard you were dancing around in a hotel in a woman's nightie

ShaneOoOoO: Oh my…when did I miss this?

DarkLordTaker: S ane, t at's disgusting…

H.x.TO.x.THE.x.THIRD: Does anyone care about my crisis?

ShaneOoOoO: Can you describe the nightie and the way you danced?

DarkLordTaker: I can but I'm not

ShaneOoOoO: Pleeeease

H.x.TO.x.THE.x.THIRD: Is anyone listening to me?!

EdgeyWedgy: What? Did anyone hear something? No, me neither. ;) :P

ShaneOoOoO: Just look between your legs that should give you a clue

DarkLordTaker: Not always

H.x.TO.x.THE.x.THIRD: BRB

ShaneOoOoO: I bet it was lacey

DarkLordTaker: Shane, please stop

ShaneOoOoO: That would be nice, I could so picture you in this blood red lacey thing damn!

EdgeyWedy: Bad mental images, yuck, you're sick! Didn't your father ever teach you anything? Wait…

DarkLordTaker: Stop imagining me in dirty ways, I feel violated! :O

ShaneOoOoO: I could violate you ;)

H.x.TO.x.THE.x.THIRD: Back...I have a dick

EdgeyWedgey: WB and Congratulations, give the man a prize!

ShaneOoOoO: WB Hunt. I have one too…it's happy

EdgeyWedgey: I feel sick…very sick

DarkLordTaker: You feel sick? I'm t e one e's fantasizing about! ICK!

ShaneOoOoO: Lacey, hot, sweaty, sticky, muscles, dark and handsome and growling…omg!

EdgeyWedgey: Erm can you take this else where Shane?

DarkLordTaker: Bye guys

**DarkLordTaker has logged off**

H.x.TO.x.THE.x.THIRD: But I sometimes wear Stephanie's clothes

EdgeyWedgey: This is a very strange conversation

H.x.TO.x.THE.x.THIRD: And I enjoy it

EdgeyWedgey:...

H.x.TO.x.THE.x.THIRD: Adam, you would make a hot girl. If you change I will!

EdgeyWedgey: …change?

H.x.TO.x.THE.x.THIRD: Yeah into a girl, you know get some snip snips and some silicon

EdgeWedgey: Um, no

ShaneOoOoO: Oh, my lovely Mark left didn't he? I was just thinking of him dancing…in my lap…really happy…brb

H.x.TO.x.THE.x.THIRD: I wonder where he's going?

EdgeyWedgey: Some things are better left unknown

H.x.TO.x.THE.x.THIRD: I think I'm going to play with Stephanie's bra

EdgeyWedgey: Just like I said before…

H.x.TO.x.THE.x.THIRD: You are a 8:;:;:;:;:D

EdgeyWedgey: Whats that?

H.x.TO.x.THE.x.THIRD: A penis

EdgeyWedgey: We'll you're a (O)

**EdgeyWedgey has logged off**

H.x.TO.x.THE.x.THIRD: What's that?

H.x.TO.x.THE.x.THIRD: Oh, I get it

**H.x.TO.x.THE.x.THIRD has logged off**

_Reviews appreciated, thank you for taking time to read. Hope it made you lol a bit. :D_


	7. Chapter 7

_Thank you for the reviews, I have another update for you all! :D_

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 7:My Pretty Pony, Wanted: A Woodchuck, Room 83

"My pretty pony."

Jeff sighed happily as he made horse snuffles and sounds and moved his plastic pony along the bed.

"Oh, hi!" He said in a high pitched voice. In his left hand he held a pony that was red with sparkles, a blue mane and tail, and a rainbow on its hip. "I'm Priscilla the pretty purple pony princess!"

"Ooh, well I'm Skittles!" Said the red pony. "Look at my pretty pretty hair!"

"Let's go eat some magical straw!"

Jeff grinned stupidly as he played with the ponies moving them up the bed.

"Oh no! There's a huge mountain and we have to cross it before we can get the magical straw!" Priscilla pony wailed. "I'll chip my hooves, I just got them manicured!"

"But just think what we could do when we get some of that magical straw!" Skittle pony started to move up the hill, which was really Matt curled up asleep in the bed. Jeff moved the toys over the form of his sleeping brother.

"Oh no, I'm going to faaaall!"

"Oh no Princess Priscilla, I'll save you!"

Poor Princess Priscilla, she tumbled off of Matt's hip before Skittles could save her.

"Noooooooo!" Skittles pony reared up on her back legs and wailed. "I'll just have to go on without her and eat the magical straw, then I can wish for Princess Priscilla to come back!"

So with that thought in mind Skittles continued onward. However, Jeff reached behind Matt and up from the other side of the mountain, the evil blue pony with yellow hair hopped up and blocked Skittle's passage.

"Who dare to trek over my mountain!" Jeff growled in a deep voice.

"Out of my way!" Skittles pony kicked at the blue one but he didn't move.

"I'm Blue Meanie and I don't let anyone pass over my mountain! I know what you're after, you seek the magical straw. Well, you can't have it!"

"Swantoooooon!" Skittle pony shrieked and leaped into the air doing a bunch of twists and flips before landing on Blue Meanie and sending him toppling off the mountain, aka Matt's shoulder. "Victory!" Skittles pony trudged over the mountain a bit further until she was perched at the peek which was Matt's head.

"Magical straw, at last you are mine!" Jeff buried the pony's snout into Matt's dark hair. "Nom, nom nom!"

Matt grumbled and rolled his shoulder a bit. Skittles pony stopped her chomping and cried out in alarm.

"Oh no! This isn't a mountain, it's a volcano, and it's going to erupt! I have to eat some more magical straw and make my wish!" Jeff dug the pony's head into Matt's hair again.

"Lemme alone." The older Hardy grumbled sleepily and turned his head burying his face into the pillow.

"It's going to blow at any moment! I can feel the tremors!"

Matt moved beneath the cover and grumbled some more and then he started to sit up.

"Iiiieeeeeee! Nooooooooo!" Skittle pony tumbled off the mountain, over the edge of the bed, and to her horrible death on the floor below. Matt rubbed his eyes and squinted at his brother.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm playing my little pony." Jeff said innocently enough.

"…what?"

"You know…" Jeff snatched up Blue Meanie and Princess Priscilla and held them up. "See?"

"Jeff, I think each day you grow just a little more odd than the day before." Matt fell back to his pillows and drew the covers up to his chin.

"I'm supposed to be, I'm an Engima!" Jeff grinned happily as he made Blue Meanie and Princess Priscilla kiss.

"Yes Jeff, you certainly are." Matt laughed.

After a few more hours of playing my little pony, Jeff grew bored and headed out of the room leaving Matt snoring away in the bed. In the lobby he found Mizanin sitting on a sectional looking through a newspaper and frowning at it harshly. Jeff plopped down next to him and peeked over at what he was reading, the classifieds.

"Can you believe this!" Miz huffed angrily as he wadded up the newspaper.

"Um, what?"

"Everywhere we go I've been looking in the pets section hoping to find it and all they have are boring things like dogs, cats, snakes, chinchillas, tiger…"

"Tiger?" Jeff scratched at his rainbow hair. "Really? Is it free?"

"No, it comes with a cage." Miz said pointing out the add.

"No man, I mean does it cost money or is it for free?"

"It's free. But I don't want a tiger!" He slumped back on the cushions crossing his arms over his chest in a pout.

"Well what do you want?"

"I want a woodchuck!"

Ken Anderson, who overheard the conversation, butted his big mouth in.

"Why in the blue hell would you want a woodchuck? I mean, it's not like they're cute and cuddly or anything. You should get a kitten. I love kittens!" Kennedy sat on the other side of Miz and pretended to stroke an imaginary kitten that was curled in his arms.

"Dogs are way better." Jeff threw an imaginary stick across the lobby. "Go get it boy, go get it!" He waited a moment or two and then bent as though scratching the head of a dog. "Good boy, good boy! He brought back his toy yes he did!"

"Um, Jeff?" Ken asked still stroking his imaginary kitten.

"See, a cat won't play fetch with you."

"But a cat or a dog can't chuck wood either, only a wood chuck can chuck wood." Miz explained. He reached over and pet Ken's invisible kitty. "Hey, you're idiot cat hissed at me!" Miz drew his hand away and cowered into Jeff.

"Well that's what you get for stroking Ken's pussy!" Jeff snorted.

"You better shut it Hardy!" Ken glared.

"If I had a wood chuck it wouldn't hiss at me!"

"It would just chuck wood." Ken shrugged. "Right? What kind of pet would that be?"

"But the real question here is…" Jeff paused dramatically. "How much wood would the wood chuck chuck if the wood chuck could chuck wood?"

"Lots." Miz reasoned. "I'd train him."

"You're a wood chuck trainer? I mean don't you have to be certified or something?" Ken sneezed.

"Are you getting sick? Don't give me a flippin' cold!" Jeff hollered and relocated himself to an adjacent couch.

"No, I just got an imaginary cat hair in my nose." Ken sniffed.

"I am a certified wood chuck trainer. I went to the academy." Miz explained. "And, wood chucks don't shed like cats do. See, they're t he perfect pet."

"Hey guys." Glen Jacobs greeted the three men. "What's up?"

Jeff jerked a thumb at Miz.

"That guy wants a wood chuck."

Glen tilted his head.

"Really? That's funny. I have one in my suitcase."

Ken and Jeff exchanged confused glances. Miz jumped up onto the couch and pumped his fist into the air excitedly.

"Er, Glen why would you have a wood chuck?"

"Jeff, why else would I have a wood chuck other than to chuck wood? Geeze, you're dense." Glen rolled his eyes at the rainbow haired man and Ken broke out into a laughing fit.

"Come on Miz, let's go get your wood chuck!"

"Alright!" Miz jumped off the couch and followed Glen to his room to get his wood chuck.

Later that evening Jeff and Ken still found themselves down stairs playing with their imaginary pets. Ken was angry at Jeff for giving the cat catnip and getting it all loopy so he was pouting. Jeff was training his dog to wrestle with Miz's wood chuck, which Miz had taken out for a walk.

"Whoah, look at her!" Ken suddenly shouted, forgetting that he was supposed to be moping. Jeff swiveled his head to see what Ken was pointing at. Standing at the check in desk was an amazingly hot woman dressed in leather. Jeff whistled.

"Nice."

"I wonder if she's coming to visit one of our guys?"

"She can come visit me, that's for damn sure!" Jeff growled.

"Let's spy!" Ken crawled away from the couch and slinked up behind a potted plant and watched the woman for a few moments. After she left and headed towards the elevators, Ken came bounding back with a huge stupid grin on his face.

"She's going to room eighty-three!"

"Hmm…who's that? Is it anyone we know?"

Ken shrugged.

"I bet it's 'Taker."

"You bet what's me?"

Ken turned to see Mark looming over him.

"Lost the bet Kennedy." Jeff laughed.

"You're betting on me?"

"No, we were talking about this hot leather clad chick that came in and she went to room eighty three. We were trying to guess who's room it is." Ken explained. Mark rubbed his goatee in thought.

"I bet Glen, sounds like some sleeze he'd pick out."

"She was freaking fine deadman!" Jeff said. "Come here boy." He patted his knee and Mark pulled a confused face.

"That's his dog."

"Whatever." Mark said sitting in a chair. "Hey, look." He watched as another hot chick came in and leaned over the desk. Soon Ken and Jeff both had their eyes fixed on her and Ken once again played spy until she left the desk to strut on to her destination.

"Damn, she's going to room eighty-three too!"

"Someone is really getting lucky!" Jeff tried to think of who that lucky person might be. "I bet it's someone we'd never expect."

Taker let out a sudden booming laugh that nearly startled the other two.

"How about Festus?"

"I hope the girls brought a bell to ring!" Ken joked and the three men burst out into laughter.

"Look! Another one!" Ken hopped up and down excitedly as a buxom red head sauntered over to the desk.

"I bet it's Dave." Jeff said. "The Animal is such a player."

"No, he went out clubbing with Cena, Orton, and Rhodes." Mark watched as the red head flipped her hair and wiggled her rear. Ken disappeared behind the potted tree to see if she too was headed to room 83. He came back to the other two bobbing his head up and down.

"Eighty three."

"Maybe it's Miz?" Mark thought. "No wait, you said he was out walking his wood chuck." Mark paused, his brows drawing together. "Where the hell did he get a wood chuck?"

"From Glen." Ken said. Mark decided it was better to stop asking questions. Where in the hell would Glen get a wood chuck, and why? Well, to chuck wood I guess, Mark thought to himself.

"Mark, look…number four!" Jeff grinned and licked his lips as a dark haired beauty stopped at the desk to inquire about a room. Once again, Ken spied on her and found out that she was indeed the fourth woman to be given that mysterious room number: Eighty three.

"That does it!" Jeff said leaping up from the couch. "I'm going to room eighty-three and seeing who's in there. I bet it's Kahli!"

"No, I bet it's J.R.!"

"You guys, this is none of our business." Taker said, though he got up to follow the guys. As they walked to room eighty-three they threw out more names including Jerry Lawler, Beth Phoenix, Edge, Chavo, Snitsky, and Mike Knox. At last the three arrived at the door.

"Well?" Ken pushed Jeff forward. "Knock."

"Why me?" Jeff complained.

"Oh, good grief!" Mark rolled his eyes and knocked on the door. The door opened and the three looked down in surprise.

"I didn't invite you guys!" The door slammed in their faces and they all turned to one another, simultaneously the three men burst out:

"Hornswoggle!"

_LOL, I thought of the my little pony thing and the room 83 thing while laying in bed trying to fall asleep last night. Hope it was lol-able. :D Reviews plz and thanks! ((hugs))_


	8. Chapter 8

_The Miz's Scarf part was inspired by Dark Kaneanite who left a review saying Miz looked like a hobo with the scarf he wore on ECW. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story so far, appreciate it a lot! Hopefully this chap will be lolable too. :D _

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 8: Miz's Scarf, Charades, Chat #2

"Miz, do you know how ridiculous you looked last week? You looked like you went shopping in a garbage can!" John Morrison snorted as he showed off his abs to the mirror. "Hi sexy, you look good." He winked at himself.

"I don't dumpster dive." Miz defended. "Are you referring to my scarf?"

"Yeah, it reminds me of Freddy from Scooby Doo with that stupid ascot thingy."

"At least I don't bedazzle my abs like a weird-o"

"What abs?" Morrison laughed.

Miz searched his locker while Morrison continued to strike poses in the mirror. The Miz became more frantic as what he was searching for could not be found. He pulled things out of his locker and tossed stuff here and there until the whole room was a mess.

"Why do you have Chavo's thong in your locker?" Morrison asked frowning down at the article.

"Why do you know that's Chavo's thong?" Miz grinned. Morrison just blushed and said nothing. "Damn it, I can't find my scarf!"

"Oh no!" Morrison dramatized by pressing a hand to his forehead and pretending to swoon. "The world is really going to end!"

"I have a solution. Come with me."

The Miz dragged Morrison out of the arena and into his rental car. Morrison tried to protest but Miz was having none of it. Miz drove until the two were in a pretty seedy part of town. Trash littered the streets, graffiti decorated the sidewalks and building, and bent, toothless, people pushed carts of junk up and down the streets.

"What are you doing?" Morrison asked cowering in his seat a bit. "This isn't such a great area…"

"I'm looking for a hobo with a scarf."

"What?"

"Oh! There!"

Miz swerved the car and it bumped up on a curb nearly running over a blind man who was panhandling. Morrison screamed like a girl and held tight to his seat. Miz had barely stopped the car and immediately flung the door open hitting a man on a bicycle.

"Sorry dude!" He apologized and ran around the other side of the car where Morrison dared to poke his head out. "Come here Johnny!"

John walked up to where Miz was crouching in the alley behind an over flowing, putrid smelling, dumpster.

"What in the hell--"

"Shhh!" Miz waved his hand around signaling Morrison to shut up. "You'll scare him…"

Miz had his gaze trained on a man slouched next to a trash can with a bottle wrapped in a paper bag clutched in his hand.

"Watch and learn." Miz whispered. He stepped out from behind the dumpster and strode up to the man with a smirk. "Hello sir, I was wondering if you would like to see a magic trick?"

The man mumbled something drunk and incoherent. Miz pulled a coin from the man's ear.

"Ooh, ah, amazing…right? I know, I know I am. I am the great Mizician!"

Miz pulled a stack of cards from his pocket and fanned them out.

"Pick a card any card, look at it then replace it."

The man mumbled something again incoherent.

"Good job, now I'll just…da-da-dee-dum…" Miz shuffled the cards around and drew out a random card and held it up. "Was this your card my fine sir?"

"Yeah, um…hm…dollar…whiskey."

"I'm not just amazing, I'm a-Miz-ing!"

John who was still crouched behind the dumpster watching the whole thing rolled his eyes.

"And for my last trick, I'll need your help sir. Let me see your super cool scarf, and I'll make it disappear right before your eyes, poof!"

The man fumbled with his scarf, finally got it untied, and handed it over. Miz bolted back to the car waving the scarf over his head triumphantly.

"Scarf dance!" He yelled as Morrison joined him and leaned against the car that was half way on the sidewalk. Miz started to do a very bizarre dance before ceremoniously tying the scarf around his neck. "That, John, is how The Miz gets his scarf."

After the show that night some of the superstars retire to the hotel and follow Triple H up to his room where he has promised a fun time.

"So, what are we doing Hunt?" Shawn asked reclining on the bed with his hands laced behind his head.

"Charades!" Paul Lavesque cheered while pumping his fist in the air. Half of the room groaned. "I'm going first. It's a movie." He held up two fingers indicating two words. He then started to rock his hips back and forth.

"Elvis!"

"Hips…"

"Sexy!"

"Humping?"

Triple H laughed and shook his head no to all of those words.

"Paul is an idiot!" JBL called out from the back. HHH scowled at him.

"I know!" Jeff cried triumphantly. "You're imitating my entrance!"

"Guys, he said it's a movie for crying out loud." Mark reminded them.

"Well they should make a movie about me." Jeff said and broke out in his entrance dance.

"That's it, dance!" William Regal spoke up. Triple H smiled and nodded.

"Dirty Dancing!" Matt called out joining Jeff in his performance.

"Yes!" Triple H clapped his hands together excitedly.

"I have one." Glen said pushing past people and going to the front of the room. He held up three fingers signaling three words. He pointed to his eye.

"Eye!" Shane McMahon yelled out eagerly. Kane nodded with a smirk curling his lips. He held his hand as though gripping something and moved his hand to and away from his mouth. Shane rubbed his chin thinking.

"Spoon?" JBL said. Glen turned his head left then right, no, it wasn't spoon.

"Eat!" Shane hopped up and down excitedly as Glen nodded again. "Eye eat…"

Glen tucked his hands under his armpits and flapped his elbows around while strutting around and bobbing his head. Mark bellowed laughter scaring those close to him.

"Freaking nutcase!" He hollered between laughs. Glen shook his head no.

"Chicken!" Ken Kennedy called out. Glen once again said no.

"Pecking…"

"No, it's hen!"

"Bird?"

"Rooster?"

"Cock!" Shane yelled. "I eat cock! I eat cock!"

"Well gee, you don't have to tell the whole roster." Glen said slapping Shane on the back. The young McMahon turned bright red as everyone in the room burst into laughter.

Later that night in a chat room

DarkLordTaker: I feel like no one appreciates me around here…(pouts and mopes)

BigRedMonsterUnderUrBed: I wuvs u

DarkLordTaker: No you don't, nobody loves me…(pouts and mopes some more)

TheGrandMizard: Hi guys! Did you like my scarf tonight?

IrishEyes: Sure, and do you know what else happened tonight? Kane's hair grew back!

DarkLordTaker: (snorts laughter) Thank you Finlay you cheered me up

IrishEyes: (grabs Taker's arm and attempts to dance Irish jig)

BigRedMonsterUnderUrBed: Wow, I'd pay to see you and Mark in the ring doing that

DarkLordTaker: (chokeslams Finlay)

IrishEyes: Hey! Why'd you chokeslam me!

DarkLordTaker: I can't be seen doing a happy little jig, I have a reputation to uphold!

TheGrandMizard: Yeah, The American Whiny-ass

DarkLordTaker: (tombstones Miz)

TheGrandMizard: It's okay, I still look good in my scarf :)

BigRedMonsterUnderUrBed: Erm, no…no u don't

UxCantxCxMe: Hi guys! Erm I hate to ask but I need some advice with the ladies

BigRedMonsterUnderUrBed: Well Miz is the only lady in here (giggity)

TheGrandMizard: Glen stop picking on me or I'll have to kick your Big Red Ass!

IrishEyes: Haha, Miz kicking Glen's arse? LMFAO

TheGrandMizard: It could happen

UxCantxCxMe: No really guys can anyone help?

IrishEyes: Here's some advise lad…it's not the size of your shillelagh that matters it's how you use it.

UxCantxCxMe: …?

BigRedMonsterUnderUrBed: (snickers)

DarkLordTaker: Good one Dave

TheGrandMizard: That so went over his head

UxCantxCxMe: O I get it ;)

DarkLordTaker: Do you really?

UxCantxCxMe: ….erm…

TheGrandMizard: (rotflmao)

BigRedMonsterUnderUrBed: (dances jig with Finlay)

DarkLordTaker: Eh, what the hell (dances jig with Glen and Dave)

_Don't try to hide it, I know you giggled. Heehee!_


	9. Chapter 9

_This is short but it's really funny. I was trying to go to sleep and please don't ask me why, I have no idea but this idea popped into my head. I could barely write it I was laughing so much. Oh yeah, and just a warning, it's nothing but absolute bathroom humor, so sorry if it grosses anyone out. If you don't like just skip this chap._

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 9: Jeff's Problem

Jeff Hardy sat down on the locker room bench holding his stomach and groaning. His insides were in great pain.

"Hey Jeff, what's wrong?" Shannon asked sitting down next to him.

"My stomach is killing me. I'm…" Jeff moaned. "Constipated."

Shannon tried to keep a straight face but what he really wanted to do was to fall on the floor laughing.

"Oh, well I know something that's sure to help with that." Shannon fought away the smirk that wanted to curl his lips.

"What, anything!"

"Jump up and down, it'll loosen things up."

Jeff considered.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course…or you could have an enema." Shannon snorted. Jeff shook his head no adamantly and hopped up off the bench and began jumping up and down, up and down, up and down.

"Is it helping man?"

"I don't think so…"

Shannon rubbed his chin in thought.

"Try hopping on one foot." He suggested.

"What? Why?"

"Dude, do you want to crap or not?"

Jeff sighed and tucked one leg up and bounced around the locker room on one foot. Triple H came in and stopped seeing Jeff. He leaned over to Shannon and whispered.

"Erm, what's he up to?"

"I'm just playing a joke on him…" Shannon whispered back and went on to explain. Triple H grinned evilly.

"Hey Jeff, you know what I do when I have problems such as these? I drink liquid soap. It slicks up the works."

Shannon bit the insides of his cheeks to keep from exploding in laughter.

"Are you sure?" Jeff asked still bobbing around on one foot. Triple H nodded and tossed Hardy a bottle of Dial hand soap. Jeff shrugged, unscrewed the lid, and poured some soap into his mouth while still jumping on one foot.

"Anything moving yet?" Triple H asked. Shannon had to leave the locker room because he was about to hyperventilate if he didn't let his laughter out.

"No. Not yet." Jeff said and hiccupped a few bubbles.

"Whoah, what the hell?" John Cena entered the locker room to find Jeff acting so bizarre. Triple H filled him in on the situation and the joke. Cena nodded and dug around in his locker.

"Here Jeff." He handed Jeff a knights helmet.

"What's—hic—that for?" Jeff said burping more bubbles. With all seriousness on his face, Cena leaned close to Jeff and whispered.

"It's my potty hat. I put it on when I go potty and it always makes the experience pleasant."

Now it was Triple H who could barely keep from braying laughter. How Cena kept a straight and serious face he really didn't know. Jeff put the knights helmet on and drank some more soap and continued to hop around on one foot.

"Guys…what the hell?" Glen was next to come into the locker room and look at Jeff totally confused. Cena and Triple H explained.

"Have a clog in your pipes?" Glen asked the hopping Hardy. He answered with a hiccup. "I always sing. It helps."

"What should I sing?" Jeff asked.

"Rudolph." Cena suggested. He and Triple H left and joined Shannon and updated The Reject on Jeff's condition. The three of them collapsed in the hallway laughing so hard they were crying.

"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer…hic!"

Matt Hardy walked into the locker room and stopped to stare at his brother. He blinked at him befuddled at his increasingly odd behavior. Jeff was jumping on one foot, his rainbow hair poked out from underneath a plummed helmet, in one hand he held a bottle of soap, foam and bubbles leaked from the opening of the helmet, and he was singing a children's Christmas carol at the top of his voice.

"What in the blue hell are you doing?" The older Hardy hollered over Jeff's atrocious singing and hiccupping.

"What the fuck does it look like! I'm trying to poop!"

_Lmbo, poor Jeffro. :D_


	10. Chapter 10

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 10: Chef Taker, Switcheroo?, Big Show Loses a Bet

Mark groaned as he entered the studio. He was to be the first victim of McMahon's newest venture. The man was constantly thinking of new ways to make even more money (as though he needed it) and he came up with the most ridiculous things ever. Mark re-read the email in his hand. Apparently every superstar and diva in the company had gotten one. McMahon was planning to do a cooking show, yes, a cooking show. Each week a new show would air featuring a meal prepared by a WWE diva or superstar.

"Okay, I'm here. What now?"

People bustled around the studio and someone brought him his ring gear and told him to change. Mark found a dressing room and changed into The Undertaker before walking out onto the set that was a nice sparkling kitchen.

"Did you bring your favorite recipe with you?" A man asked as a lady dabbed some powder onto his face which was in a deep scowl.

"Yep." Was his one word answer. The lady finished with powdering his nose and then left him behind the counter glaring into the camera.

Some dopey theme music played and a voice announced:

"WWE presents "Food With Fight". Today on "Food With Fight" we have The Undertaker who will show you viewers at home how to make his favorite dish."

The camera panned in on The Undertaker who grimaced and rolled his eyes. He reached under the counter and brought up a plate which he dropped with a clatter onto the counter top. That was followed by a package of bread which he plopped onto the counter. He opened the bag and pulled out a slice and held it up for the camera.

"Bread." He deadpanned and dropped the slice onto the plate. Next he reached under the counter and retrieved a jar and a spoon. He unscrewed the red cap, dug a glob of the contents out with the spoon, and held it up for the camera.

"Peanut butter." He said with not the slightest trace of emotion or inflection of the voice. He flung the blob onto the bread not even bothering to spread it around or smooth it. He reached into the bag and pulled out a second slice of bread. Once again he made sure the camera saw this.

"More bread." Taker said and dropped the second slice atop the first with the glob of peanut butter. He smashed the thing together with his fist and then held up the poor droopy thing.

"Sandwich." He pointed at his finished product. There was a long pause as people wondered what to do. He had just reduced a thirty minute cooking program into six words and five minutes. Finally the theme music played again signaling the premature end of the program.

"So, are you going to Mr. McMahon's Halloween party tonight?" Beth asked Glen as they walked out to the parking garage.

"Probably. Maybe I can drag Mark." Glen smiled rather evilly. "We had a really good time last year."

"Last year? Why wasn't I invited?" Beth pushed Glen playfully.

"You were. You kind of got wasted and passed out."

"Oh, oops." The blonde laughed. "My bad."

"It was funny. I convinced Mark that we should dress up as The Miz and Morrison."

"What?" Beth laughed just imagining. "Who was who?"

"Mark was Morrison. He hated every minute of it…I will have to admit the tight, jeweled, fur trimmed pants, matching coat, and sunglasses did make him look kind of…"

"Gay?" Beth tried.

"Yeah, that was it." Glen laughed along with the diva. Mark had scowled and pouted the whole time and he looked absolutely hilarious. "I looked pretty hot in the fedora though, if I may say so myself."

"What are you going to be this year?" Beth pulled her keys from her purse and jangled them as the two drew closer to her car.

"I don't know…we have a few hours until the party we'll just do something last minute probably."

A smirk crossed the divas pretty face and she stopped Glen by grabbing his arm.

"I have an idea. Meet me at my room when you get to the hotel." With that, Beth climbed into her car and sped off to the hotel.

Beth and Glen arrived at the party. Glen adjusted his costume feeling a bit awkward. He had protested at Beth's idea at first…but you don't protest Beth Phoenix very long. You give her what she wants. That was why Glen found himself in a silvery costume that resembled that of Beth's in ring wear complete with the Diva's Champion belt. He even wore a platinum blonde wig (that kept falling to the side) and a Beth Phoenix-like tiara. However, there was more. Beth did his make up too. It was really quite funny especially with what Beth was wearing.

Beth had the brilliant idea that she and Glen should dress as each other for the Halloween party. Beth wore Kane wrestling tights, black boots, and a flesh colored bra so she resembled a shirtless Kane. Her blonde hair was tucked away in a rubber cap thingy that made her look bald. She even tried to mimmick Kane's sadistic sneer and she actually managed the look pretty well.

"This shit rides up too much." Glen said picking at his butt.

"Stop it, Beth Phoenix would never dig her crack in public!" Beth flicked his arm.

"Oh, so you only dig your crack in private?" Glen snickered.

"Shut up!" She rolled her eyes.

"No, the eye roll is Mark's thing."

"Hi guys!" Vince (who was dressed up like Superman) walked towards the two. As he neared, his brow drew together in confusion. "Hey, didn't you know this was a costume party?"

"Of course we did." Said Beth as she tilted her head down and tried to give McMahon her best Kane look.

"But…you didn't dress up. I mean couldn't you come up with something other than your gimmick Glen?"

Beth's Kane scowl morphed into the real deal as she realized McMahon was looking right at her but calling her Glen.

"You idiot! I'm Beth dressed as Kane, and that's Glen dressed as Glamazon!"

Vince did a double take and peered closer at the two. His cheeks colored red.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I honestly didn't notice. You guys just looked the same as usual."

"You're saying that I look like a freaking cross dressed man!" Beth yelled loud enough to draw looks from people all around the room. Beth let out a frustrated yell and stormed out of the room.

"Great, I pissed her off." Vince's shoulders slumped and he sulked off leaving Glen adjusting his blonde wig.

"Hey…" The big man thought to himself. "Does that mean he thinks I look like a big bald woman?"

Around two in the morning three men entered the hotel on their way back from McMahon's Halloween party. Two were laughing and pawing at each other and one was scowling.

"You lost the bet!" Curt Hawkins squealed as he pointed to Paul "Big Show" Wight. Zach Ryder squawked laughter and wiped tears from his eyes.

"I know, I know!" Show grumped as he stomped into the lobby. "So what do I have to do? Let's just get this over with!"

Show stopped in the lobby and crossed his arms over his huge chest. Curt and Zach exchanged glances. They had set him up for this knowing he would lose. It had only been a matter of time and waiting and now they were going to get to see possibly the funniest thing anyone has ever seen Big Show do.

"Oh, it's not a big deal." Zach smirked.

"You just have to sing a song." Said Curt with a shrug.

Big Show narrowed his eyes at the other two.

"That's all?"

"Well, you have to do the gestures that go with it." Zach put in while Curt giggled like a little girl.

"Gestures? What is it the Macarena?"

"I'm A Little Teapot!" Curt burst out and the two guys nearly fell on each other laughing so hard. Show's eyes grew wide. "You have to sing it three times."

"Are you serious? I'm not doing that stupid little--"

"You lost the bet!" Zach reminded him. Show rolled his eyes and uncrossed his arms. Grumbling to himself he put his hand on his hip making one arm look like a handle and he held his other arm up bending it at the elbow and then laying his hand out so he now resembled a little—well a not so little—tea pot with a handle and spout.

"Guys, do I really have to?"

"Yes!" Both guys squealed.

"If anyone else finds out about this I will sit on both of you and squash the life out of you!"

"Just sing!" Curt yelled. Show sighed and reluctantly began.

"Oh, I'm a little teapot…"

"Louder!" Zach called.

"In falsetto, this has to be good Paul!" Curt wiped at his teary eyes. Show growled and started over in a high pitched voice.

"Oh, I'm a little teapot short and stout! Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up I just shout! Tip me over and pour me out!" With that Show bent to the side pretending to 'tip over and pour'. Curt held his sides as he brayed laughter and Zach actually fell to the floor. Show started the song again. "I'm a little teapot short and stout…" He stopped seeing Curt holding something in his hand. "Hey, what the hell!"

"Keep…going!" Zach snorted as he pounded his fists on the floor.

"Is that a cell phone? You are not freaking recording this!" Show boomed. Zach scrambled up to his feet and Curt turned to flee the scene. As the two tried to run off Show stormed after them.

"This is so going on Youtube!" Curt shouted to Zach. Show stomped down the hallway and yelled after the two.

"Only if you can dig it out of your ass, because that's where I'm going to shove it!"

_Lmao, Show doing I'm A Little Teapot, that's too much! Reviews plz and thankies! ((hugs))_


	11. Chapter 11

_Sorry for lag in the update of basically all of my fics. Some of them I have just ran in to terrible writers block. The others my only excuse is that I have been sick and bombarded with school. If any readers of this are also keeping up with 'Discovering Love' I want to apologize too because I promised another chapter last week I think and I've been sick so that didn't happen. That will teach me to ever promise something again. Lol I'm really sorry. Actually I wasn't planning on updating Silly Style tonight either but as I was laying in bed trying to sleep this came to me. With such thoughts as these running through my head it is no wonder I have insomnia most nights! _

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 11: Philosophical Underground

"It's time we had some serious conversation around here. All we do are strange things that make sense to no one but us and sometimes they don't even make sense to us. If we're not doing random weird things we will probably be found a)partying, b) drinking, c) pulling pranks, 4) partying, 5) in bed with someone or someones, 6) possibly sleeping, 7) partying, 8) all of the above." Said Jillian as she looked around the room of random superstars who had gathered for her meeting.

"That's confusing…you started out listing with letters then switched to numbers." Glen pointed out. Jillian glared at him.

"Well I'm sorry. I'll use Power Point next time."

There were some sniggers from the group and Glen shut his mouth.

"Anyway, that's why I've made this secret society. It is a society to--"

Jillian was again interrupted this time by Batista.

"What's the name of the society?"

"I don't know, I suppose we could have a vote." Jillian scratched her head.

"I've got one!" Shawn Michael's called out. "The Secret Society of Secret Stuff!" He grinned wildly like an overly pleased child.

"I have something better. It's supposed to be a sort of philosophy group so I think we should call it The Society of Why The Hell is Shawn in a Society that Requires Actual Thinking'?"

At this comment from John Morrison there were a few snorts and louder laugher. Shawn thought for a moment before shaking his head dismissively.

"No, that's way too long. People would never remember it."

"Ah, we could call it The Great Philosophy of Chris Jericho. Jerichosohpy, it has a nice ring to it. Come to this group and Chris Jericho will wear glitter and tell you all sorts of philosophical irrelevancies! You will learn to think like the true greatness that is I Chris Jericho!" Chris stood up puffing up dramatically as those around him shook their heads or raised their eyebrows.

"Chris, this is not your group." Jillian pointed out. Batista nudged Triple H who was sitting next to Jericho who still stood like a proud statue ready to be worshipped.

"Tell him it's not about him. You have to remind him and he'll sit down." Batista whispered.

"Chris, it's not about you." Hunter said tugging on Jericho's pants leg. Jericho blinked down at him seeming not to comprehend.

"Of course it is…everything is…"

"No it's not, it's not about you. It's nooot about youuuu." The other man repeated slowly. Chris blinked dazed by the strange thought that perhaps something was not at all about him. If that was true, then what could it be about? What else could be as awe inspiring and amazing as he? Hunter tugged on his pants again and repeated the strange sentence again and again slowly until Chris sank back to his seat lost in perplexity at the thought.

"Anyway…" Jillian continued with an eye roll. "We'll just call it something easy…'Philosophy Underground'."

"PU?" JBL brayed laughter at the acronym.

"It sounds like a cult or something." Randy Orton shuddered. Mark waved his hand around crazily like a hyper student in an elementary class.

"Ooh, ooh! I wanna be cult leader please can I please!"

The room was once again filled with laughter and Jillian's attempt to lead her philosophy group was derailed once more. She sighed and tried to continue on when the laughter quieted a bit.

"So, what are we going to talk about first?"

The room was silent as superstars and divas picked their brains for anything deep and meaningful.

"Butter?" Shawn tried. He was greeted with strange glances and mumbled to himself. "No, that's no good."

"Sorry I'm late!" The thoughtful group was interrupted by Mike Mizanin who bounded into the room with all the excitement of a frantic puppy who goes berserk greeting its owner. "Cool, is this like a club and stuff? Do we have secret handshakes? Are girls allowed? We should make a tree house! We can make up a secret language! We can be like the CIA!"

Miz bounced around the room excitedly rambling as the others produced looks of confusion, amusement, or aggravation.

"The CIA? What does that have to do with anything?" JBL asked.

"Well I have it on good authority that the CIA secretly meets in a secret tree house which is in a secret tree in an undisposed location!" Miz chattered dancing around and fidgeting enough to drive a few of the people to grind their teeth.

"Don't you mean undisclosed?" Beth Phoenix tried to correct.

"No, they're clothed."

"What she means is…" Triple H thought about explaining but then thought better of it. "Never mind."

"We are not the CIA. We are PU." Jillian said proudly.

"Well if you stink then take a shower." Miz stated. Glen and Mark cracked up laughing. Miz sank onto a couch and then started to bob up and down on it excitedly obviously unable to keep still.

"Philosophy Underground." Jillian corrected. "What's up with you Mike? You're either moping or running around like a decapitated chicken."

"Decaffeinated chicken?" Miz narrowed his eyes at her. "I think you made that up."

"Decapitated." Jillian repeated. "You're like bipolar or something I swear, and obviously hard of hearing."

"I'm not bipolar, I'm tripolar."

"That's impossible." JBL said. "Will you please stop bouncing you're driving me out of my mind!"

"Short drive." Batista muttered and JBL scowled at the younger man.

Miz complied for a moment but then started to do some other sort of fidgety behavior.

"Stop bouncing!"

"I'm not bouncing I'm bobbing. And it is not impossible to be tripolar because I am."

"Bouncing and bobbing is the same thing." Said Hunter. "And JBL is right. You couldn't be tripolar because a pole is an opposite and if you have one thing there is only one other opposite of it which is its pole. Like the North and South poles."

"That's not right, something can have more than one opposite!" Miz argued.

"Not exactly an exact polar opposite. It's different. It's like two ends of a spectrum."

"Why can't the spectrum have three ends?"

All eyes were now turned on Triple H and Miz who were debating about poles and spectrums and such.

"Because a spectrum is like a line and a line only has two ends."

"No, a line is infinite." Matt Hardy jumped in. "What you mean is a segment. A segment has two ends but a line has no ending it goes on and on indefinitely. Didn't any of you guys pass high school geometry?"

"How can that be? Where did the line begin? It had to have some point of origin." JBL mused rubbing his chin.

"Okay, the segment. Whatever, it can only have two poles." Triple H waved his hand around annoyed at the interruptions.

"I don't know, why couldn't he be tripolar? I'm trisexual." Shane McMahon blurted out. Now all eyes turned on him. "W-what?"

"That's also impossible." Katie Lea said. "You can't be trisexual you are either attracted to one sex or both."

"You could be nonsexual. You could be attracted to neither gender." Kelly Kelly pointed out.

"No that just means you need to see a doctor because your parts are malfunctioning." Jeff Hardy laughed and Matt nudged him.

"Actually, nonsexual would mean you have no sex wouldn't it?" Finlay asked. "See, you can't be nonsexual can ya? Could you be born void of any sex at all?"

"That's not the point. We're not talking about gender we're talking about sexual preference and so you could prefer one, both, or neither sex but there is no way you could be trisexual because there are only two genders." Paul Wight explained and tried to steer everyone back to Katie's point.

"What about people who are in between genders…you know like they're getting changed but they're not all the way there yet? Or what if they are physically one gender but feel like they are the other? They are in between so isn't that a third category? So If I will have sex with anything humanoid regardless if it has male anatomy, female anatomy, or a little of both then that would make me trisexual. Ha, I told you so." Shane waved his finger around triumphantly making his point.

"I don't believe in that. There's no in between. You are what you are born as so if some guy has some boobs along with his original works I don't see him as an in between third gender. He's a dude with boobs, but still a dude." Batista said. "So I don't think you can be trisexual because I don't think a person can be a third gender."

"But you just said the guy is a guy with boobs so therefore he is in between genders. In that case how do you define a person who is in between genders? You, Batista, wanted to define them by whatever they were born with but how do you know that wasn't a mistake? You could just as easily define them as the gender they feel or the gender they are working towards but not both genders or not a nongender. That would still make the third gender issue void because they would be categorized as either one or the other. A third state would not exist. It would just be a matter of which gender are you going to define them as…or can you? So maybe there is a third gender which would mean male is not the polar opposite of female but that there are three options to gender which would make Shane correct in saying he is trisexual. Therefore Mike would also be correct to theorize that a spectrum could have three ends which would invalidate Triple H's assertion that a pole can only have one opposite which would support Mike's claim that he is tripolar." Mark, of all people, said this to the group. Most of them nodded or crunched their eyes in thought. Shawn Michael's looked hopelessly lost and Chris was still dazed that this meeting was not about him in any way, shape, or form. There was one more person in the room who looked very perplexed. Gradually all eyes turned to him.

"Cena, what do you think about all of this?" Jillian asked with a smile.

Poor Cena looked not only confused but terrified at all the big words, theories, and odd thoughts that were being thrown around. He finally shrugged and made a startling confession.

"I was just here for the brownies. Someone said you guys had brownies."

_Reviews plz and thanks. Sorry hope this wasn't too heavy...lol. I can't believe I just wrote this at like 1 in the morning. Lmao._


	12. Chapter 12

_Yes I poke fun at fan fic writers in this update. Hope you enjoy!_

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 12: Technical Difficulties, Discovering Slash, Golden Girls vs. Meatblob

Even though the first episode had not gone as planned McMahon decided he still liked the idea of WWE having a cooking show so he decided to try again. He thought with tonight's guest he had found someone who would do better than The Undertaker making a peanut butter sandwich. So, as was scheduled the program began taping live and Vince only hoped that this time things would go better.

"Tonight on the WWE's very own cooking program, 'Food With Fight' we have with us good ol' Jim Ross."

The camera panned out to show J.R. standing behind the counter in his usual cowboy hat and attire.

"Good evening and welcome to 'Food With Fight'." J.R. said. "I've been asked to make my favorite dish tonight and you all know what that means. Oklahoma barbeque!"

J.R. reached under the counter and brought up a bottle of sauce.

"Now, the secret's in the sauce. I guarantee you, if you go and get some of my special sauce people will be on your barbeque like flies on sh—well…maybe that's not a good analogy."

The camera panned in on the bottle of J.R.'s special sauce.

"But the first thing you really need to do to make a lip smackin' finger lickin' slobber knockin' barbeque is to get the right kind of meat. It has to be fresh."

J.R. disappeared off camera for a moment and came back into the picture with a rope tied around his hand.

"I'm going to make pulled pork barbeque. So, here's my pork."

J.R. pulled on the rope and dragged in a squealing and snorting hog. The camera men and crew began to look at each other nervously. J.R. rummaged in a drawer and pulled out a long knife.

"Y'see this is the first step to makin' some good ol' barbeque. It might be kind of noisy what with the hog squealing and it might be a little messy so you might not want to do this in your kitchen. Just when you do it it's like your mama pulling off a band-aid, do it quick and it won't hurt so much." J.R. raised the knife above his head. The crew began to grow frantic and someone stepped in front of the camera and drew his hand across his throat in a 'cut' motion. Just as J.R. was bringing the knife down the camera went to black and a message played across the screen: Please excuse us we are experiencing technical difficulties.

"Hey Mark, what are you doing?" Glen peered over Mark's shoulder, a habit the older man found annoying.

"Fan fiction. Have you ever read this stuff?" Mark replied as he scanned over some writing. His face twisted up into a look of disgust and he closed the story.

"No, what's it all about? It's just a bunch of people who have too much time on their hands writing about me right?"

Mark raised an eyebrow and watched Glen untie his shoes.

"Why would they spend all their time writing about you?"

"Because I'm awesome." Glen replied with a 'psh!' as though of course everyone knows that he is amazing.

"Some of the fic's are interesting but…I think most of these people are some kind of sick-o's or something."

"You know what they say Mark. It takes one to know one." Glen smirked.

"Fine, you can rib me all you want but you haven't read any of this stuff." Mark frowned and turned back to the computer ignoring Glen when he tried to ask more questions. That was a bad idea because the bald man just came back to reading over Mark's shoulder.

"I don't see anything wrong with this. It's about Shawn and Paul."

"It's slash."

"So…they get killed. That could be nice actually." Glen rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"No not slash as in 'slasher'."

"Well then what does it mean? It's not me chasing DX around while wearing a ski mask and wielding a machete and finger knives?"

"Um…well I don't know I haven't read one like that yet but I think with these people and their imaginations anything is possible. Glen, slash is…well Shawn and Paul are more than just friends."

"Oh, I see." Glen pondered for a moment. "Well I guess that's not so bad. Are you homophobic Mark?"

"No, or else I wouldn't allow you around."

Glen smacked Mark in the back of the head and they both had a chuckle.

"So then I don't get what's so freaky about this stuff."

"It's…detailed." Mark got up from his seat and let Glen take it over so he could find out for himself. Now it was Mark who was doing the reading over the shoulder but he didn't find that annoying at all.

"Hunter ran a hand over Shawn's ass before pushing him to the bed. It had been too long since he had a piece of it. Shawn tangled his hands in Hunter's blonde locks pulling him closer and causing their lips to crash together. Their tongues fought for dominance in hungry mouths. Hands roamed bodies that became slicked with sweat as they both got hotter and hotter. Shawn moved his hands over Hunter's tight muscles and downwards until they found the growing bulge between his legs. Shawn opened Hunter's fly and pulled out his throbbing…" Glen trailed off.

"That's enough to give you nightmares and that's not even half of it. Jeff Hardy and CM Punk, John Cena and Batista, Matt Hardy and Edge."

"Wait a minute, do these people even notice who's feuding with who?"

"Everyone is everyone's lover. I mean, that's all we do is have sex so it seems. I mean it's wrestling fiction you'd think it would be about wrestling right? It's about deviant sex. That's what it is!" Mark crossed his tattooed arms over his chest and scowled disapprovingly at the computer.

"Well deviant sex is not always a bad thing." Glen mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing." Glen felt his cheeks starting to burn red.

"You don't think it's that bad still? Well okay, I didn't want to have to bust this out but here it goes. I'll show ya."

Mark leaned over Glen and scrolled through stories until he clicked on one. After the story summary were two names: Mark and Glen. These two names were followed by that one disturbing word….SLASH!

"Us?" Glen cracked up laughing at the mere thought. He clicked on a chapter and started to read. "Glen fisted his hands in Mark's dark hair as the older man swirled his tongue around Glen's…head." Glen's laughter died down and with the heat in his face he figured he was now living up to his nickname 'The Big Red Machine.' He continued on reading. "Glen moaned as Mark caressed his member expertly. 'Fuck me Mark, oh baby fuck me!' Glen gasped. Mark raised his head and smiled seductively and then slowly ran his tongue over his lips which only made Glen groan again. 'Okay baby, I'm coming.' Mark spit in his hand making lube and…he…thrust in…to…the tightness of Glen's…ass."

Glen quickly closed the fic and shivered. He suddenly realized Mark was still leaning over his shoulder and suddenly he felt way too close to the older man.

"Get away from me…"

"I told you. Disturbing. Why would people write that crap about us?"

"Maybe you act gay in public." Glen shrugged. "Maybe I act gay in public?"

"Glen! I have never nor will I ever act gay in public."

"Just in private?" Glen smirked.

"I am not that way." Mark growled. "You on the other hand maybe I should worry about."

"Like you said earlier Mark…" Glen rose from his chair and made Mark very uncomfortable by coming nearly nose to nose with him. Mark backed away until the backs of his legs hit the bed and Glen pushed him back onto it. "Take's one to know one. That's what you said earlier wasn't it?"

"No, you said it."

"Oh, oh well. What do you say hmmm Mark?" Glen growled seductively as he crawled on top of his bewildered friend.

"What in the hell do you think you're doing!" Mark shoved Glen backwards and the big man toppled off the bed with a crash. He sat up like Kane out of sheer habit and rubbed the back of his bare head. "Ow."

Mark grabbed a pillow and held it in front of him as some sort of shield against unwanted male contact.

"Why did you do that? Don't ever do that again you idiot! You better tell me you were just yanking me around!"

"Well I didn't get that far."

"That's not what I meant. Glen, get out of here now before I spew vomit at you!"

"Fine, I can tell when I'm not wanted." Glen made a big show over pouting as he picked himself up from the floor and made his way to the door. Before leaving he gave one last smirk to a confused and frightened Mark. "If you change your mind, you know where to find me. I'll be in my room…finishing reading that fan fic."

Meanwhile Paul Levesque walked into the room he was sharing with Shawn. He shook his head when he saw Shawn sitting in front of the tv and as always he was way to close to it. Paul just knew that boy was going to ruin his eyes. Shawn didn't seem to even notice that Paul had come in. He just sat in front of the tv in his pink pajama's complete with feet in them and a button flap on the butt.

"Shawn, what are you watching?" Paul squinted at the tv screen and grimaced when he saw what it was.

"Duh Paulie, I'm watching The Golden Girls! Now hush, Bea Arthur is about to say something sarcastic!"

"Shawn, I want to watch Adult Swim! Aqua Teen Hunger Force is on!" Hunter complained as he flopped onto the bed.

"You think a talking meatball is more important that this?" Shawn waved his hand at the four elderly women bickering on tv.

"He's not a meatball, he's a Meatwad!"

"Whatever." Shawn pressed a button on the tv and turned the volume up to thwart Paul's attempt to argue with him about his choice of program.

"It's new tonight! I want to see what Shake is up to!" Paul whined.

"Go to McDonald's. Ba-da bap-ba-ba I'm lovin' it!" Shawn mimicked the jingle.

"I'm not lovin' it. You and your senile old bats on the tube, what's so great about that?" Hunter darted towards the tv intent on changing the channel but Shawn leaped in the way his eyes wide in terror.

"Nope! I will not let this happen! My Golden Girls will not be sacrificed so you can watch Meatblob!" Shawn shouted over the canned laughter that came from the tv in response to Dorothy talking about her sex life.

"It's Meatwad…say it with me Shawn Meat and then Wad. Meatwad!"

"You are a grown man wanting to watch a hunk of chopped and mangled animal flesh and a milkshake with hands! Milkshake's do not have appendages and if they did then…well they don't!"

"That's right. I'm the sick-o here aren't I?" Paul huffed. "I mean a woman well old enough for a senior discount and AARP talking about her sex life isn't disturbing at all is it. No, that' just good wholesome entertainment! How you find that to be even slightly amusing is beyond me! It's more like sickening!"

"If you were my real friend you wouldn't say mean things about The Golden Girls." Shawn's blue eyes welled up with tears and his lip poked out and began to quiver. "If you cared you'd let me watch it. If you loved me you would! What kind of person are you taking me away from my lovely ladies?" Shawn hugged the tv and stroked the top of it affectionately. Paul's shoulders sank and he sighed defeated.

"Ok…you're right Shawn."

Shawn burst into a huge grin and threw himself onto Paul in a hug.

"Yeah, right. It was nice of me. Remember that." Paul smirked. Shawn began to turn back to his program but stopped for a moment.

"Hey Paul?"

"Yeah Shawn?"

"Thank you for being a friend!"

"No prob."

"Travel down the road and back again!" Shawn sang the words of The Golden Girls theme song. "Your heart is true you're a pal and a confidant! Thank you for being a friiieeeeend!"

"Shut up and watch the show before I change my mind." Paul grumbled.

_Was it lolable? Like it hate it don't care? Lemme know whatcha think! Peace and love!_


	13. Chapter 13

_Thank you for your reviews of chapters 11 and 12. Thanks goes out to BellaHickenbottom, LCHime, iNdy MiLk, The Vampire Lucinda, Divine Arion, Dark Kaneanite, Painelust, and cenalova-54-8284. Hugs!_

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 13: Picking on Mark, Yummy Protein Shake, Chat 3

Mark searched his room frantically throwing clothes and items this way and that. How could he have misplaced his Undertaker coat? A long, black, coat is not easily overlooked and he was sure it was nowhere in the room. He slapped himself in the forehead, there were so many places he could have left it although he thought he remembered folding it up in his duffel bag. Did he leave it in the locker at the last show? Mark rubbed his goatee thinking it over once again. He was sure he had not misplaced it. That only left one other option. Someone had hijacked his coat, and when he found that someone he was going to go nuts on their dumb ass.

Mark stormed down the hallway banging on doors. When the lucky person opened the door they were interrogated about the whereabouts of Taker's jacket. In some cases, the inhabitant of the room was even threatened. Bang, bang, bang!

Glen knew an angry knock when he heard one. He strutted to the door with a smirk on his face and put his eye to the peephole. His smirk grew into a full fledged grin when he saw the agitated green eyes looking back at him. Glen opened the door just enough to poke his head out.

"Yeah? What's up M?"

"It's you isn't it. You have it."

Mark stuck his hand out and wiggled his fingers in a 'give it here' gesture.

"What?" Glen asked innocently. "I don't get it, what do you want?" Glen opened the door further, revealing that he was wearing the object of Mark's search. Glen popped the collar up and sent Mark a look that could only be called dark and sexy. He ran his tongue along his lip and winked at a now red-faced Mark.

"What do you think?" Glen growled seductively.

"You know what I need!" Mark barked back as answer.

"Yeah, I do. I know exactly what you need." Glen bit his lower lip and winked at Mark. "Me."

"My coat Glen." Mark tried once more. "Give it back."

Glen shrugged as though he had thought about it and didn't really care to give the coat back. He sauntered away from the half opened door and sprawled out on the bed in a pose. Mark pushed past the door but stopped in mid stride when he saw Glen reclining back on the pillows in a pose.

"What the hell is up with you?" Mark shook his head and continued to advance on the younger man. "Give me my shit before I tear you a new asshole boy."

"What's up with me? Oh, I think you know." Glen glanced obviously down at his crotch and then brought his gaze back up to Mark who was looking more and more uncomfortable. Glen rolled off the bed and walked over to Mark until he was nearly nose to nose with the other man. He pressed a finger to Mark's chest and the other man actually flinched. His nervousness was growing each second. Glen trailed his finger slowly downwards until he hit Mark's belt buckle. He tugged at the buckle a bit and whispered. "And if you want to tear me a new asshole, feel free to do so."

Mark shuddered and stepped back from Glen so quickly he tripped over his feet and fell on his ass. Glen nearly lost it, a laugh welled up inside but with much effort he managed to hold it back.

"Glen…I-I need my coat back." Mark picked himself up and he looked so confused and afraid that Glen almost wanted to tell him he was just teasing…almost. But Glen was having too much fun.

"Well," He sighed beginning to unbutton the long black trench in a strip-tease fashion. "If you insist…but I'm not wearing anything underneath." He slid open a third button and moved the lapels apart to show his naked chest.

"Keep it!" Mark said before fleeing the room. Glen shut the door behind Mark and then stumbled over to his bed doubled over and crying with fits of laughter. He took off the coat and tossed it aside, he had shorts underneath the whole time. Glen collapsed onto his bed in near hysterics. It was so freaking fun to pick on Mark!

Despite having two failed attempts at the cooking show 'Food With Fight' McMahon refused to give it up. Mark and J.R. had not gotten the show very good ratings, but McMahon was certain his next superstar would pull through.

"Now Dave, I'm counting on you."

"I think I can give you the ratings you're looking for. The ladies want to see The Animal every chance they can, and the guys want to be me. So learning how to make a Batista protein shake, and get some ripped muscles like this--" Batista paused to flex his chest muscles up and down. "Yep, learning my secret protein shake recipe should draw the male crowd."

Vince clapped Batista on the shoulder and was glad someone was finally taking this seriously. The theme of the show played and then all cameras were on Batista who stood shirtless behind the counter flexing his chest muscles and giving his best sexy smile to the camera.

"Tonight on 'Food With Fight' The Animal is going to show you how to make his favorite protein shake. Yep, I'm letting you in on the secret." Dave winked at the camera and pointed to a blender that sat in front of him. "First, you need one of these babies. Now, we start by using two raw eggs." Batista dropped the eggs into the blender without even cracking them open. "I like the crunchiness." He offered as an explanation. He pulled a few things from under the counter. "Next we use a can of sardines, some coffee beans, a package of fermented whale blubber, a banana peel, pickled pigs feet, crow gizzards, testicles of a newt, ha, I guess he's a transsexual now." Batista dumped all of those things into the blender as gagging sounds were heard off camera. "A teaspoon of Tabasco sauce, a handful of worms, they're best if you buy them from Boogeyman, half a bottle of J.R.'s BBQ sauce…" Batista dumped some of the red sauce into the blender then shrugged and dumped some more of it in. "Maybe a whole bottle. You can do it to taste. Then we have a fish head, you can find these at your local sushi bar, a cup of Ramen noodles, some clam juice, an onion, corn husks, and a vile of chicken blood."

More gagging and retching sounds filled the room, but they were soon usurped by the sound of the blender as it blended the nasty concoction noisily. Dave held the button down until the stuff was to a chunky consistency. He pulled the blender from the stand and filled a glass with the globby, brownish colored liquid. A man with cue cards dashed in front of the cameras looking green and pressing a hand to his mouth.

"Shut it off!" Vince barked in the background.

"Enjoy!" Batista smiled and downed some of the horrible mixture. The show went to commercial, and in millions of homes, people ran to their bathrooms sick to their stomachs.

Rainbow Rabbit: Hi peeps!

DarkLordTaker: Hi Jeff

MyAbsRBetter: Hello

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: Sup

HxToxThexThird: I know, let's all say hi to Jeff!

HeartbreakKitten: Welcome Rainbow Rabbit!

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: So guess what I did to Taker today…lol *gives evil grin*

MyAbsRBetter: No one cares

DarkLordTaker: Glen don't even go there

Rainbow Rabbit: Hey I was thinking…

HxToxThexThrid: Oh noes! Hardy was thinking!!! *gasp!*

Rainbow Rabbit: I do once in a while…so I was thinking if you could be a dog what kind of dog would you be?

HxToxThexThird: I'd be a corndog…with ketchup.

MyAbsRBetter: Don't you mean catsup?

HxToxThexThrid: No, KETCHUP

MyAbsRBetter: Catsup

HxToxThexThird: KETCHUP…c-a-t-s-u-p spells Cats Up

MyAbsRBetter: Catsup catsup catsup catsup catsup catsup catsup catsupcatsupcatsupcatsupcatsup

Rainbow Rabbit: *ignores pointless bickering of Morrison and Tripsy* So Taker what kind of dog would you be?

DarkLordTaker: A Mastiff! I love Mastiffs. :)

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: You love My Stiff? I knew you did Marky…

DarkLordTaker:…

HeartbreakKitten: Mastiffs are really big dogs aren't they?

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: Yes My Stiff is a really big dog. ;) He can do lots of tricks too

DarkLordTaker has signed off

HxToxThexThrid has signed off

MyAbsRBetter has signed off

Rainbow Rabbit: Hey! Where are you all going!!!! :(

HeartbreakKitten: Glen scared them all away

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: LMAO I bet Mark is going to have nightmares

Rainbow Rabbit: So Glen, what type of dog would you want to be?

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: I'm a hybrid species. Clifford The Big Red Dog meets Kujo

Rainbow Rabbit: Sweet! LOL it's very fitting for Kane

Rainbow Rabbit: What about you Shawn?

HeartbreakKitten: I want to be one of those insanely fluffy itty bitty white dogs with the teary eyes, curly tail, and with a pink rhinestone collar :D

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: Why the hell would you want to be a foo-foo dog?

Rainbow Rabbit: LMAO! Glen, picture Shawn with huge teary eyes and a pink rhinestone collar!

HeartbreakKitten: You two can laugh all you want but those are the kinds of dogs all the women ooh and ah over. I'd get a lot of petting if I was that type of dog. ;)

HeartbreakKitten has signed off

BigRedMonsterUnderMyBed: So Jeff what kind of dog would you be then?

Rainbow Rabbit: I'd be a ferret

_Read and review please! Lol, I don't know why but if Jeff was an animal I could actually see him being a ferret, lol. I hope you all enjoyed this chappy. :D love to all! By the way did anyone get the line when Batista said 'testicles of a newt, ha, I guess he's a transsexual now?' it's from a movie._


	14. Chapter 14

_Thank you to my lovely readers and reviewers including (drumroll please!): takers dark lover, BellaHickenbottom, Divine Arion (props for knowing that the line 'testicles of a newt…' is from Robin Hood Men in Tights), iNdy MiLk, ShadowCat361, Dark Kaneanite, and TheVampireLucinda. _

_Warning: This chapter is really random and kind of erm…weird thanks to JBL enjoy and laugh till it hurts!!! :D_

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 14: Chat #4

ChickMagnet: Hey!!! Did you guys hear what happened?

DarkLordTaker: Oh you mean Hunter chasing squirrels again?

HeartbreakKitten: No I think he means with Glen's eye

DarkLordTaker: ???

JustaBigLover: It was Jericho's fault...he's a dumbass

HeartbreakKitten: It's always Chris!

JustaBigLover: Because he's a dumbass

ChickMagnet: Yeah it was hilarious though! I was there! Chris stuck a Tootsie Roll up his nose teehee!

DarkLordTaker: *groans* How many times do we have to explain to Chris about sticking random candy into random body orifices?

JustaBigLover: Remember when he put Pop Rocks up his ass?

HeartbreakKitten: O_o

DarkLordTaker: ???

ChickMagnet: I think John made that up…

JustaBigLover: No we were all there!

HeartbreakKitten: I think you were high and imagined it…ew…that's freaky

ChickMagnet: Aaaanyway, Chris stuck a Tootsie Roll up his nose and then he couldn't get it out

DarkLordTaker: Hence the reason we do not stick things into our nostrils

JustaBigLover: Hence the reason Chris is a dumbass

ChickMagnet: Then Cena was trying to help him get it out and he kept saying "Blow Chris, you have to blow really hard, blow harder!"

HeartbreakKitten: rofl!

DarkLordTaker: wow

ChickMagnet: It gets better! Glen came in at that exact moment and was like "What the hell???" and he just sat down and started unlacing his boots when Chris started crying that it was going to go to his brain

RainbowRutabega has signed on

RainbowRutabega: Hi guys!!!!

HeartbreakKitten: Jeff!

ChickMagnet: What perfect timing because I was about to say, then Jeff came in!

RainbowRutabega: Oh are you talking about Chris getting a candy lodged in his nose?

ChickMagnet: Exactly!

RainbowRutabega: It was freaking hilarious. I came in and Chris is blubbering about it and so I go "Just blow it out dude" and he goes "I've been trying, it doesn't work, look!"

ChickMagnet: Here comes the good part!

JustaBigLover: Then shut up and let's hear it *clamps hand over Miz's mouth*

ChickMagnet: *Bites JBL's hand*

JustaBigLover: You know Mizzy, being bitten is not necessarily a bad thing *wink*

ChickMagnet: EeEeEw *takes fedora off head and throws up in it*

RainbowRutabega: AHEM!

RainbowRutabega: SO ANYWAY…Chris pinched one side of his nose closed then blew really hard and—ka-ping! The damn thing flew out and ricocheted all crazy like off the locker and WAHBAM! It hit Glen right in the eye!

DarkLordTaker: Oh no! LMAO!

HeartbreakKitten: Love the sound-effects Jeffsie!

JustaBigLover: Haha…Dumbass!

RainbowRutabega: Yeah so Glen has a big black eye now and he's in a pretty poor mood because people keep stopping him and going "whoah, how'd you get that shiner!" and he has to be like "Chris nose-blew a candy at me"

DarkLordTaker: That was great! I have to go harass him now that I know this! Byeeee!

DarkLordTaker has signed off

ChickMagnet: I want to go watch teehee!

ChickMagnet has signed off

RainbowRutabega: Y'know it had to be the silliest thing I've ever witnessed lol

JustaBigLover: Well not counting the time with the Pop Rocks up the ass right?

RainbowRutabega: wow…um…wow *scared*

RainbowRutabega has signed off

HeartbreakKitten: JOHN there was no time…

HeartbreakKitten: With…

HeartbreakKitten: THE POP ROCKS

HeartbreakKitten: !!!

HeartbreakKitten has signed off

JustaBigLover: :(

_Lol, isn't it funny when Glen is the butt of the joke? No, I love you Glen! JBL, Just a Big…Weirdy? Lol hope you liked this short chapter. Reviews pleases and thankies!_


	15. Chapter 15

_Thank you to my lovely reviewers!!! Cenalova-54-8284, iNdy MiLk, TheVampireLucinda, BellaHickenbottom, Divine Arion, and Dark Kaneanite, _

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 15: Mark Hate's Birds, Under Arrest for Being Sober

"Chris, remind me again why we're doing this?"

Chris Jericho, Mark Calaway, Glen Jacobs, and John Layfield found themselves walking towards a large farm. Already Glen wrinkled his nose smelling the odors coming their way. It was definitely moldy hay overlaid in rancid poo.

"Good ol' country farm smell!" JBL said taking a deep breath and exhaling loudly.

"Smells like Mark's locker room." Glen joked play punching Mark who looked nervous. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Fine." Mark mumbled darting his eyes this way and that.

"We are coming here because I want to apologize." Chris answered Glen's earlier question.

"Well why the hell did you drag us along?" Mark grumped as they trudged towards a long shed.

"We all need to apologize." Chris said drawing his brows together somberly.

Glen rolled his eyes.

"I'm not apologizing to a damn bird. I ate turkey for Thanksgiving and it was awesome. Did you hear that birdies?" Glen cupped his hand around his mouth. "I ate your auntie and then gave her bones to my dog!"

Chris stopped causing Mark to come to and abrupt stop, trip over his big feet, and fall face first into the straw and poo.

"Glen! You are going to offend the turkeys! We are here to apologize not to make them all angry!" Chris growled. "How would you feel if someone ate your auntie and then bragged about it?"

"Oh, my uncle does that all the time." Glen grinned. "I just laugh at him."

"That is not at all what I meant. You have a dirty mind!" Chris chastised.

"His mind may be dirty but so are my clothes!" Taker yelled. "I got freaking shit all over me…" His eyes narrowed and he shook his fist at Chris. "You will pay for this."

"Shit on your jeans is a small price to pay compared to what you owe. YOU ate turkey Mark Calaway!"

"Woopty-fuckin'-doo!" Mark grumped and tried to keep thoughts of strangling Chris out of his mind. "I'm glad I ate it. I hate birds. They're creepy."

"They're creepy?" Layfield asked trying to stifle a laugh. "What's s creepy about 'em?"

"Their eyes…little beady black eyes and their beaks…ick! They're all…beaky and pecky-ish."

"Ooh…" Glen made a creepy face and attached Mark with his wiggling fingers. "Birds Mark, BIIIIIRDS!"

"STOP IT!" Mark cowered and smacked away Glen's hands and Layfield fell into a fit of donkey-like laughter.

"Stop your joking. This is serious." Chris deadpanned as the four men entered the building. They were silenced with a loud gobbling of many turkeys in cages. Mark looked around at all the caged animals and tried not to bolt away in terror. Their eyes blinked at him and their heads bobbed this way and that. Those jiggling hangy-down red things waggled on their necks and over their beaks as they jerked their heads this way and that watching…craning to see the best way to attack…

"My feathered friends, I Chris Jericho come to ask forgiveness for my sins!" Chris shouted over the noise of the birds.

"This is gay." Layfield peered around at the turkeys and started to feel hungry.

"Ah, then you have experience with this sort of situation." Glen teased Layfield who scowled back at him.

"I have committed a horrible crime against you and your brothers! I took your dead carcass and stuffed your ass full of Stovetop stuffing and I put you in a hot, burning, oven and cooked your flesh until it was brown and juicy!"

"That sounds really good!" Layfield said nearly drooling all over himself. "I'm so hungry!"

Chris turned on him with a harsh frown and looked at Layfield as though he were the most despicable human being on the face of the planet. Some may just agree with that notion.

"You're hungry? EAT TOFU!" Chris screamed at Layfield who ducked behind Glen. "He doesn't realize his sin but I do! After I cooked you I tore at your flesh and ate it like a glutton! Oh shame on me for I am guilty!" Chris fell to his knees weeping actual tears. Glen pointed his finger at his own head and moved it in circles while crossing his eyes to indicate that Chris was crazy.

"Didn't your mother tell you not to make faces?" Layfield asked. "It might just stick that way…oh wait…I think it already has."

Glen was about to say something smart-ass back to Layfield when Mark bumped into him. Glen turned to see a turkey waddling towards Mark who was in wide eyed fear.

"What the hell?"

"Get it the fuck away from me!" Mark cried in a high pitched voice. Instead of assisting, Glen just made it worse by continuing the torment.

"They're coming to eat your flesh Marky, they're coming to gouge your eyes to bloody blindness! Yummy, they've came to pull your entrails out like wiggling worms and feast! Birds the evil, soulless, creatures! Their eyes are like little pits of death…flicking flicking flicking!"

"GLEN STOP IT!"

Layfield leaned on the fence that held the turkey's back and cawed laughter scaring some of the birds that were near him. The guy was nearly in tears at Mark's expense. His look of frantic panic and fear at a mere turkey was beyond priceless.

"Oh God, I hate birds! I hate them!"

"Will you three shut up? I'm begging for forgiveness here!" Chris drew one of the large birds towards him and started to stroke its feathers lovingly and whisper apologies to it.

The turkey came closer and closer wobbling its head from side to side in that insanely creepy manner that only birds can do. Its oily little eyes blinked and watched and communicated something very sure to Mark: I am coming for you.

Gobble?

Mark screamed and ran full speed from the building. Now Glen fell onto Layfield and both nearly died of laughing spasms. Chris yelled at them to shut up again.

"Will he be okay?" Layfield asked wiping tears from his eyes and waving his cowboy hat around as a fan.

"Eh, he'll live." Glen cocked his head to the side. "Well, technically…that's not the right way to put it."

"Aaaaah! Help! Biiiiird!" Mark ran through the turkey barn being chased by the vicious bird which was now right on his heels and darting its head downward in attempt to peck at Mark's heels. The sight of a nearly seven foot muscle bound guy running from a twelve pound bird was more than priceless. If that wasn't enough, Glen and Layfield turned away from Mark to see Chris kissing one of the birds on its head. What a strange man, thought Glen.

"Biiiiiird!" Mark yelled once again before streaking past Glen and Layfield. The bird stopped and twitched its eyes at Glen.

Well, I'll be damned! Glen thought to himself. It really _does_ look creepy!

Jack Swagger, Ken Kennedy, Charlie Haas, and Santino were driving to a bar to have a fun night out when Swagger looked in the rearview mirror.

"Damn it, there'th a cop behind uth."

"Ah, we're-a getting over-a pulled by the swine!" Santino shook his head. "I told you, you-a shouldn't drive over the speed of the limit!"

"Oh, thut up thoopid Italian." Swagger pulled over onto the shoulder of the road and waited as the cop pulled in behind them.

"Hi sir, can I see your license, registration, and proof of insurance?"

"Thertainly offither." Swagger pulled his ID out and gave the officer what he wanted. Jack flashed the man a big smile. "I'm Jack Thwagger."

The officer wiped some sprayed spit from his face.

"I see…" The officer peered into the car and saw Santino with a goofy look on his face, Kennedy sitting in the back looking constipated, and Haas crossing his eyes together for no apparent reason.

"Are you boys under the influence?" The cop asked narrowing his eyes at the group.

"I am-a Santino Marella! I am not under anyone's influenza!" Santino stated defiantly, but then his stern look deflated a bit. "Ah, well except for my-a girlfriend, the Glamazon!"

"I'm going to need you to step out of the car sir." The officer said to Swagger.

Swagger slammed his door a bit angry at this whole ridiculous thing.

"I need to determine if you've been drinking."

"I haven't been drinking, I'm the dethignated driver." Swagger answered cockily and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Well, I'd use my breathalyzer but it's broken, so we'll have to do this the old fashioned way. Can you say this children's rhyme for me?"

"Thur. I can thay anything you want me to thay offither."

"Alrighty then. Repeat after me Mr. Swagger…Sally sells sea-shells down by the sea shore."

"That's eathy." Swagger puffed up arrogantly and began in a loud, confident voice. "Thally thells thea…thea…" Swagger stumbled over the words.

"It's okay, start over."

"Thally thells thell theas…damn it!"

"Okay, don't get upset." The officer tried to calm the young man who was growing irate. "We'll try a different one. He bangs his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts."

Swagger sighed, rolled his eyes, and started again.

"He bangth hith fith againth the poth and thill inthith he theeth the ghoth."

"Boy, you are intoxicated!"

"I am not intoxiated!" Swagger yelled stepping towards the officer in a threatening manner. "I have a thlight lithp you thit-head!"

"What did you call me?" The officer now advanced on Swagger.

"THIT-HEAD!"

The officer sprayed mace in Swagger's face and he fell to the ground clawing at his burning eyes. The officer cuffed Swagger and put him in the back of his black and white. Now, for the rest.

"Excuse me sir, the one with the bad haircut and unibrow?" The officer said looking into the car again.

"Hey, you son-a-mugun! You're-a talking to Santino Marella!"

"Well step out of the car Marella."

Santino scowled at the cop and got out of the car. The cop looked him over and almost laughed. He was wearing pink hot-pants and a white t-shirt that said 'Property of the Glamazon' with a picture of Beth Phoenix's face underneath the words.

"What in the hell are you wearing? Son, do you have a problem with your sexual identity?"

"No, I-a can identify all-a sort of identities of the sexes! Let's see you have anal, oral, and…" Santino stopped to think for a moment. "…regular intercourses!"

The officer shook his head, this guy was surely wasted.

"Can you say a children's rhyme for me sir?"

"Santino is-a smarter than any child, certainly I can-a answer you this child's play!"

The cop shrugged his shoulders and said: "Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, how many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?"

"Peter the Piper peckled a pack of prickled peckers! If this-a Peter the Piper fellow peckered a pick of-a peppered pickles, then how-a many puckered peckers did Peter the Piper pick!"

The cop burst out laughing, he just couldn't help himself.

"Son, you are under arrest."

The cop deposited an obviously drunk and irate and babbling Santino in the back of his car with the Swagger guy. He sauntered back to the car where two men remained. He motioned to the man who was sitting in the back seat looking very serious.

"Sir, step out of the vehicle and state your name."

Mr. Kennedy exited the car and bellowed into the night air: "I am Misteeeeeer Kennedy! Kennedy!"

"Ok sir. I'm going to say this children's rhyme then you repeat after me Mr. Kennedy."

"Kennedy!"

"No, not yet Mr. Kennedy."

"Kennedy!"

"Um…I need to say the phrase first okay? Red rubber baby buggy bumpers. Can you say that Mr. Kennedy sir?"

"KENNEDY!"

The cop cuffed Ken Kennedy and stuffed him on top of Swagger. Now, for the last man in the car. The cop could deduce that he was probably intoxicated like the rest.

"Sir, step out of the car please. Can I see your ID?"

Charlie Haas opened his wallet and pulled out an ID.

"Charak Obama?" The cop asked raising his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Oh, sorry. Wrong one." Charlie dug around in his wallet and pulled out another ID.

"Elvis Haasley?"

The cop glared at the young man and tucked the ID's into his pocket.

"Wait, wait I have more! I know I'm here some where!" Charlie dumped a hand full of ID's into the cops opened palms.

"Hannah Haastana? Charllary Clinton? Haasar Arafat?" The cop shook his head as he flipped through the ID's. "This is ridiculous! Haasama Bin Laden? Haasy Haasborne? Mohammad Charli? Haastin Powers? You're under arrest who ever you are!"

"For what!" Charlie Haas shouted as he was cuffed up.

"For being under the influence and for identity theft!"

"Identity theft? But it's my job!"

_So the poor boys get arrested for being drunk when they are completely sober, lol! And poor Taker being chased by a turkey, I really do hate birds they creep me out! Except for Macaw's or peacocks. But haven't you ever noticed how creepy birds are?_

Taker Muse: I sure as hell have, heeeelp! *runs like a girl*

_Please review!!! Thank you much! _


	16. Chapter 16

_My inspiration for some of this came from me trying to kill this really horrible ugly awful bug in my dining room today. It was seriously the grossest thing ever. I was sitting there with a can of Raid ready to spray it, hanging back a little for fear it would jump on me and oh…I don't know just creep the heck out of me and all that good stuff. The minute I sprayed it started jumping around all over the wall and scared me to death!!! I hate spiders and nasty bugs! But I got a really funny mental image of some of the guys trying to kill a bug or being frightened by it, mainly Taker. I guess I've been in a mood to pick on the big guy lately, first it was Glen picking on him trying to make him feel uncomfortable and weirded out with man-affection, then it was the turkey. Lol, poor Mark I love you! At least he's not the only one getting picked on in this chap though. :D And before I get to it, Thank you of course to all of you who take the time to review, I'm glad you are entertained by these silly little things I sure have a blast writing them! Thanks: extremediva54, Dizzyful, BellaHickenbottom, iNdy MiLk, Divine Arion, Dark Kaneanite, and taker's dark lover._

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 16: Someone Kill The Spider!

Taker and Kane were showering in the locker room after a tough match. Mark was silent as he washed through his dark hair and Glen whistled happily as he scrubbed his back. Why he was always so damn happy in the shower Mark didn't know. Mark had a theory that Glen just secretly liked to be naked in front of other guys. As for Mark, he was still a little wary around him. He had been acting very strange since reading the fanfic slash. At least he hadn't done very much to bother him since yesterday and the dumb ass outing to the turkey farm. Seems that little wonder made Glen forget all about his 'sexual advances' and replace them with turkey jokes. Mark had a bad feeling about this shower though. Glen had stopped whistling and was starting to smirk as though hatching a grand scheme that would probably involve annoying the dark haired man next to him. Taker grumbled and washed the bubbles out of his hair.

"Aw, are we grumpy? I can make you un-grumpy."

"Glen…" Mark sighed heavily. And so it begins again. He rolled his eyes and shook his head at the other man who just insisted on pestering him again and again.

"Wanna know how?" Glen's smirk widened into a grin and he looked like he was fighting back laughter.

"No, sure don't." Mark said with sarcastic cheeriness and started washing under his arms.

"Turkey's aren't the only things that can gobble-gobble!"

Mark turned on the other man and growled at him. Glen was filling the whole locker room with his laughter. Great, now he's making turkey and sex jokes all in one, fantastic!

"You better shut up or…" Mark fumbled his soap and it slid between his fingers and fell to the wet tiles below. "Damn it all!"

Mark stared at his dropped soap and Glen stared at Mark waiting to see what he would do. Mark slowly lifted his green-eyed gaze feeling the other man bore into him with his mismatched eyes.

"What are ya lookin' at Glenda?"

"Ha! Good one Mark. Just looking at you." Glen crossed his arms over his chest and creeped Mark out by ogling over his body.

"You're insane. Leave me alone and quit bugging me!"

"I'm not doing anything. Just showering…"

The two stood for a few more moments staring each other down, Glen with a pleased grin on his face and Mark with a scowl.

"Gonna pick up your soap?" Glen asked motioning to the bar on the floor.

"You'd like that wouldn't you. I think I'm just about done here."

"Oh, good grief big baby." Glen muttered. "I'm just teasing. You don't really think I'd do anything do you? What am I some kind of pervert?"

Glen pretended to pout, offended that Mark would ever think such a thing. After a few more hesitant moments Mark bent to grab the soap. Glen promptly reached over and pinched Mark's pale bare ass.

"Hey!" Mark spun around and nearly fell on the thing Glen had just pinched. Luckily he caught himself and saved himself from further embarrassment. "You dumb fuck!" Mark shouted and threw his bar of soap at Glen. It hit him in the chest and bounced off and Glen only laughed.

"You don't believe I meant it do you?"

"I don't know what to think about you, Big Red Homo!"

"Ass Taker." Glen shot back through laughter.

"You're so stupid, you're lucky I don't do something really horrible to you!" Mark barked becoming increasingly annoyed.

"Ooh, do it Mark! Do horrible things to me!"

Mark scowled at the wall and decided it was time to leave the shower. He turned the water off and gathered up his things, leaving his soap on the floor.

"Mark, please don't get all pissy. I'm just joking!" Glen pouted.

Mark started to storm out of the room but froze after only a couple of stomps.

"Oh…my…!"

Glen was turned away and didn't see what Mark saw. He just found another opportunity to be a smart ass.

"Oh, did you just realize how gorgeous I am Mark?"

"There is a big huge ugly nasty hairy thing in the shower room!"

"So now you're joking too huh? Well I can take an insult." Glen shrugged. "Although I don't think I'm hairy. Big huge and ugly I can understand but…have you looked at me recently? I'm kinda bald…ish."

"No there's a gnarly disgusting looking…it's crawling towards you!" Mark shrieked and pointed. Glen spun around at the sound of Mark's cry and saw the most monstrous spider he had ever seen in his entire life!

"Holy shit!" Glen scurried out of the way and onto Mark's foot.

"Ow! You big dope ya crushed my toes!" Taker hoped backward holding his foot and rubbing it.

"It turned around!" Glen shouted and backed away as the spider scuttled across the wet floor back towards him. "It's coming to get meeeee!" Glen cowered into Mark.

"Hey, get your naked ass off of me boy!"

"Well where's your towel?" Glen kept his eyes on the spider that was getting closer and closer. "Maybe you should get your naked dick off of me!"

"How about you get your naked everything off of me!"

"How about you KILL that THING before it eats me!" Glen grabbed Mark's tube of muscle relaxer and threw it at the spider. It missed by a mile.

"Nice aim Ace." Mark deadpanned.

"It's COMING!"

"What in the hell is going on in here?" Big Show Paul Wight stormed into the room wondering what all the girlish shouting was about. He stopped short seeing the spider twitching its long hairy legs at Glen who was naked and cowering into Mark who was also naked. The scene would have been funny if the spider hadn't been there making Show go all twitchy and itchy. He ran his hands over his arms feeling like bugs were crawling on him.

"That is the scariest spider I've ever…oh crap!" Show ducked into a stall when the spider turned and rushed towards him. "STEP on it for Pete's sake!" Show bellowed as he peeked timidly around stall door. Now the spider seemed to be studying each man and wondering which one it would go for. Glen grabbed Mark's back brush and hurled that across the room too but it hit a urinal and clattered to the floor sending the spider into a frenzied run back towards Kane and Taker.

"Good going Kane!"

"Just…just step on it!" Show said peeking further out of the stall.

"You step on it, you have shoes on!" Glen hollered.

"Huh-uh. I don't step on bugs, I hate that feel of them y'know the _crunch-squish_…I just can't take it!" He shuddered as though just thinking of stepping on a bug, especially a large hairy one like the spider that was nearly upon Glen, would only be worse than a normal bug.

"I'm too young to die!" Glen grabbed Mark around the waist and shoved him in front. "You're older, you go!"

"Hey!" Before Mark could round on Glen and yell at him the spider crawled across his foot sending all three men into screaming hysterics.

"IT TOUCHED ME!"

"Gross! Gross gross gross!" Big Show ducked back into the stall as though this provided him safety.

"Better you than me!" Glen shrieked and Mark shoved him roughly.

"You idiot! I'm going to have nightmares!"

Glen pointed a trembling finger and grew pale.

"It's coming for me!"

"Hey, it's pretty loud in here, what IS going on in here?" This came from Batista who sauntered into the room. "Maybe I really don't want to know. See, maybe you can explain something. This is what I hear…"IT TOUCHED ME! Gross gross gross gross! Better you than me! You idiot, I'm going to have nightmares! It's coming for me!" Now, just think about how all that sounds."

"It's not THAT." Mark assured Dave.

"It's coming for you!" Glen pointed once more and Dave drew his brows together confused.

"What is?" Then he saw the reason for all the commotion.

"N-no I hate spiders, I HATE them!" Dave picked up a bath brush (Mark's that Glen had thrown earlier) and threw it at the spider. He was a worse shot than Glen, the brush bounced off the tile floor and hit Mark in the face.

"Do I look like I have eight hairy legs? Learn to aim!" Mark rubbed his face.

"Kill it Dave!" Show wailed.

"But these are new shoes and—and I'll get spider squish all over them!"

"DO IT!" Glen yelled. Instead Batista hopped his butt up on the sink and drew his feet up from the ground like a lady drawing her skirts up in fear of a mouse.

"I can't! Do you know how much these cost?"

"Oh hells bells!" Taker growled.

"It's crawling up the wall!" Show warned Dave. Dave looked to see that indeed the spider was making its way up the wall towards him. It was inching closer and closer to his face and he did the only thing he could think of. He tried blowing at it in hopes that it would fall off. He puffed up his cheeks and blew and blew at the spider, crossing his eyes the whole time trying to look at it, because it was so close to his face. Mark, Glen, and Show were too concerned to notice the hilarity of the situation.

"Hi guys." John Cena said coming into the locker room. He seemed oblivious to everyone elses horror and stepped under the shower ready to turn it on. His hand touched the knob but then he had an epiphany that something was going on.

"Guys, what's going on?" He looked from Mark and Glen (naked Mark and Glen) to Paul who's head poked up above the stall door, to Dave who was…about to get attacked by the freakiest spider ever!

"Oh shit! It's going to eat your face or something man!" Cena sprinted from the room. He came back a moment later with a can of Raid, his finger poised on the button.

"Hey, where'd you get that?" Show asked.

"I always keep a spare can of Raid with me. Keeps pests away."

"I should get some to keep Glen away." Mark remarked. Glen didn't even notice the jab. He was too enthralled at watching Cena who was going to save them all from the hideous eight legged monster. Cena positioned the can perfectly. He was so deep in concentration that his tongue peeked out of the corner of his mouth. Batista uncrossed his eyes and stopped huffing and puffing at the bug.

"Hey! You're not going to spray that! You'll--" Dave started to protest but didn't get his whole complaint out.

"DIE BITCH!" Cena yelled and sprayed Raid. The spider fell to the floor and skittered once again toward Taker and Kane. Batista fell off the sink hitting his head on a urinal. He coughed and sputtered and shrieked.

"My eyes! Ack, my face! Buuuurns!" He turned on water and ducked his face underneath while cursing Cena.

"Cena spray it! Get it Champ get IT!" Glen and Mark hollered. Cena shook the Raid can realizing he had emptied it all into Dave's face. He opted for throwing the can at the spider but hit Mark instead.

"What the fuck! I am not the spider, THAT is the SPIDER!"

"Cena, step on it!"

"I'm naked!" Cena protested. "You step on it!"

"I'm naked too!" Glen yelled back.

Micke James was walking past the men's locker room when she heard a lot of noise. It sounded like the guys were yelling and from the sound of it something horrible was happening. Micke hesitated but then shrugged and ducked into the locker room. She followed the frantic voices and found five men in the shower area, three were naked, and all five were going insane over something.

"Guys, what's wrong?" She hollered over the other booming voices.

"SPIDER!" Four of the guys yelled at once. Dave was still coughing and flushing his face with water.

"What? You guys are ridiculous." Mickie walked across the room unaffected by the nakedness of John, Glen, or Mark. Likewise she was unaffected by the nasty creature tormenting the guys. The spider stood in the middle of the room waving its legs around. Mickie brought her palm down and splatted it with one good shot. She brought up her palm and looked at it with a slight wrinkle of her nose. "There you go boys. Spider's gone." She grabbed a paper towel on the way out of the room and left the five guys just staring after her in awe.

_Okay, I know that was kind of long and normally in my Silly Style fic I have two or three little things going on but the more I wrote this I just couldn't stop it short. Maybe I dragged it out too much but I liked it. Let me know what you all think. :) A woman to the rescue of those five big guys lol. I guess I would brave squishing a spider too if I got to see some of them in their birthday suits. _


	17. Chapter 17

_Yay!!! 100 reviews for WWE Silly Style! Thank you all so much! I have a very special chapter for you all and a surprise at the end. :D lol loves you guys!!! Thank you to reviewers: BellaHickenbottom, iNdy MiLk, extremediva54, Divine Arion, Dark Kaneanite, and TheVampireLucinda._

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 17: Shawn's Kisses

"Hey! What are you doing on my computer?" Hunter asked Cena who had hijacked his lap top.

"Ordering kisses!" Cena replied happily clicking the 'buy' button.

"What?" Randy Orton who was also in Hunter's hotel room, leaned over Cena's shoulder to see what he was doing.

"You didn't see DX's taping earlier?" Cena questioned. Orton shook his head no.

"I'll explain." Hunter smirked. "See Shawn and I just got done cutting another piece about ordering Christmas gifts from WWE website. Shawn really outdid himself this time. As I was explaining about a toy, Shawn decided to interrupt with a gift idea of his own."

Earlier

Shawn held up a small box. Hunter stopped mid sentence and frowned at it wondering what his friend was up to, probably something goofy as usual.

"I know what you fans really want for Christmas! Now you can buy a stocking stuffer that really matters! You can buy a kiss from me, your handsome, dashing, sexy--"

"Shawn…" Hunter rolled his eyes. "How do you intend on selling kisses?"

"Don't interrupt me fool!" Shawn waggled his finger dramatically in HHH's face.

"When you point at me you have four fingers pointing back at you!"

"Sooo childish." Shawn scoffed. "He's a child isn't he? But anyway, I suppose all you fans…ladies…" Shawn paused to give a wink at the camera. "Are now glued to the tube begging me to tell you how you can buy your very own Shawn Michael's kiss."

Shawn opened the top of the little box and shoved it into Hunter's hands.

"Hold this."

"Do I have a choice?"

"Tilt it this way a little, no left…other left! There, perfect!" The box was positioned close to Shawn's face. He placed his fingertips to his lips, kissed them, then blew across the palm of his hand. "Hurry Hunter!" Shawn commanded. "Close the lid or it will escape!"

Shawn and Hunter fumbled with the lid but Triple H dropped the box. Shawn pulled at his hair and stormed around the room frantically.

"No! Look what you have unleashed upon the world! Now there's a limited edition Shawn Michael's smooch floating around just waiting to land on the lips of some unsuspecting civilian!"

"Shawn…it's just an empty box." Hunter picked up the box and peeked inside just to make sure.

"Just an empty box? You are unreal!" Shawn tore the box away from Hunter and glared at him. "You just wait and see, I can do this by myself." Shawn positioned the opened box on the table and repeated his earlier performance of blowing a kiss into it. He quickly closed the top and handed the box to Hunter smiling proudly. "Now that is how you package a little HBK sugar!"

"There is nothing in here." Hunter shook the box.

"Hey! Don't shake it, it's fragile you'll shatter it!" Shawn reached for the box ready to pry it away from Hunter but the taller man held it up over is head.

"Don't make me tune up the band boy!" Shawn warned.

"Look, this is the most hair-brained thing you've ever came up with." Hunter paused for a moment. "Well, no there was the time with the spray cheese and…but anyway…look I'll prove it to you." Hunter leaned over the box and opened it up. His head jerked backwards as though he was struck with something and he staggered a few steps.

"And?" Shawn smiled at his friend smugly.

"Whoah! That was…" Hunter looked dazed and delighted. "Wow Shawn…like a party in my pants! Like a kegger for my Little Prince!" Hunter suddenly blushed a deep, burning, red. He just realized that he said those words on live t.v. in front of millions of people.

"And there you have it folks." Shawn blew a kiss to the camera and Hunter ran off. "Hey Hunt, where are you going?"

Hunters voice could be heard off camera.

"I'm going to to order some kisses before they sell out!"

"Wow." Shawn smiled. "When you got it, you got it. I'm just a sexy boy."

Hunter finished explaining to Randy. He wondered why he hadn't omitted his own embarrassing statement but he reasoned that his brain was still not properly functioning on all levels due to the impact of Shawn's earlier kiss.

"Move over Cena!" Randy shouted and shoved Cena out of the chair. "I wanna buy some of those!"

"For who?" Cena asked picking himself up and rubbing his rear.

"Uh, um…for Mickie of course. She loves Shawn." Randy said turning a warm shade of pink.

"Hey I hear Shawn is selling kisses!" Kane bounded into the room followed by Cody Rhodes, Edge, and Santino. "Move your ass RatedRKO, Big Red Machine wants some!"

Glen swiped the lap top right out from under Randy as he was about to click 'buy'.

"Give it back, I didn't get to make my transaction!" Randy growled.

"Transact this!" Kane said waving his fist in Rany's face.

Glen and Randy began a fist fight and Cody managed to dive and catch the laptop before it fell to the ground and was busted. He erased Randy's information and typed his own credit card number in along with an order of 12 kisses. He started to press buy but then reconsidered and changed the number to twenty.

"Mine!" Edge snatched the lap top away from Cody and ran out of the room with it.

"That's mine!" Triple H shouted and chased after Edge.

Glen and Randy were still fighting on the floor. Cody shrugged and started to cheer for Randy but after getting a death look from Kane he decided it was better to support the Big Red Machine.

"Look what I have!" Chris Jericho pushed his way past Santino who was enthralled with the brawl. His gaze was averted to Chris who was dressed in a red and white suit and dragging a big sack behind him.

"It's Jeri-Claus!" Santino shouted clapping his hands happily. Chris sat down and dumped out what was in the bag—over a hundred small boxes with green bows on top, HBK kisses. Santino perched himself of Chris's knee. "I-a want a kiss for Christmas pleeeease! I've-a been really good."

Chris laid a big kiss on Santino's mouth and the Italian scrubbed his lips on the back of his hand sputtering.

"Not-a you Y2 idiot! Heartbreak Kiss!" He pointed at the boxes littering the ground. Glen and Randy had not even noticed that there were boxes of kisses within their reach. They just continued throwing punches. Cody grabbed one of the boxes and hugged it to his chest like it was a nugget of gold. Cena too threw himself to the floor and began to scoop up the precious gifts.

"Oh…I see. Well Jeri-Claus does not like to part with his Shawn kisses but…" Chris plucked one of the boxes from the floor and tore the wrapping off. He stuck the green bow on top of his bleached hair. "You have to be ready for it." Chris warned. "These things are powerful. Make you wann slap yo' mama!" Chris held the box in front of Santino's face and opened it. Santino fell off of Chris's knee and lay motionless on the floor for a few moments. Chris knelt to Santino's side giving his cheek a light slap.

"Santino!"

"Ooh, Mama Mia!" Santino moaned rolling his eyes around. "I-a think I just-a got an organism…aaah…"

Kane and Randy stopped fighting distracted by Chris who was rolling on the floor laughing.

"Oh I have-a never been feeling so-a pleasured before! Not even when-a Beth used the fibulator. I'm-a so very happy, so very happy!" Santino snuffled his nose. He was near tears from the wonderful Shawn kiss.

"Um…fibulator?" Chris asked between chuckles.

"Fake man package!" Santino tried to explain further and Chris laughed so hard that it hurt.

"Who cares about vibrators! Kiss boxes!" Randy leaped onto the pile of small boxes that were still spread over the floor. He started tearing them to shreds unleashing Shawn kisses all over his self. He fell back on the floor unconscious.

"I think he overdosed!" Cody shook Randy who didn't respond.

"You can overdose on kisses?" Kane wondered.

"They're Shawn's kisses doofus!" Chris slapped himself in the forehead. "They're like a Red Bull for your libido!"

"Must…order…more…" Cena gasped.

Edge bounded back into the room huffing and puffing, his eyes wide in horror.

"I'm going to diieeeee!" He ducked behind Chris using him as a shield. An angry looking Triple H stomped into the room wielding his sledge hammer.

"Oh no, oh no Adam get your ass away from me!" Chris and Adam pawed over each other as Hunter came closer and closer.

"You destroyed my lap top!"

"So, get another one!" Chris shrieked.

"But that would require him having to ask Mommy Stephie for money!" Edge sniggered. Even in a dangerous and possibly life-threatening situation such as this, Adam couldn't keep his mouth shut. Hunter growled and swung his sledge hammer.

"Learn when to zip your lip Adam!" Glen grabbed Edge by the shoulders and hurled him onto the bed, he toppled off backwards and landed with a crash on the other side. Chris cowered.

"Wait! I know what will fix everything!" Cena scrambled for an unopened box and tore the lid off right under Hunter's nose. The Shawn kiss hit him so hard he fell into Kane knocking them both down with a crash. Hunter sighed happily, dropped his hammer, and rubbed at his lips happily dazed.

"Get off of me Triple Dumbass!" Kane barked from beneath the smitten Game.

"I've never felt so floaty before…like a feather riding on a breeze." Hunter sighed loudly and contentedly again like a school girl in love. "A realy horny feather…riding on…" Hunter giggled. "…on a climax-inducing breeze…"

"That's it, off of me now!" Kane rolled Hunter off of him and picked himself up.

"Oh no!" Chris looked down at the floor at all of the trampled and emptied boxes. His smile dropped into a dejected frown. "They're…all gone!" He whimpered on the verge of tears.

"I can get to WWE website with my phone and order more." Said a voice from the doorway. It was Dave Batista. Everyone looked at him hopefully. Edge climbed back over the bed and leaned over Chris' shoulder with his blue eyes wide and waiting to hear that they were getting more HBK kisses.

"Oh, no!" Dave's face collapsed into the most desolate expression any of the men had ever seen. He even paled a bit as he blinked at the screen of his phone. He shook his head, then read out loud. "Due to a flood of traffic and transactions, WWE website has been temporarily shut down. We are sorry for any inconvenience but due to overwhelming response Shawn Michael's Christmas Kisses, this product will be permanently removed from ."

The room exploded into a chorus of NOoOoO's, groans, moans, and griping, even some sobbing.

"Wait a minute guys, why not go for the real deal, the sexy boy-toy himself?" Everyone turned to look at Chris. For once, he had a good idea.

Later

Shawn Michael's was sitting in the hot tub at the hotel enjoying the warm bubbles and relaxing. He lay his head back and closed his eyes for a moment or two. He was suddenly distracted from his relaxation when he heard what sounded like a heard of crazy animals running into the pool area. They seemed to be growing closer and closer…Shawn turned around to see Chris, Adam, Glen, Dave, Cody, Santino, Hunter, Randy, and Cena all running full speed towards him, arms out stretched, with insane looks on their faces. Shawn shrieked and flew out of the hot tub in his little swim shorts.

"GET HIM!" Voices yelled. Shawn sped as fast as he could but the ravenous wrestlers were right behind him chasing him out of the lobby and down the street, intent on getting more kisses.

_LOL! Okay, I'm really excited because since the last chapter's reviews put my review at 100! This is the first fic I have had get that many reviews and I was so happy! Thank you all so much. Sooo…it just so happens that I was able to order some Shawn kisses before froze up. So to all my loyal readers and reviewers I give you a small gift! *throws shiny wrapped boxes to readers/reviewers.* Just be careful with them, they're potent! Enjoy ;)_


	18. Chapter 18

_Sooo…yeah I just posted an hour or so ago…lol. After I posted chapter 17 my brain went really wacky and I wrote this. What got me going on this was Santino's line in the last chapter about Beth and the vibrator only he said 'fibulator'. My mind just went really goofy and from that came this. Warning, it is pretty much perverted *blushes* don't get the wrong idea about me please I'm not normally like this I don't know what it is. Blame it on Santino I guess. :) I wasn't going to post this so soon on the heels of my last post but the more I kept thinking I wasn't going to post it, the more I wanted to post it. So, it's here. It's short. Enjoy! And thank you for reviews on the last chapter: Divine Arion, TheVampireLucinda, and Dark Kaneanite._

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 18: Chat #5

**MarellaFella**: Please no one tell Beth what I said about the percolator. She'd be embarrassed! You know, remember what I said yesterday about the percolator after I was knocked all funny by Shawn's kiss-in-a-box?

**HeartBreakKitten**: What? What's embarrassing about a percolator?

**EdgeyVeggie**: I know my percolator is very embarrassing. *blushes*

**MarellaFella**: Silly Shawn Michaels, do you not know what a percolator is? It's a fake man package…Beth's is purple…and I referenced it when I was dizzy from Shawn kiss!

**EdgeyVeggie**: OMG my man package is purple too!

**HeartBreakKitten**: Oh my.

**BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed**: Yeah he means vibrator, not percolator.

**HeartBreakKitten**: I kinda got that Glen, I'm not as dumb as I seem.

**Jeri-Claus**: Say it with me Santino, vi-bra-tor. A percolator is what you put coffee in.

**MarellaFella**: Santino Marella knows the difference between man goodies and coffee pots!

**BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed**: That's a good thing.

**HeartBreakKitten**: Maybe I should sell vibrators in the shape of my…nah

**Jeri-Claus**: I'd buy one! *holds up money*

**EdgeyVeggie**: I would buy two. *holds up more money*

**BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed**: What?!

**Jeri-Claus**: Oh come on, you would buy one too Glen.

**MarellaFella**: Shawn why would you sell coffee pots in the shape of your man package? O_o

**HeartBreakKitten**: LMAO

**Jeri-Claus**: ROFLMAO

**EdgeyVeggie**: I'd by a vibrator and a percolator in the shape of Shawn's man package! Oh what fun!

**BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed**: Santino that is NOT what Shawn meant. Just never mind. Adam…I don't even know where to start with you.

**MarellaFella**: O_o

**Jeri-Claus**: I'd drink coffee out of Shawn's man package!

**BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed**: This is getting severely out of hand

**BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed** has signed off

**HeartBreakKitten**: Chris you are making me very close to spewing chunks. Please do not talk about drinking things from my, um…erm…y'know…

**MarellaFella**: *confused*

**Jeri-Claus**: Shawn you are so oblivious to my feelings! *pouts*

**HeartBreakKitten**: You are weird Chris. You are the only guy on the roster who thinks of me that way!

**EdgeyVeggie**: Um…let me make that last statement much broader, you are oblivious to HALF THE ROSTERS feelings.

**HeartBreakKitten**: …what?

**EdgeyVeggie**: Never mind. Hey Chris, if you drank coffee from Shawn's man package would you take it black or with cream? *dies laughing*

**HeartBreakKitten**: *spews vomit*

**Jeri-Claus**: Adam I think we should get together. Perverted minds think alike. *waggles eyebrows up and down suggestively*

**EdgeyVeggie**: Hm…not a bad idea. I've heard rumors about you and Pop-Rocks Chris…

**HeartBreakKitten**: That retard Layfield, there were never any POP-ROCKS!

**Jeri-Claus**: So you say.

**HeartBreakKitten**: I think it's time for me to go…in fact it was time for me to leave this chat a loooong time ago.

**HeartBreakKitten** has signed off

**MarellaFella**: I too must go, I'm making some coffee in my escalator and I need to check it.

**MarellaFella** has signed off

**EdgeyVeggie**: Why is he making coffee in an escalator?

**Jeri-Claus**: I think he meant percolator.

_Okay, you know the drill. Drop me a line and lemme know if you loved it, hated it, think I'm a weirdo, think I'm on drugs, think it's scary, dirty, or anything else you have to say!! Hopefully now I can pick my brain up out of the gutter for a little while. LOL_


	19. Chapter 19

_I have been on a roll with my humor fics lately, haven't got the groove to update any of my serious fics. IDK I think I'm just in a fab mood because I'm on break from school. Yay! So there will prob be a lot of Silly Style updates as opposed to "serious fic" updates for a while…though Kane muse is starting to want an update on "Becoming Kane". Can't say for sure how soon this will happen, but I am sure there will be another Silly Style chapter tonight. Yay! Now I will quit rambling and get on with my thanks because this chapter turned out too long as it is, but hopefully you all will enjoy it anyway! Thank you for reviews my brilliant amazingly awesome lovely readers: takers dark lover, BellaHickenbottom, Dizzyful, extremediva54, cenalova-54-8284, iNdy MiLk, TheVampireLucinda, Sinfully Sined, Divine Arion, xMayhemx, and Dark Kaneanite. Thanks so much! Loves to all! *hugs*_

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 19: The "Flower Pot"

"Ahh!" Jeff came bursting into the hotel room like a madman. He had a huge excited grin pasted to his face. Matt was playing American Idol in his underwear. "Matt…you need pants."

"Big girls don't cry, bi-ig giiirls, they don't cry-eeeeee!" Matt shrilled in a high pitched voice that made him sound as though he got kicked in the groin. Jeff grimaced and covered his ears.

"Matt, shut up I have something awesome to tell you!"

"I hate Simon Cowell, I'm going to find him and put laxatives in his drink, bwa ha see how you judge that!" Matt shouted and waved his fist at the t.v. "As for the pants, I lost my clothes playing strip poker with Festus and Koslov Friday night. So all I have are my underwear, and I wore them all weekend and they're getting gross. I think I may become a nudist. Or else you can let me borrow your extra clothes."

"Please, Matt no one wants to see your pasty ass." Jeff dug around in his bag and tossed Matt some pants. "Oh yeah, and that reminds me. I have something in here that Punk gave me. I had a really good time at his house this weekend. He's kind of weird though. You think he's normal and everything until you spend the weekend with him. But guess what he gave me?" Jeff hopped around excitedly.

"What did he give you?" Matt asked trying to fasten Jeff's pants so he didn't have to become a nudist.

"I said guess, duh that means you have to actually try to figure it out!" Jeff rolled his green eyes at his brother.

"Um, a jack hammer?"

"No!"

"A hippo…I bet that's it. I heard Phil always keeps spare hippos around, just in case of emergencies where a hippo may come in handy."

"Nope, not a hippo. What kind of emergency would call for a hippo?" Jeff tilted his head and scratched his beard.

"I can think of a lot. Jeff I think your pants shrunk…"

"I think your brain shrunk."

"So what did Phil give you?"

"Oh yeah! He gave me a flower pot!" Jeff pulled out a ceramic thing that was colored blue. Matt immediately burst into laughter.

"Jeff, you do know that is not a flower pot, right?"

"Of course I do." Jeff smirked. "But Phil doesn't. He thinks they're flower pots, dude you wouldn't believe it he has them all over his house with flowers and those little green leafy things, y'know chickens or whatever, growing in them! Can you believe it?" Jeff collapsed onto the bed clutching the 'flower pot' which was not actually a flower pot. It was a bong. Jeff convulsed in laughing in fits.

"You mean hen and chicks, that's what those plants are called. Man, leave it to straight-edge Phil to have a million bongs around his house and not even know what they are."

"Yeah I was talking about how cool the 'flower pots' were." Jeff finger quoted. "So he gave me one! He said he was thinking about giving some out as Christmas gifts!"

"No way!"

The two Hardy's spent a good ten minutes laughing until they were crying.

"So what are you going to do with it? Maybe you should plant a cactus in it. I think that would look nifty." Matt suggested.

"Hell no, I can think of much better uses." Jeff held the bong up admiring it. "And did you just say 'nifty'?"

"Yeah, I did."

"I'm so stoked! I have to go show this to Glen." Jeff made his way to the door.

"Why Glen?"

"I think it would be funny." Jeff shrugged.

"Well if you see Festus will you ask him to give my socks back? They were my favorite socks, the ones with the kittens on them."

Jeff paused to give his brother a strange look. And people accused Jeff of being the weird one, but if they only knew. He wasn't the one who lost his clothes to Festus and Koslov in strip poker, sang falsetto in his underwear, considered becoming a nudist, and got teary over some lost kitty socks. Matt was just an oddball. As Jeff left the room to find Glen, he could hear Matt start to sing again.

"That's when I fell for…leader of the pack!"

Jeff just hurried away from the room and the bad sixties girl-band songs. He knocked on Glen's door but found he wasn't there. He searched the hotel and finally found him in a rec room playing…American Idol on the flat screen t.v. but luckily not in his underwear.

"Like a virgin, touched for the very first time…" Glen sang very passionately while doing a sexy dance and winking at Paula Abdul.

"Um…Glen?"

"Oh, hi Jeffie!" Glen turned off the game but not before blowing Paula a kiss. "She's so pretty. I vow to make her mine someday."

"Guess what I have!" Jeff hopped onto the sectional and jumped up and down on it with something behind his back. His colorful hair flopped up and down crazily.

"A sugar high?" Glen suggested. He thought about joining Jeff jumping on the couch but then again he would probably hit his bald head on the ceiling.

"No. I'm trying to cut down on sugar. Just one bag a day."

Glen burst out laughing.

"Sweet. Well do you have a hippo?"

"Why does everyone think I have a hippo?"

"Well, everyone should have a spare hippo in case of emergencies that call for such things." Glen reasoned. Besides, Jeff just looked like the kind of person who would have an extra hippo stored somewhere.

"No. I have a flower pot which is not really a flower pot. Phil gave it to me." Jeff held out the bong proudly for Glen to see. His eyes grew wide and excited.

"It's so beautiful! I haven't done that in ages! Wait, you got this from Phil? He thought it was a flower pot?" Glen slapped himself in the forehead. Phil was the only person he knew who could legitimately mistake drug paraphernalia for gardening tools.

"Want to try it out with me?" Jeff looked around to make sure no one was watching or listening. He and Glen were the only ones in the rec room.

"Okay." Glen shrugged. "Why not?"

Soon Glen and Jeff were hiding crouched down behind the couch inhaling smoke from the 'flower pot'. Soon they were giggling and then they were just laughing, which escalated to near hysterics.

"Then Matt said he thought about being a nudist!" Jeff shrieked with laughter.

"Why would Matt want to be a Buddhist?" Glen asked while watching the curling smoke.

"No not a Buddhist, a nudist! Y'know naked like the day you were born!"

"A nudist Buddhist…I wasn't born naked. I was born with hair." Glen rubbed his bald head. "I wish I could be reborn so I could have hair."

"You're too big to be unborn it would never work." Jeff leaned against the back of the couch and stared off into space happily.

"Not unborn stupid, reborn. Born anew, with lots of freaking hair!"

"Besides hair doesn't count you're still naked even if you have like, tons of hair, down to your toes, all over your body it doesn't matter you're still naked." Jeff waved his arms around elaborately illustrating something. "Sasquatch is hairy but he's still naked. Dogs have hair but they're naked."

"Nuh-uh, as long as your weenie is covered you're not naked. Naked means people can see your goodies. So if you're like…cousin It from the Addams family where he has hair like a big freaking mop and he's all covered then he's not naked."

"No, naked means you don't have clothes on. Hair does not count! See, I'll show you." Jeff took his clothes off and sat back down. "See Glen I don't have clothes on so I'm naked!" He stopped to consider for a minute. "Dude, does that mean I just got reborn? I could y'know because I'm smaller than you."

"Oh my gosh, are you a baby now?"

"I…don't know. I guess I am I mean I am naked after all. Glen maybe you should smack my ass." Jeff said standing up and looking down at Glen whose eyes were glazed over.

"Smack your ass…okay but why? Are we having a party where we smack asses? Smack asses…smackasses, sah-mack-aaaassssses…that sounds weird when you say it a whole bunch." Glen started to giggle. "Smackasses! Smuh-hack-aaaaaaaasses."

"Well doctors smack the baby's butts when they're born so if you smack my butt then I'll know that I'm a baby and that I have been reborn. See? It makes sense."

"Oh it makes lots of senses. I mean scents…I guess." Glen smacked Jeff's bare butt and then fell over on the floor laughing. Jeff ducked back behind the couch.

"Someone's coming dude shut up they'll hear you and they'll find us smoking flowers. I mean flower pots. They might even find out that I'm reborn and that would be bad. They wouldn't let me wrestle if they knew I just got born." Jeff clapped a hand over Glen's mouth when he only cried louder. Tears ran down the sides of Glen's face and he completely forgot what he was laughing at just that something was fucking hilarious to the point that he was bawling.

"What in the hell are you guys doing?" Mark looked down on weeping Glen and Jeff who had not a stitch of clothes on.

"We have pot." Jeff stated in a dull voice. "No, I mean we have a flower pot. With chickens in it. I mean, those plant thingies. Hens and cocks or whatever."

"Hens and chicks you mean." Mark corrected.

"Yeah chicks and cocks." Jeffs eyes grew wide. "Wait, why would someone call a plant chicks and cocks?"

"Guys there's smoke behind you…Glen have you been lighting farts again?" Mark pushed Jeff out of the way and saw the so called 'flower pot'. "Shit, where did you guys get a bong?"

"Mark I didn't steel your gong!" Glen defended.

"No, bong Glen, not gong."

"Phil gave it to me." Jeff explained. To Mark it wasn't much of an explanation, why would Phil give Jeff a bong? It would stand to reason it would be the other way around, that Jeff would be more likely to give Phil a bong in attempt to corrupt him. Mark stood there for a few more moments with his arms crossed over his chest looking down at the guys who both had huge grins and glassy eyes. He was beginning to feel a little mellow himself.

"I better leave, I think I'm getting a contact high."

"Oh come on Undie get fucked up with us we like it. We have fun getting fucked up." Jeff turned stoned puppy eyes on Mark.

"Do not call me Undie, I hate it. Make's me sound like a freaking undergarment."

"Mark are you going to stay and fuck with us? I mean stay with us and fuck? Fucked…us…yeah." Glen closed one eye and squinted at Mark and then burst out into wild laughter. "Imma pirate yarg squint at you with me squinty eye! Yarg!"

"Oh my, what am I doing? I will not fuck either one of you but…oh hell. I'll get stoned with ya. It's been a loooong time. What could it hurt?" It seemed as though Mark's sanity had took a hiatus. He scooted in between Jeff and Glen and Jeff handed him the bong.

"Turn off your mind…relax and float down stream. Let the magic enhance your being. You can be reborn like me." Jeff said as though he was a certified bong instructor. Maybe he was?

"Camera one, camera two. Camera one, camera two!" Glen leaned over Mark and took turns closing his left eye and squinting at Mark then closing his right eye and squinting with the left. "Why do your eyes have different death perception? Why don't they see the same death?"

"Depth." Mark corrected.

"That's what I said, death."

"You can see Death? You're lucky. I'd like to see what it looks like. Is it black?" Jeff asked twirling his hair into knots.

"Why would Death be black? Couldn't he be Asian or Hispanic or Pacific Islander or Other?" Glen wondered.

"Maybe Death is a girl. I wonder if Death has big titties? I want to feel up Death." Mark said with a silly smirk on his face. His eyes now matched Jeff and Glens. "I want to make love to Death!" Mark shouted.

"But you're Death remember? You want to make love to yourself? That's fucked up." Jeff stated. "I don't know though, I guess I'd want to make love to myself too. I'm pretty damn sexy. Would you want to make love to myself Glen?"

"Wanna make love with Paula Abdul. Wanna make babies with Paula Abdul." Glen giggled madly. "Smack asses, smack asses with Paula Abdul! Smaaaack assssssssses. Seeeemaaaack ooooooaaaaasssssiiiiiiiiis. Smack asses!"

"I think we should kill Mark to see if he really is dead. If he is dead then he won't die but if he isn't dead then I guess we'll have to dig a really big grave." Jeff pried the bong away from Mark's fingers and hugged it to his chest.

"You think about killing Mark too!" Glen shrieked. "I think about killing him all the time, the voices in my head talk about it!"

"Dude, my voices do too!" Jeff pumped his fist up and down enthusiastically.

"We must share the same voices." Glen said nodding seriously.

"Nah man, that would be dumb y'can't share the same mental voices. We prolly just share the same head." Jeff tapped his finger to his head.

"Oh! That's brilliant I should have thought of that. But if we share the same head I guess I did think of it." Glen tapped his own head. "Did you feel it?"

"I feel ya man, I really feel ya!" Jeff bobbed his head up and down like a bobble doll on a dash board.

"Imma huuuungry." Mark looked down at his stomach. "We should go buy chips and gummy worms and deep fried pickles."

"Mmmm." Jeff mumbled.

"Know what? Everything is good deep fried. I deep fried JBL's hat once." Glen held his hand up to his face and stared at it studying the lines. "Yeah deep fried Twinkies, deep fried Oreos, deep fried spaghetti, deep fried toenail clippings, deep fried oatmeal, deep fried chicken soup, and deep fried deep-fryer fat. That's how I keep my figure I eat deep fried Slimfast."

"Imma hungry." Mark repeated and dug in his pockets. All he found was lint. He shrugged, pulled up his shirt, and found more lint in his belly button. "Ew!" He cried holding up the piece of lint. "Navel shit!" He screamed and flicked it onto naked Jeff.

"I'll save if for ya." Jeff said. He picked the flung lint off of his chest and stuck it in his own belly button. "I stick everything in my belly button. Just ask Matt. When we were kids I used to hide our spare house key in there. I lost it though when I was fourteen and Matt got pissed at me. I think it got absorbed into my liver which is why I get drunk when I drink too much mouthwash."

"If you had a key in your liver wouldn't you die?" Mark poked at Jeff's belly. Jeff just shrugged.

"If you drank mouthwash would it smell minty fresh when you pass gas?" Glen asked very serious.

"No, because it wouldn't smell minty fresh because I use cinnamon mouthwash." Jeff explained.

"Imma hungry."

Phil Brooks decided to go to the rec room. He heard they had American Idol there and he wanted to give it a try. Besides, he found Simon Cowell attractive. Phil entered the room and smelled something funny. He heard hushed voices but didn't see anyone.

"Is anyone in here?" He looked around the room once more but saw no one. There were giggles which seemed to be coming from behind the sectional. Phil trotted over to the couch hoping he would find someone to play American Idol with him but instead he saw Jeff, Mark, and Glen sitting leaned against the back of the couch looking very happy and mellow.

"Oh, hi guys. Jeff, are you showing them my flower pot? I have a ton of them at home aren't they adorable!" Phil then realized that Jeff was nude. But then again Jeff was odd so it wasn't a big deal that he was sitting here with nothing on.

"Smackass!" Glen exclaimed.

"Imma hungry." Mark whined.

"Hey Phil, did you know I got reborn?"

"Jeffrey also has cinnamon farts because of the mouthwash." Glen added.

"Uh, what?" Phil was not sure what they were all talking about. He sniffed, that smell was so nice. It was making him feel really happy just to smell it. He was still not sure where it was coming from though. It was then that he noticed his flower pot was spewing some kind of fumes. "Hey, what are you doing with my flower pot!" Punk pointed at it with horror on his face.

"Relax man, we're just burning innocence." Jeff said.

"Nuh-huh you mean incest." Mark corrected…or at least tried to correct.

"You're burning incest? What?" Poor Phil was getting more confused by the moment. But yet he did start to feel oddly relaxed.

"No dumbo Mark, not incest! Entrance, we are burning entrance. Y'know, that stuff that smells really good that hippies use to cover up their pot smoke." Glen explained.

"Oh. Wait, you're burning incense in my flower pot to cover up pot smoke? You guys! Drugs are bad!" Phil wagged his finger at all of them but he couldn't get very irritated. He just felt so good and floaty and whimsical. He sat down in front of Mark who was playing with his belly button.

"Smells soooo good." Phil slurred and took a deep sniff.

"Why do we have five fingers?" Glen asked holding up his hand and wiggling his fingers. "Why not six? Why not five and four-thirds?"

"You can't have four-thirds of something. There are only three thirds in a third. Didn't you pass high school math?" Mark smacked Glen in the head.

"What's high school?" Glen asked rubbing his head from Mark slapping it. "Oh yeah, it's that place where you get to experiment with cheerleaders."

"Oh yeah hey…I 'member why I came down here I wanted to play 'Merican Idol." Phil slurred. His eyes were now as glassy as the other three. "Then maybe we can get something to eat. I'm hungry."

"Deep fried deep fryer fat." Glen said.

"Okay. But first who wanna play 'Merican Idolatry with me?"

Everyone wanted to play so they turned the game on and started to sing like a bunch of sick cats yowling on a fence.

Matt had decided that playing American Idol in his room was getting boring. He also decided that he better find Jeff because he had ran off with a bong and he was probably getting himself into trouble. Matt searched for Jeff before finally finding him—naked nonetheless—and Glen, Mark, and Phil. They all seemed to be high, even poor Phil. Matt wondered how they managed to get Brooks stoned. He probably didn't even realize he was high. Matt couldn't help but laugh though. Their howling was so horrible, but the song they were singing was appropriate.

"Ooooooh what wouldja think if I sung outta tune?" Mark sang into the mic hitting every bad note.

"Would you stand up and waaaaalk out on me?" Jeff sang while thrusting his hips reminiscent of his entrance dance.

"Lemme yer rears an' I'll sing you a song an' I'll tryeeee not to sing outta keys!" Glen bellowed.

"OH I get by with a little help from my friends! Yes I get HIGH with a little help from my friends!" Phil sang while twirling in a circle and tangling himself up in the chord.

"Yes I get high with a little help from my friends…" All four sang together. "With a little help from mah friiieeeeeeends!"

"Cool, can we eat now?" Mark asked. "Imma hungry!"

_Oh dang, this turned out long! Well hope you enjoyed it despite it being insanely long. This was inspired by my Senior class president in high school. I was just thinking about it today, I had an art class with him and he made a ceramic bong and told the art teacher it was a flower pot. I was even funnier because the art teacher didn't really care, he was a pot head himself. It was pretty funny though. The class president made a bong in art class. Yeah what memories! Lmbo, I loved Mark saying: Ew, navel shit! That really cracked me up. Then Jeff talking about absorbing the house key into his liver I thought was pretty funny too. Lol. Just picturing them high is funny. Who knew what one flower pot could do to four superstars? Tsk tsk. Review please, I hope you lol-ed! :D I did! *CM Punk muse gives 'flower pots' to everyone* heeheehee (by the way, I know nothing about getting stoned. Never have, can only pretend. Lol)_


	20. Chapter 20

_Much thanks to my reviewers: extremediva54, iNdy MiLk, Dark Kaneanite, TVL, and Divine Arion._

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 20: The Death of "Food with Fight", Chat #6, The Philosophical Underground Meets Again

McMahon was just about ready to cancel his failing cooking show 'Food with Fight'. It had seemed like a good idea on paper but he had failed to take into consideration that most of his superstars and divas couldn't cook to save their lives. After the disturbing so called 'protein shake' made by Batista (which resulted with the stage kitchen needing aired out for a loooong time), there was Rey who made enchiladas. They actually turned out excellent but Rey zipped around the kitchen so fast he was just a small little blur and the show was finished before its slotted thirty minutes. The next show was Jillian who was making a cake. While it was baking she decided to take her opportunity to sing, ratings dropped dramatically as people switched off their t.v.'s or threw heavy objects at them. Not only did the ratings drop but so did Jillian's cake, (it was most likely traumatized by her vocals) so that show was just another disaster. After Jillian were Jesse and Festus who were going to make biscuits and gravy. Unfortunately, Jesse was making the sausage gravy while the biscuits were cooking. This was unfortunate because while he was doing this the timer for the biscuits went off and so did Festus. He grabbed the pan of gravy and flung it at the shrieking camera crew who then had to be treated for burns. Festus did a number destroying the kitchen and McMahon was less than happy about that fiasco. He was still not ready to admit that his idea was a stinker so he dished out money to fix up the kitchen and continue on with the show.

The week after the kitchen was repaired McMahon was sure he knew the perfect way to get show ratings up. He brought in Stone Cold Steve Austin for the show. He was right about the ratings sky rocketing, but that's because Stone Cold decided he would show the viewers how to brew their own beer. McMahon decided to ignore the fact that Stone Cold demonstrated how to make a home made brewery, he chose instead to focus on the high ratings and continue on with the show. The week after that was Glamarella. Santino wanted to make pizza which didn't work too well because Beth kept managing to hit him in the groin with literally everything but the kitchen sink. McMahon was sure that if that woman didn't let up on him that Santino was going to end up paralyzed or something.

So, this weeks show was now at hand. Who was the lucky contestant to be subjected to McMahon's stupid cooking show?

"I look gay." Glen groaned as he looked down at the apron he was wearing. "Kiss The Cook. It should say "Kiss My Ass"."

"Glen, cooperate with me on this. It's imperative, this is either going to make or break this show!" McMahon barked.

"Okay, okay I get it. What am I supposed to cook anyway? Can I just make a peanut butter sandwhich?"

"No, we've already been through that with Mark. No peanut butter sandwhiches." McMahon grouched.

"Um, peanut butter and jelly?" Glen asked hopefully.

"NO! If you can make it in less than five minutes it's not allowed on my show!" McMahon turned on his heel and left Glen wondering what to do. He got a mental image of himself trying to bake bread and getting attacked by it like an old I Love Lucy episode. Maybe he wouldn't do bread.

"Here, make this." A woman handed him a recipe card and prodded him out onto the set. He looked over the card with a card trying to make heads or tales of it.

"Psst…we're on!" Someone hissed.

"Huh? Oh!" Glen blinked into the camera. For some reason he felt nervous which was uncharacteristic , but it was also uncharacteristic for him to be cooking in front of a world wide audience. "Er…hi." He was also unsure about whether or not he was supposed to be in character. He imagined he was because when Mark was on the cooking show they had him dressed as The Undertaker. Glen lapsed into Kane mode and hoped he was scaring everyone at home so they wouldn't watch this ignorant show anymore. Why McMahon had ever conceived such an idea in the first place was beyond him.

"Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees." He mumbled to himself. He turned to the stove and messed with some of the buttons and dials.

"Psst…talk to the audience, tell them what you're doing!" The camera man hissed again.

"Oh. I'm trying to figure out this damn machine…maybe I should just use my powers. It would be a lot easier then this piece of garbage!" He glared at the oven and turned the knob to hard. It snapped off with a crack. "Ha-ha…oops…" He shrugged and tossed it aside trying not to look worried that he just destroyed the new oven McMahon had spent a lot of money on.

"Um, then I have to mix a bunch of crap up in a bowl." _This is so stupid, why would you make a show like this? WHY? _He put everything in a large bowl and then found a mixer. He turned it on full blast and sprayed the mixture all over himself and the kitchen.

"Ggggrrrr!" He threw the mixer across the room and grabbed a towel to wipe his face off. "If you're making this for your special someone, then you could add a good pinch of arsenic for flavoring." He grinned evilly. "I prefer rat poison myself. The reaction is horribly amusing." He laughed Kane's sinister laugh. "Luckily for you, you can find it at your local Wal-Mart probably."

Glen dumped the lumpy batter into a pan and shoved it in the oven.

"Meanwhile, I'm going to cook bacon because I know how to do that and because I'm hungry and I like bacon."

"Psst…don't cook bacon, it's not part of the show!" The camera man admonished.

"I said, I am frying bacon!" Glen dumped the bacon into a pan on the stove. "I am making it beause I'm hungry, if any of you lumps at home has a problem with it then change the channel and watch Emeril!"

"Psst…the bacon!" The camera man warned again. Glen chose to ignore him.

"As for the other crap I just showed you to make, you wait for a while and it's done. Then you feed it to Rey—I mean that special someone, and watch as your poison of choice takes affect and your unsuspecting prey begins to writhe around in the beautifully morbid pains of oncoming death."

"Psst…psst! Smoke!" The camera man whispered.

"It would even make a nice holiday present. Are you tired of pesky family and neighbors bringing holiday food to your door twenty four hours a day? Give them the gift that take their breath away! Hahaha! You'll never get another awful, stone-like fruit cake ever again! Never!"

"GLEN!"

"FIRE!"

"Huh?" It was just then that he noticed the flames shooting from the oven. "Oh…well that's not supposed to happen." In attempt to quell the fire Glen grabbed the sprayer from the sink and sprayed the pan of bacon.

"You idiot, you don't put water on a grease fire!" Someone else yelled.

"What am I supposed to do!" Glen pulled cabinets open hoping to find a fire extinguisher. Meanwhile the hungry flames spread to the counter melting it and catching the quaint little curtains ablaze. The camera went off ending the catastrophe of a show.

"You dumbass! You burned down my kitchen!" McMahon screamed storming over to Glen who bit his lip.

"Uh, well I stayed in character…"

Glen decided to lock himself in his hotel room for the rest of the day. Otherwise he would be relentlessly harassed by the other superstars, especially Mark who was just itching for a good something to pick on Glen about. After being alone in his room for five hours he was getting insanely bored so decided to chat.

**RoughAroundTheEdges: **…then I found Santino crouching in the elevator trying to make coffee out of Beth's vibrator! Lmao!

**BallsofJericho:** He'll never get it will he?

**BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed has been added to chat**

**HeartbreakKitten:** Hi Glennnnn!

**RoughAroundTheEdges:** So, you like bacon do ya Glen?

**BallsofJericho:** teehee! *snort*

**BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed:** So, Adam you like a fist in your face do ya?

**RoughAroundTheEdges: **Aw, someone's cranky

**BallsofJericho: **At least McMahon is going to cancel the show now. I'm glad because I was supposed to be on next week. If Glen hadn't burned down the kitchen first I might have considered it.

**DarkLordTaker has been added to chat**

**DarkLordTaker: **At last! I have something to tease Glen about forever! Bwahahahaha!

**HeartbreakKitten:** Give him a break guys, I mean everyone knows you're supposed to throw water on a grease fire. (note sarcasm) *muffled laughter*

**BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: **Et tu Shawn? I'm surprised and saddened that you are joining these idiots in their juvenile behavior. We are all adults here and thus should behave as such.

**RoughAroundTheEdges: **I just farted!!!

**BallsofJericho:** Adults? Where? *looks around chat room confused*

**HeartbreakKitten: **Glen's right

**DarkLordTaker: **No, Glen is never right

**JustaBigLover has been added to chat**

**JustaBigLover: **McMahon is livid, did you hear about Glen going pyromaniac on the kitchen?

**BallsofJericho: **I was the first to know, the Great Jericho knows all

**RoughAroundTheEdges: **How do you do that Chris?

**BallsofJericho: **I am magical and amazing

**BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: **I think he's a shape shifter who can morph into a fly and sit on a wall and watch until something juicy happens then *poof* the next nanosecond later the whole damn world knows about it!

**HeartbreakKitten: **Or it could be the fact that it happened on t.v. and a gazillion people saw it.

**BallsofJericho: **I can shape shift? Wicked awesome! *Is sitting in room trying to shape-shift*

**RoughAroundTheEdges: **I farted again!

**BallsofJericho has logged off**

**JustaBigLover:** Someone needs to go tell Chris that he can't shape shift

**HeartbreakKitten: **Why? It's keeping him occupied and out of trouble why meddle?

**JustaBigLover: **I like to meddle. Shawn you better come work for me later employee, I have a task for you *smirk*

**JustaBigLover has logged off**

**HeartbreakKitten: ***groan*

**HeartbreakKitten has logged off**

**RoughAroundTheEdges: **Wait, I thought that thing with John and Shawn was just a storyline… O_o

**DarkLordTaker: **Well we thought Glen's powers were kayfabe too but obviously after today…

**BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: **Mark! I'll light you up like a Christmas tree!

**DarkLordTaker: **Try me, I dare ya!

**DarkLordTaker has logged off**

**BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: **He did not just dare me to take him on!

**BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed has logged off**

**RoughAroundTheEdges: **I farted again!

**VoiceofanAngel has been added to chat**

**VoiceofanAngel: **Hi Adam! Are you coming to Philosophical Underground tonight?

**RoughAroundTheEdges: **Hi Jillian…sure

**RoughAroundTheEDges: **What's up with your name?

**VoiceofanAngel: **What do you mean, it's VoiceofanAngel.

**RoughAroundTheEdges: **That's exactly what I mean

**VoiceofanAngel: **Well let's go, the meeting is starting in ten minutes

**VoiceofanAngel has logged off**

**RoughAroundTheEdges has logged off**

Ten minutes later

Cena burst into the room excitedly. Jillian had promised him brownies this time if he came to the meeting. It's not that Cena had a lot of philosophical philosophies to contribute but Jillian just wanted to increase the size of her group.

"Broooowwwwnies!" Cena shouted rushing around the room looking for a tray of yummy goodness. "Where?" Cena tossed some chips and bottles of cola onto the floor. Some of the cola sprayed from the bottle and soaked Mark.

"Hey, watch it Doctor of Dumbanomics!" Mark grabbed Glen's sleeve and mopped his face with it.

"Excuse me, do I look like a towel?"

"Yes. You look exactly like a big bald towel." Mark said and continued to wipe up the cola.

"Broooownies!" John tore around the room throwing around couch cushions and overturning flower pots (not bongs but actually real life flower pots). "Where? Where are the brownies?" He poked his lip out in a pout.

"I told Beth to make them." Jillian turned to Beth who bit her lip.

"Er…Glen burned down my kitchen!" She tried as an excuse. Glen jerked his sleeve away from Mark and glared at Beth.

"I only burned down one kitchen today thank you very much!" Glen huffed.

"You forgot my brownies? Cena sad…Cena go away…for a long time."

"Amen!" Hunter shouted. "I mean…oh how tragic. Why ever would we want Cena to go away for a long time?"

"Can we please start the meeting?" Jillian said trying to get everyone in order. "Laaaa!"

With that shrill note everyone quieted and clapped their hands over their ears.

"What are we going to talk about today?" Shawn asked sitting up on his knees excitedly.

"I farted!" Adam yelled happily. Santino and Beth waved their hands around in the air with looks of disgust on their faces and scooted away from Adam.

"Please keep the functions of your ass hole to yourself." Hunter coughed.

"My asshole has many functions. Number one function of Adam's asshole--" He began to count on his fingers but was interrupted.

"SHUT UP!" Several voices yelled.

"I think we should talk about aliens. I had a dream last night about getting inducted by aliens." Miz said nodding gravely.

"Inducted, don't you-a mean absconded?" Santino asked.

"No, he means abducted. You know, like kidnapped." Mark explained.

"The problem is, I think it was a dream but I'm not sure. What if I really did get inducted--"

"Abducted." Mark corrected again.

"Yeah if I did then how would I know? I have felt kind of nauseous today." Miz lay a hand on his tummy and looked down at it warily.

"That just means you're pregnant." Beth laughed teasing.

"W-with an alien baby? Oh no! It's going to tear my abs apart and explode out of my gut like a little gooey monster!" Miz fell on the floor rolling around clutching at his stomach.

"What abs?" Morrison asked with a chuckle.

"If you die can I have your pet wombat?" Ken Kennedy asked poking Miz's foot. "It would get along well with my invisible pussy."

"Invisible WHAT?" Beth screeched.

"Invisible cat."

"Oh please, we are not starting that again." Jeff said rolling his eyes and laying back on his elbows.

"Guys, seriously. Miz isn't going to die unless it's possible to die of stupidity. If that is the case then I'll be expecting to attend a lot of funerals in the near future." Mark deadpanned.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Shawn asked narrowing his eyes.

"Exactly." Mark nodded.

"I bet Mark could get rid of that alien in your stomach Miz." Cena said looking from Miz to Mark who was slapping himself in the head.

"Listen, this is a philosophy club right? So lets try actually thinking about this for a moment…what in the hell would an alien want with Mike 'The Miz'?"

"W-what if I too have an alien in my belly…maybe that's why I'm farting a lot!" Adam leaped to his feet terrified and looked down at his stomach which gurgled. "Oh no!"

"I need a t-shirt that says I'm surrounded by idiots." Mark groaned.

"Mark is right though. What would an alien want with Mike? If an alien was going to abduct one of us I think he would abduct Cena." Morrison said grinning at John who was still moping over his lack of brownies.

"Me? Why?"

"You're supposed to be the perfect man right?"

"I am now known as the _im_perfect man…severely imperfect…just incase any aliens decide to make contact and woosh me up into their spaceship." John looked up nervously as though he expected a saucer to crash through the ceiling at any moment and beam him away.

"Here's a question. If some aliens showed up right now and wanted to take one of us who would we vote to go?" Hunter asked the group.

"Oh, I nominate Miz just so we can get rid of him for good." Glen said smirking at the younger man who was still convulsing on the floor.

"That's mean. They'd just send him back anyway and then they'd have to choose someone else. Miz would annoy them to death before they even got away from Earth's gravity." Morrison said patting his partners leg. "There there, don't worry Mizzy. I think your guts are free of extra terrestrial beings."

"Y'know, it might not be so bad to have an alien baby." Shawn said rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "It might even be kinda cute."

"Yeah, cute like Mike Knox." Beth laughed.

"But…Mike Knox isn't cute…" Shawn drew his brows together confused.

"Ah, the funeral bells of stupidity ring again, I will be going to Shawn's funeral very shortly I think." Mark patted Shawn on the shoulder who now looked more confused than ever.

"Back to the aliens and who they should abduct. I think the aliens should take me because people who get abducted by aliens always get anal probed and I think that would be exotic and fun."

Everyone turned to Adam who had said this. He looked around at everyone and then burst out in a huge grin.

"Ha! I farted again!"

Some of them chuckled, some waved their hands around dramatically while grimacing, and Jillian got up to open a window.

"Do that on a spaceship and let the aliens crack a window. That way he'll get sucked into space and he'll explode into many gooey pieces and we'll never have to see him again. How morbidly wonderful." Glen said giving Adam a creepy look.

"Glen, earth to Glen. You're going Kane on us." Mark said shaking Glen's big shoulders.

"Oh, sorry."

"That's it! I have the perfect solution!" Beth waved her finger at Glen. "If aliens come to us and want one of us we should give them Glen!"

"But why me?" Glen bellowed, not wanting to be the sacrificial lamb.

"Because," Beth said with a knowing little grin. "He'd burn the spaceship down before it even got off the ground. End of space ship, end of aliens, no one gets anal probed--"

"I will never in my life live this down." Glen groaned.

"No anal probes?" Adam's shoulders fell dejectedly.

"And as I was saying before I was interrupted," Beth glared at Glen and then Adam. "No one would get anal probed or abducted. Problem solved."

_Review plz Sorry I promised more the other night then didn't. It was Jericho muse again, he screwed up my mojo by bugging me to make a fic with him paired with Adam. Lol. Hope you enjoyed._


	21. Chapter 21

_Sorry I keep using Glen and Mark a lot but they're my favorites, along with Shawn. I'm going to try to use Shawn more…I think he will be in the next chapter. BellaHickenbottom will be glad to know that lol ;) And for iNdy MiLk, Jeff is in this one a little, I will try to use him more too. If you guys want to let me know who you like in silly style you can let me know and I'll try to use them. I already know who TVL and DK and takers dark lover likes so I don't think they will complain that I use Kane and Taker a lot. :) Of course thank you all for the nice comments, I'm really glad people find these funny. It's cool to make people laugh. Thanks to: iNdy MiLk, takers dark lover, Dark Kaneanite, Sinfully Sined, Divine Arion, and TVL for reviews on the last chapter. :D _

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 21

Mark was creeping down the hallway in the dead of night. Despite being a big man he was good at hiding in the shadows and making his passage quiet and un-noticed. In his head he was pretending to be Gandalf from Lord of the Rings. He had just watched all three movies twice in one day and was now obsessed with it. He had borrowed them from Finlay who wanted them back. When Mark refused to give them back Finlay clubbed him with his shillelagh and took off with the dvds. Mark was now on a mission to steal the dvds back. Of course, he could just go rent them but he always had nightmares of forgetting to return movies and then horrible creatures in black trench coats and fedora hats would chase him around with machine guns. So if at all avoidable Mark never rented movies. The few times that he did rent movies he used a fake name.

Meanwhile, Glen was also sneaking around making his way quietly to Jeff's room. He was hoping Jeff still had the bong—er—flowerpot. Glen rounded the corner and ran into someone in the darkness. With a loud "OOF!" they both fell over each other.

"Fool of a Took, throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!" Mark bellowed quoting a line from The Lord of The Rings.

"Whoah, I must be trippin' and I haven't even been to Jeff's room yet. Gandalf?"

"It is I, Takeralf the badass wizard!" Mark explained. "Glen, what are you doing running into a wizard, don't you know any better?"

"Sorry." Glen said picking himself up and laughing. "Takeralf? Sound's like something guys would yell at a bar, 'taker 'er off, taker 'er off!" Glen mimicked.

"That's not funny."

"Well, move out of my way Takeralf. I'm going somewhere if you don't mind." Glen started to push past Mark but Mark held him back and pretended to raise an invisible staff over his head and then slam it down with a crash.

"You shall not pass!"

"I'll tell Shawn that you rented all the Harry Potter movies on his BlockBuster account and never turned them in." Glen grinned at Mark in the dark.

"How do you know about my deviant acts of video rental?" Mark narrowed his eyes at Glen.

"Chris told me. The Great Jericho knows everything." Glen smirked and shoved past Mark.

"That was weird." Mark mumbled and then continued on to Finlay's room. He knocked on the door then ran and hid in the shadows trying not to giggle.

"Wot? Whose knockin' on me bluidy door?" Finlay peered into the darkness scratching his head. After a few moments he yawned and left the door. Mark managed to rush back before it had closed all the way and stick his toe in to keep it just cracked open. He waited until he heard Finlay snoring softly and then crept into the room. He was doing rather good at this, perhaps after his days with wrestling were over he should consider becoming a bank robber.

Mark spied Finlay's suitcase at the foot of his bed and figured that the movies were probably in there. Mark tip-toed over to the suitcase and quietly unzipped it. He stifled a laugh when he pulled out an adult diaper. Why would Finlay have _that?_ He tossed it aside. Next he found a pink rubber ducky, an extra shillelagh, a copy of Dr. Phil's book 'Love Smart', and a bottle of extra strength Viagra. Mark bit into his hand and snorted at the bottle. Finlay stirred a bit, mumbled in his sleep, but thankfully did not wake up. Finally Mark saw a stash of dvd's and grabbed them. He headed quickly out the door and once in the hallway did a victory dance.

"What in the hell?" Batista was stumbling down the hallway from a fun night out. He pressed a hand to his head. "Take, what are you doing? Last time I saw you dancing in a hallway you were in a woman's nightie."

"Nothing, nothing at all. I didn't steal anyones Lord of the Rings dvds." Mark clapped his hand over his mouth.

"No…what's that then?" Batista snatched the dvds away.

"Hey! Give those back, they're mine…well…not exactly but, give 'em back anyway!"

"Heh, Mark I can't believe you!" Batista laughed. "You actually like this stuff? I could never picture you watching this!"

"I love those movies, don't make fun!" Mark snagged the three dvds back.

"Whatever floats you dingy." Batista shrugged and wobbled on past Mark who scowled at him. What was so wrong with liking Lord of the Rings? Mark looked down at the dvds in his hand and turned red. They were _not _Lord of the Rings. The titles read: Stripping 101, Pole Dancing for Beginners, and Finding Nemo.

"Ah man! I can't believe Finlay has this garbage!" Mark left Finding Nemo at Finlay's door and took the other two movies to his room.

"Jeff, open up!" Glen banged his fist on Jeff's door like a maniac.

"Hey, what do you want?" Matt opened the door rubbing his squinty eyes. His dark curly hair fuzzed up all around him. "Don't you know its night time and people are sleeping? You do sleep, right Glen?"

"Sleep is for the weak." Glen said shoving past Matt. "Jeff, wake up!" Glen grabbed Jeff's shoulders and started shaking.

"Aaaaah! I'm being attacked by a monster! Matt, help!"

"It's not a monster Jeff, it's just Glen." Matt grumbled as he climbed back into his bed.

"Huh…oh. What are you doing in my room?" Jeff sat up from bed and ran a hand through his rainbow hair.

"Can I please, please borrow the bo—flower pot?" Glen made a puppy face at Jeff who rolled his eyes.

"No you can't."

"I will choke slam you so hard you'll think you were hit by a train!" Glen shouted.

"Dude, calm down. You act like a junkie."

Glen narrowed his eyes at Jeff and curled his fist.

"It doesn't matter anyway, the security at the airport confiscated it and smashed it to shards." Jeff said with a shrug and yawn.

"Nooo!" Glen wailed. If he had any hair he would have pulled it out.

"Sorry. That's the way the bong crumbles."

"Can you two shut up? Matt Hardy is trying to sleep. Matt Hardy likes his sleep. Matt Hardy gets pissed at little brother when he doesn't get sleep." Matt mumbled from under his covers.

"We have to find Phil and get another flower pot!" Glen shrieked, the remembered Matt and lowered his voice to a whisper. "Must…have…flower pot!"

"Well, Phil didn't show up. No one knows where he is." Jeff explained. "We've all been trying to get a hold of him and he wont answer his phone."

"No, must have! I have bugs crawling under my skin!" Glen started to run his fingers up and down his arms frantically.

"You are such a drama king, you are completely exaggerating. You got stoned one time Glen, get a hold of yourself. You don't have bugs under your skin." Jeff grabbed Glen's hands to keep him from scratching his arms.

"Oh…well maybe I just need to shower then." Glen tore his hand from Jeff's, lifted his arm, and sniffed. "Yeah, definitely need to shower."

"If you guys aren't going to shut up, then I'm going to turn on the t.v. and leave it on all night because Jeff hates it. I'll make it worse, I'll turn it on the news!" Matt growled reaching to the nightstand to grab the remote control.

"No! Matt I swear, Glen was just leaving! Please don't do that to me, I hate the news!"

"Too late." Matt clicked on the t.v. and found a news channel. The low voice of the news anchor came out sternly.

"This just in, professional WWE wrestler Phil Brooks, better known to fans as CM Punk, was arrested today in his Chicago home. Police say they were called to the residence by Mr. Brooks himself after his cat Pandora became stuck in the toilet. When police entered the residence, they allegedly found over two hundred bongs in the possession of Mr. Brooks who claimed the alleged bongs were flower pots. Police have arrested Brooks and are holding him in custody for over two hundred counts of possession of drug paraphernalia. Police also suspect Mr. Brooks of dealing. More information will be released upon further investigation. We contacted Vincent Kennedy McMahon, owner of WWE for a statement regarding Mr. Brooks alleged criminal activity. His statement was: AaAaAaAaRrRrRgGgG! and then there was a loud thump. We suspect he suffered a coronary. Now, onto breaking news! America still hates president George W. Bush…"

Matt switched the t.v. off and turned to stare wordlessly at Jeff and Glen. Suddenly, Jeff and Glen burst out laughing.

"This is not funny, poor Phil!" Matt frowned.

"Who in the hell calls the police when their cat gets stuck in the toilet?" Jeff howled as Glen fell on the floor laughing.

_I absolutely love the name Pandora for a cat. If I had a cat I would name her Pandora. Lol, poor Philly. Taker thinks he's Gandalf? _

_Taker Muse: No, no, I'm Takeralf! Get it right miss fic writer!_

_Wrestlefan4: Yes sir, please don't turn me into a toad or anything unnatural!_

_I love LOTR!!! Reviews plz and thnkz!_


	22. Chapter 22

_This is inspired by Dark Kaneanite :) Thank you darlings for your reviews: triple s, cenalova-54-8284, TVL, takers dark lover, Dark Kaneanite, Leesa, Divine Arion. Special thanks to triple s who made some fan art inspired by this fic. It's really cool you can check it out on my profile page, I have a link. I tried posting the links here but they didn't work. I also did a little sketch that has to do with the chapter "Someone Kill The Spider" because it is one of my faves so far and theres a link for that too . I also have a lot of stuff like this on my profile, I have banners and such that I have made for other fics. If any of you have checked them out let me know what you think. My fav banner is one I did for Wizard of Raw, it took forever I think it turned out cute. :) Anyway on to Silly Style, enjoy!!! Xhugs!x_

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 22: Chat #7 aka Discussion of Cena's Rear

EdgeySledgey: Guess what guys?

BallsofJericho: Lemme guess, you farted?

EdgeySledgey: No, not today. I noticed John Cena's butt!

FoleyxInnaxCell: Come on, that's wrong

JustaBigLover: I notice everyones ass

FoleyxInnaxCell: *covers ass*

EdgeySledgey: I didn't really notice it until I was reading fanfics

BallsofJericho: No way, you read that garbage?

JustaBigLover: Reading garbage is fun. But I only read the ones with Jericho slash

BallsofJericho: What's slash? Like I get ripped to pieces by a killer?

JustaBigLover: Er…not exactly teehee

FoleyxInnaxCell: It's gay sex

JustaBigLover: How do you know?

FoleyxInnaxCell: I plead the fifth! *zips lip*

EdgeySledgey: But this one writer keeps talking about Cena's ass so I just looked at it the other day and I was like, damn!

SimmonsSaysItBest has been added to chat

SimmonsSaysItBest: No, please allow me…

SimmonsSaysItBest:…

SimmonsSaysItBest:…DAMN!

SimmonsSaysItBest has logged out

BallsofJericho: Y'know, I was just looking at my Cena porn on my computer and he really DOES have a huge di—I mean ass!

FoleyxInnaxCell: Chris scares me! *cowers* And nothing scares me, not even Taker throwing me from a 16 foot Cell onto the announcers table, where I dislocate my shoulder and keep on with the match. Or when the roof of the cage breaks and I bust my teeth, bruise my kidney, dislocate my jaw, well you get the picture.

JustaBigLover: Can you email me some of your porn Chris?

BallsofJericho: No, but I'll email you some porn of Adam

EdgeySledgey: Hey! :O

EdgeySledgey: Since when am I in porn?

BallsofJericho: Since I stalked you in the shower

EdgeySledgey: …oh

BallsofJericho: And in your bed

EdgeySledgey: But back to Cena's butt

BallsofJericho: And in your rental car

EdgeySledgey: Ahem!

JustaBigLover: Just got email, damn, that's hot!

FoleyxInnaxCell: Someone remind me why I'm still in this chat?

EdgeySledgey: Can we please get back to Cena's hiney?

EdgeySledgey: I was wondering if he has ass implants like Morrison has ab implants

JustaBigLover: Morrison doesn't have ab implants. They're tattooed on.

BallsofJericho: What?! Are you sure?

JustaBigLover: Yes, I was very close to them once.

FoleyxInnaxCell: You think Cena's booty is tattooed on too? That would be hilarious!

EdgeySledgey: Would take a lot of ink to make an ass that big!

BallsofJericho: Ba-donk-a-dink?

EdgeySledgey: Ba-donk-a-DONK!

FoleyxInnaxCell: LMAO! Yeah, I am laughing my ass off, but I figure it's okay. I'll just have a shapelier one tattooed back.

JustaBigLover: Lol

BallsofJericho: That's ridiculous though, it couldn't be tattooed on. I bet he doesn't really have a big butt at all. I bet it's small and he's just over compensating by wearing a butt-bra with push up padding.

FoleyxInnaxCell: LMAO again!!

EdgeySledgey: A butt bra? Hm…interesting.

BallsofJericho: Might even be a water butt-bra.

FoleyxInnaxCell: I'll get him in a match and drop him on some tacks. If his ass starts leaking then we know the truth! *shakes bag of tacks* I am so ready!!

JustaBigLover: *dies laughing*

EdgeySledgey: It could be that he has inflatable ass cheeks.

FoleyxInnaxCell: *gets vision of weird carnival game, pop Cena's balloon butt and win a stuffed animal that smells like old cheese*

BallsofJericho: Hurry kids, just one dollar! One dollar gets ya four darts, toss 'em at that guys ass, pop his cheeks, and win a prize!

JustaBigLover: I wanna pop Cena's ass!

EdgeySledgey: That so didn't sound right

JustaBigLover: I know ;)

EdgeySledgey: Ew, he winked at me *shudder*

CenaSezSTFU has been added to the chat

CenaSezSTFU: Hi guys!

BallsofJericho: Speak of the devil!

JustaBigLover: *snickers*

FoleyxInnaxCell: The devil, oh did Mark come in here?

CenaSezSTFU: What are you guys talking about tonight?

EdgeySledgey: OoOoOoOh…nothing *innocent angel*

BallsofJericho: If Adam is an innocent angel, then I hate glitter

JustaBigLover: Hey Cena, when you walk backwards do you make a beeping sound like a truck backing up?

FoleyxInnaxCell: LMAO again!!

CenaSezSTFU: …huh?

BallsofJericho: I know! His ass is detachable, that's what it is!

EdgeySledgey: *laughing so much it hurts*

JustaBigLover: Don't leave your ass lying around unattended Cena, or I will steal it

CenaSezSTFU: WHAT??

FoleyxInnaxCell: Look John, don't listen to those guys. They're a buncha punks.

CenaSezSTFU: Thank you Mick, at least someone cares.

FoleyxInnaxCell: No problem. Hey, wanna have a match with me kid?

CenaSezSTFU: Yeah!!!

FoleyxInnaxCell: Well go get ready!

CenaSezSTFU has logged off

JustaBigLover: Are you going to drop him on tacks?

FoleyxInnaxCell: Yep

BallsofJericho: Let us know if his ass leaks

EdgeySledgey: Or pops

JustBigLover: Or if it detaches, in which case I'm stealing it

FoleyxInnaxCell: Will do

FoleyxInnaxCell has logged out

_Wow, now DK has me on a roll with Cena's butt. I just finished this an already thought of a future Cena butt joke to use. LOL! :D_


	23. Chapter 23

_Thank you to everyone who reads and reviews, you are all amazingly freakin' awesome!!! For those who have also read Wizard of RAW which is now completed, I just want to thank you so much for reading and reviewing that story and I'm glad you all enjoyed it. Thanks also to those who read/reviewed the last chapter of Silly Style:cenalova-54-8284, xoxEdgeLoverxox, BellaHickenbottom, Dark Kaneanite, triple s, iNdy MiLk, TVL, Divine Arion, xMayhemx, extremediva54, and takers dark lover. :D This update was inspired by Miz and Morrison on ECW tonight when Morrison made the comment to Miz: What abs? Then Miz said something like: Oh, excuse me but I like to eat a cheeseburger once in a while. Then Mor said: Like what, everyday? Etc…it inspired me to write a chapter about cheeseburgers and absent abs. Enjoy!_

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 23: Ab-less

"I do to have abs!" Miz shouted as he followed Morrison back to the locker room. Morrison flicked his hair and looked Miz up and down.

"Where?" He laughed poking Miz in the belly. Miz pooched his lip out and pouted.

"They're hidden, they're secret abs."

"Right. They are hidden beneath your lack of abs." Morrison said flicking his hair again.

"Well if we were all like you and never ate cheeseburgers, then McDonalds and Burger King and all the fast food places would go out of business. Then no one would buy hamburger, so farmers couldn't sell their cattle, so then they would have to release all of their cows onto the world! The world would be over run with maniac bovine mooing children to death and crapping heaps of manure every where until no one could breathe! If everyone was like you and ate zero cheeseburgers just so they could have abs, then we would all be doomed to death!" Miz grabbed Morrison's shoulders and shook the smaller man dramatically.

"You're a drama queen." Morrison said shoving Miz's hands away.

"Don't you want a cheeseburger? With extra cheese? They're yuuummy!" Miz hopped around excitedly rubbing his belly and salivating.

"Ick. I'm eating tofu." Morrison grabbed a bag from his locker and pulled out a package of tofu.

"Eeeeew! You eat that? It looks like…" Miz peered at the tan square thoughtfully and poked it. "It looks like a little compact square of cat vomit…without the little random mouse bones. No wait, it looks like a piece of flesh surgically removed in a perfect squishy square. Oh my God!" Miz stood back and pointed at the tofu, then at John. "You're a cannibal!"

"Did someone say that-a Johnny the Morrison is a camel?" Santino said coming out of the shower with a rubber ducky clutched in one hand.

"No, a carnival." Said Matt Hardy coming out of the shower with pink hair.

"Dude, your hair." Santino pointed and laughed. "It-a looks like a pretty pretty flower!"

Matt brought a few long strands in front of his face and grimaced.

"Pink…JEEEEFF!" Matt soon disappeared and was assumed to be searching the hallways for his little brother who had been messing with Matt's shampoo.

"Hey did someone say that John Morrison is carnal?" Glen said as he got dressed.

"No, caramel." Randy Orton corrected. "Mmmm…that's a tasty picture."

"NO I am not a camel or a carnival nor am I carnal or caramel! I'm a CANNIBAL!"

"RUN!" Glen shouted and soon everyone was falling over each other to get out of the locker room and away from John Morrison the cannibal.

"No wait, I'm not a cannibal it's just Mike…and then Santino…" John hid his head in his locker and began banging the door on it.

"See, you should definitely go out with me and get a cheeseburger. It would make everything feel better, cheeseburgers are awesome like that." Mike said patting a weeping John on the shoulder.

"No, just leave me and my tofu alone!" John snapped and snatched up his precious tofu. He wiped a tear from his eye.

"Alright. You're loss." Miz shrugged and went to go round up a few people.

Later Miz found himself at Hardees with a pink haired Matt Hardy, Adam Copeland, Manu, and Glen. All were enjoying some wonderful cheeseburgers.

"Cheeseburger in Paradise!" Adam sang grinning happily at his huge, gushing, cheeseburger.

"I'm so happy! If I could put a cheeseburger in a bong and smoke it, I so would!" Glen said chomping on a mouthful.

"That would be the best high ever!" Adam said putting extra mustard on his.

"Gross. Mustard is the shit of condiments. Matt Hardy hates mustard. In fact, Matt Hardy hates Adam Copeland…so therefore I must move." Matt moved his chair in between Glen and Manu. "Also, therefore Adam must be mustard."

"You know what guys? I'm so happy I'm going to sing the cheeseburger song!" Miz announced finishing his second cheeseburger. "Oh cheeseburger so juicy so sweet, oh cheeseburger yeah I love to eat meat!"

Manu snickered and Adam nearly choked on his bite of food when he laughed while chewing.

"Ow, mustard up the nose…not good." Adam groaned.

"Oh cheeseburger, so sexy and greasy…so beautiful and dangerously cheesey! You give me an orgasm when I eat you!"

Now Glen was also choking along with Adam and Manu banged his fist on the table laughing so loud other people turned to stare at them.

"I think I will eat twoooo!" Miz sang loudly. "Oh cheeseburger oh cheeseburger how lovely and fair and fine, oh cheeseburger oh cheeseburgeeeeeer I vow to make you mine!" Miz finished his song and bowed dramatically. Matt banged Kane on the back who was still choking on his mouthful. Adam was starting to turn blue but Matt only smirked at him.

"Ca…ack…" Adam coughed. "…breathe…ack…breathe!"

"Yes Adam. Breathing is a good thing, unless you are Adam who Matt Hardy hates, which also makes Adam mustard which Matt Hardy also hates." Matt smirked at Adam as he turned even bluer.

Manu grabbed Adam and applied a bear hug until he coughed and started to breathe again.

"Thank…you." Adam croaked.

"Hey, I didn't know you knew CPR!" Miz mused.

"I don't." Manu said pulling the onion off of his burger and giving it to Glen. "Adam just looked like he needed a hug."

"Actually, you probably need a hug." Miz said wrapping himself around Manu sympathetically. "I mean, you failed Randy's test so…I guess you're not part of their group anymore."

"Eh, just screw them…and give me another shot of cheeseburger!" Manu said to a passing waitress. "And not one of those whimpy ones, make it a double!"

"Man, that's a lot of cheeseburger and you've already had a lot tonight. Are you sure that's a good idea?" Glen asked eyeing Manu with concern.

"What!" Manu snapped back. "I can hold my cheeseburgers!"

"There there, it's okay." Miz said patting Manu's shoulder. "You don't need their stupid clique anyway. Y'know we could start a stable of our own. Who says we can't have our own group!"

"Us?" Glen said looking around. "Let's see…no."

"Aw, why not? I wanna be part of a group…except without Hawkins and Ryder. Don't tell them I said that either." Adam whispered the last part and darted his eyes around to make sure that somehow the duo was not around to hear the offensive comment.

"Matt Hardy hates mustard, which is also Adam. Therefore if Adam is in a group, Matt Hardy cannot be in that group. Matt Hardy does not align himself with mustard."

"Look, we can all get along can't we?"

"I chokeslammed you not too long ago for going after Kelly." Glen reminded Miz.

"Come on, that was just a story line. We're all real people here." Manu said.

"Oh boy, I'm a real boy!" Adam said in falsetto.

"That was not a storyline!" Glen pouted. "I really like Kelly and damn it, she said my head is too bumpy and that Miz's head is less bumpy so…I chokeslammed Miz in hopes his head would become more bumpy and then Kelly wouldn't like him."

"Wow." Said Manu as the waitress put his double cheeseburger in front of him.

"Listen, we can all put our differences aside for one common thing…and that one thing is before us now." Miz motioned to the massive, glorious, grease-dripping, cow flesh that was before Manu.

"Our common bond is the cheeseburger…" Manu thought rubbing his goatee. "You have a point."

"That's not all!" Miz pulled up his shirt revealing his stomach to those around the table. "None of us have abs. We know how it feels to be outcasts in a world full of dangerously chiseled abs. I have John to remind me of that, Glen you have Marky Mark, Manu you have Randy and Cody. Matt you have your arch nemesis Mark Henry and Adam you have Vicki!" Miz climbed up on his chair and spoke passionately to his friends.

"Since when does Henry have abs?" Matt said with a chuckle.

"Dude, Vicki definitely doesn't have abs…she just has blubber laced with stretch marks. Uuugh." Adam shuddered.

"Hey, I am trying to eat do you mind?" Glen growled at Adam who pressed his lips tight together.

"Just go with it, okay?" Miz said. "See, we are all lacking those certain toned muscles that others flaunt. We are shunned and humiliated because our bellies are jellies, we are the ab-less! We should be proud damn it!"

Matt and Adam stood up at the same time and began cheering and whistling, until they realized they were both doing that together, then they glared at each other and sat down.

"Ab-less." Manu pondered. "I like it. It reminds me of Cody and Ted's entrance 'Priceless'. I think I will make a parody of their song and call it 'Abless' then that can be our entrance."

"Sweet!" Glen said beginning to like the idea.

"Oh! Our catch phrase, instead of saying 'Be Jealous' as I always do, I will now say--" Miz ran a hand over his belly and looked smugly at the people around them. "Be Ab-less!"

"I'm in!" Glen said and lay his hand over Manu's double cheeseburger.

"Me too." Manu said resting his hand atop Glen's. That was shortly followed by Miz's hand. Matt and Adam stared coldly across the table at each other.

"Come on guys, for all the cheeseburgers of the world, for all the ab-less of the world, for them!" Miz pleaded, with tears in his eyes.

"Alright, I'm in." Adam placed his hand over Miz's leaving Matt the last man out. Matt chewed his lip for a few moments then sighed.

"Matt Hardy hates mustard…but Matt Hardy loves cheeseburgers, and Matt Hardy has become ab-less. So, Matt Hardy is in."

"We swear on this cheeseburger!" Miz announced. "Ab-less forever!"

_Please review!!! Hope you lol'ed…I like cheeseburgers. Review and I will send you a cheeseburger yay! ;) (if you are a vegetarian then I will rob Morrison of his tofu and send you that in place of cheeseburger)_


	24. Chapter 24

_Many thanks and love for the reviewers! Woot you guys rock: Divine Arion, Dark Kaneanite, Jasmine Delilah-Renesmee, salliesims, HighFlyinJeffHardy, iNdy MiLk, BellaHickenbottom, cenalova-54-8284, coolchic79260, takers dark lover, xMayhemx, and Sinfully Sined. :D _

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 24: The Pepto-bismal Kid, Punks Adventure in Jail, "Parsley"

"Jeff, I am going to kill you! Look at my lovely ebony tresses! They're bubblegum pink!" Matt ranted stomping around the hotel room angrily. Jeff sat on the bed ignoring Matt's ire by studying his lap top. "Are you listening, do you care?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?" Jeff asked smirking at his older brother. Matt snatched the laptop away and threatened to toss it out the window. "Hey, don't be irate bro. I wanted to show you something. I put a poll on my myspace page about your hair and guess what? Everyone likes it pink." Jeff stated reaching for his computer which was in grave peril of immediate and nasty death. Matt narrowed his eyes disbelieving.

"This is gross, you actually expect me to believe that people like it?"

"Look for yourself." Jeff shrugged and waited until Matt's curiosity got the better of him. Sure enough, Jeff had a poll on his myspace page: Is Matt's hair better boring *yawn* or is it better Pinkalicious! According to the poll pink was 95% better than boring.

"You don't think I look like an idiot?"

"Of course not. I dye my hair all the time and I don't look like an idiot do I?" Jeff asked taking down his ponytail and shaking out his rainbow mane. Matt smirked. "Don't answer that."

"You don't have to have rainbow hair to look like an idiot Jeffro." Matt teased.

"I am Jeff Hardy, and I am loved." Jeff said sarcastically.

"You know, maybe I should embrace this. After all, it is permanent." Matt glared at Jeff who just shrugged. "Or I could get it stripped out right?"

"You don't want to do that." Jeff warned placing a hand on his brother's shoulder and engaging him in a serious, concerned, expression. "Do you know that the leading cause of all hair related injury is due to stripping? It is dangerous and each year millions of people are marred and psychologically scarred by the ill effects of stripping. I mean, hair stripping."

"Are you sure?"

"Matt, you're my brother!" Jeff exclaimed dropping his eyes and looking hurt. "I just don't want you to be one of those statistics."

"Then I guess I really do have no choice but to embrace it!" Matt stood up on the bed and puffed up proudly. "I am Matt Hardy, the Pepto-bismal Kid!"

"Yes!" Jeff cheered excitedly. Messing with Matt was so much fun.

Glen sat in the hotel lobby pet-sitting for Miz. Miz wanted to go to an adult bookstore and didn't think such content was appropriate for the eyes of his Woody. That was the name of his pet woodchuck which Glen was now feeding toothpicks.

"It really does chuck a lot of wood." Glen mumbled as the pet started to gnaw on the wood floor. "Stop that Woody, bad Woody!" Glen smacked lightly at the woodchuck's hind end.

"Hey Glen. You're not beatin' your Woody are ya?" Mark asked grinning at him from the opposite end of the couch.

"Very funny Marko. You're a regular stand up."

"So is your Woody." Mark laughed as the little pet hopped up on it's hind legs.

"I gave up my perversion towards you. Now you're starting on me." Glen pouted.

"The only reason you stopped pesterin' me is because you're distracted with other things. Like tryin' to find flower pots and flower pot accessories." Mark chuckled propping his big feet up on a coffee table.

"Hush! That is a top secret classified intelligence mission."

"It's a mission of intelligence and you have Jericho the agent of stupidity helpin' you out? That's gonna go really well." Mark grinned.

"It's not Jericho it's agent Sparkletoosh." Glen corrected with an eye roll.

"Oh, that makes so much more sense. What's your code name agent Flameass?"

"Hey, my name is agent BigRedStoner!" Glen shouted drawing looks from other people milling about the hotel lobby.

"Oh. Agent BigRedStonerUnderYourBed?" Mark asked raising an eyebrow.

"No. Just BigRedStoner."

"Well, I'll be dipped!" Mark laughed pointing to the glass door of the hotel at the young man who stepped through. "It's Philly back from the big house!"

"Phil!" Glen jumped up excitedly and stepped on the woodchucks tail causing it to squawk in pain. Phil walked over to the big man who squashed him in an enormous bear hug. Mark leaned back on the couch looking smug and sang a little tune as Phil pried himself loose of the bald man's grip.

"Bad boys bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when dey come for you!"

"Nice to see you again too Mark." Phil said gasping and straightening his clothes.

"Phil did you see Stone Cold in jail?" Glen asked.

"No, but Flair was there." Phil said chewing on his lip ring.

"For what?"

"He was running a brothel."

Mark burst out into wild laughter and held his stomach as he rolled on the floor in tears.

"So how was it? How did you get out? Oh did you escape like Hannibal did? Like you put that one dude in the elevator and his face got tore off or whatever? That was wicked!" Glen bounced on his feet clearly overly excited. Phil took a step back and raised an eyebrow.

"I wasn't in prison…just jail. I didn't do anything with an elevator or a dudes face. They dropped the charges anyway." Phil shrugged. "It was rough though. I cried…I missed my cat Pandora. She always cuddles with me. I wonder if they ever got her out of the toilet?" Phil mused thinking of his sweet pet.

"Huh, that's weird. Why did they drop the charges?" Glen wondered.

"Glen, don't you know that big time celebs and sports figures can do just about anything they want and get away with it? Charges are dropped all the time for people like us. Remember the cement truck Glen?" Mark asked picking himself up off the floor and dabbing at the corners of his eyes. "They didn't charge me with anything for that."

"Yeah, you were off your head and threatened to send the judge to hell and strike the DA with lightening." Glen laughed. "But look we're not talking about any big time name here. Just Phil." Glen said waving a hand at Punk who scowled.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"How did you get the charges dropped?" Glen prodded. At last Phil rolled his eyes and gave in.

"Alright alright. The cops had a really slow night and--"

"The cops in Chicago had a slow night? You're kidding me." Mark interrupted.

"Yeah they only had twenty murders that night…or maybe it was twenty one. Anyway, the cops who were in the jail decided to sneak into the evidence room and take a look at my flowerpots. They said they were flower pot enthusiasts."

"I'm sure they were." Mark put in. Glen glowered at him to stop interrupting.

"So they brought them all out and started burning potpourri in them."

At that Mark choked on his laughter and Glen could no longer turn and scowl at him. His own lips were twitching and threatening to part for a fit of laughter.

"Hm." Glen mused and let a few giggles escape. "Potpourri huh?"

"Yeah. It smelled pretty good too. I think they were trying to make the jail homier. So anyway they really liked the potpourri and they were really happy that things were slow and got into really good moods and were all being goofy. It was nice to see the cops not acting all uptight. Maybe cops should burn potpourri more often."

"Oh yeah that's a must." Mark laughed. The image of a stoned cop pulling him over for speeding and then asking him for some munchies had Mark back on the floor in stitches of laughter.

"Then the shift commander came in and he got really mad that all the jail cops snuck the flowerpots out of evidence. But it was weird he was only mad for little while and then it just sort of melted away and he was having fun with the rest. Then the detective came in, the narc detective, cause I guess he went down to evidence and found that the flowerpots were missing, which was probably why the detective over property crimes came in later too. But they were the nicest ever and they didn't get on the other cops like they were all high and mighty they just sat down with them and started sniffing the potpourri."

"This is the best freaking story ever!" Mark cried from the floor where he attempted to breathe.

"So finally the actual police commissioner came in and geeze he really needed to chillax. He was going psycho on all these dudes when all they were doing was having a nice time and making the place all cozy and flowery. He started busting all my flowerpots…he got through half of them before he calmed down. After that he sat on the floor reflecting light off of his badge onto the wall and giggling. The next day I woke up and I was told my charges were dropped. Funny thing was everyone else who was in jail that night was let out too. I don't get it. But at least my record is still clean and my good name is cleared." Phil finished looking proud of himself. Glen was at a loss for words and Mark was curled in a fetal position weeping and on the verge of peeing his pants.

"Phil…wow." Glen managed.

"Hey! Sparkletoosh to BigRedStoner!" Jericho shouted running across the lobby and bounding up to Glen. Glen hid his face in his hand and shook his head. "Guess what I got it!" Jericho reached into a bag and pulled out a handful of green, leafy, stuff.

"Hey, don't go flashing it out in public view!" Glen snarled snatching the bag from Jericho.

"What…I like to flash things in public view. I do it all the time. Chicks dig it." Jericho replied with a big smile.

"What is it?" Phil asked leaning closer to the bag. Glen snatched it away and hid it under his arm protectively.

"It's parsley for the woodchuck. The wood is making him constipated." Glen said and thrust the woodchuck's leash into Punks hands. He ran off with the bag of 'parsley' cackling madly.

"Why do I have a leash with nothing on it?" Phil asked more confused than ever.

"Don't say that! That's Miz's pet woodchuck Woody and you'll hurt his feelings." Jericho patted the invisible pet on the head and Punk bewildered.

"Y'know kid…" Mark said standing to his feet and straightening out his shirt. "You might have been better off to forget this bunch and just stay in jail."

Somehow, Phil could agree with Mark for once.


	25. Chapter 25

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 25 Miz's Woody, Mark is Asian, Belly Button

_I'm happy! I'm in a hyper mood! I don't know why…I got kung pow chicken and it made me happy and it made me think of Mizzy for some odd reason. This chapter is brought to you by kung pow chicken!!! Yay. Oh yeah and I'm also happy because I downloaded MSN messenger yays! If anyone wants to chat with a silly writer my msn is sparkletooshie. Thank you for reviews on the last chapter: takers dark lover, Dark Kaneanite, xMayhemx, Esha Napoleon, xXxhardyortonchickxXx, and Divine Arion. _

Miz came back to the hotel lobby to find 'Taker asleep and holding onto Woody's leash. He wondered what had happened to Kane. Miz woke Mark up by pinching his nose shut until he snorted to wakefulness.

"You little!" Mark growled sitting upright.

"Hey, you wouldn't hurt a man with a Woody would you!" Miz cried grabbing Woody's leash and hoping Mark wouldn't throttle him. Instead Mark started to laugh. Miz stroked the little pet Woody on it's head.

"Havin' fun stroking yer Woody?" Mark asked snorting.

"I always have fun with my Woody." Miz smiled. He knelt and started baby talking the pet. "Whose a good widdle Woody? Are you my pwecious widdle Woody? Daddy wuvs his widdle Woody! Yes he does!"

Mark was beside himself with laughter. Miz seemed not to notice how his Woody was so funny and seemed offended that Mark was giggling at him. Miz picked the little animal up and cuddled it.

"You think my Woody is a joke? My Woody is very special, I love him!"

"I-I'm sorry Mike." Mark coughed laughter trying to get a handle on it.

"You hurt me and my Woody. You should tell him sorry and pet him." Miz held up the imaginary pet. Somehow Mark could see the woodchucks warm brown eyes tearing up.

"Er, I'm sorry I hurt yer um…er…Woody." Mark finished reluctantly scratching the animal behind the ears.

"Woody likes you he's perking up!" Miz said excitedly. Mark winced and hoped that no one had overheard Miz's exclamation. It just didn't sound right at all. "You did a good job Mark, you can watch my Woody for me when I can't tend to him okay?"

"Arg, okay…I will…watch yer…pet." Mark finished not wanting to sound awkward. Somehow it probably didn't matter at this point, the conversation had passed awkward long ago.

"My Woody is hungry. Wanna come get Chinese with me and my Woody?"

Mark shrugged and found himself following Miz to an Asian restaurant down the street from the hotel.

"Sir, can you reave your pet outside?" The woman behind the counter asked scowling down at Miz's Woody.

"You can't ask me to leave my Woody outside, he goes everywhere I go. He's like a part of me!" Miz pouted and hoisted the pet into his arms. "Wanna see how cute my Woody is? He wont bite."

"Mikey just leave the leash…er…the Woody outside okay? It'll be okay I'll tie it onto something to make sure it doesn't wander off." Mark said trying to keep from cracking up. Mark left the restaurant for a few moments then came back after tying the leash to a bike rack.

"Kung pow chicken!" Mike cried karate chopping Mark in the chest when he walked in.

"You did not just chop me…or attempt to." Mark glowered.

"Oh don't be a grumblebum! It's fun! It's like chicken that knows martial arts. Kung pow chicken is like the Jackie Chan of Asian cuisine. Wah-yah!" Mike finished by chopping Mark again.

"Don't chop me or I will gouge your eyes out with my chopsticks and shove my fortune up your nose." Miz sat down pouting and shoveling food into his mouth. Mark cracked open his fortune cookie and laughed.

"A family member is plotting your demise." Mark narrowed his eyes and hissed: Kane.

"Oh! Lookit my fortune! The planet Bobink is eclipsing the planet Hackaloogie which means the constellation Buggawugga is aligned with the sun. You will lose someone very close to you." Miz's face grew pale. "Oh no! Mark don't sit too close to me or I might lose you!"

"I'm already dead. It can't be me." Mark said shoving food into his mouth.

"These things don't mean anything anyway." Miz said with a shrug and crumpled the little paper and tossed it over his shoulder. For a few moments the two ate in silence enjoying their kung pow chicken and fried rice.

"I like Asian restaurants. They always give you huge portions do you know notice that?"

"Yep. Asian food is almost as good as cheeseburgers." Miz said.

"Maybe they just think American's eat a lot. Maybe Asian people have two stomachs. Maybe I can be Asian. I think that would be Asiantastic!" Mark got excited and did his hair up in a bun and stuck his chopsticks through it. "Do I look Asian?"

"Mark, you are not Asian. You are so flippin' tall there's no way you can be Asian. You're like three Asian people crossed with a demon."

"Don't judge me!" Mark dramatized looking hurt.

"Well I'm sorry." Miz pouted.

"I want to be called Master Mark-Wong from now on okay?"

"I guess."

"Hey, I will send you to hell if you cross me." Mark frowned.

"You need to be enlightened." Miz pointed his chopsticks at Mark. "Or else you just need a cheeseburger."

Miz and Mark finished up their food and left the restaurant. Outside Miz stopped to get his Woody but grew frantic when his Woody was no where to be seen.

"My Woody! Mark what did you do with my Woody!" Miz shouted drawing looks from people walking past.

"I just tied it to that bike rack over there…crap." Mark saw that the leash was gone so he booked it back to the hotel before he had an angry Chick Magnet after him. Mark ran back to his room and slammed the door. Miz was left on the sidewalk wailing about his missing Woody.

Soon after hiding away in his room Mark was annoyed with banging on his door. He opened it expecting to find Miz but instead found Glen with his eyes glazed over.

"Hey Mark! Lemme see your navel!" Glen giggled madly and shoved past Mark. He lifted his shirt and poked at his own navel. "Lookit! It's a belly button…when you press it what happens? Does it set off a nuclear explosion? Does it make the elevator go ding? Lemme see yours!" Glen grabbed at Marks shirt.

"No…it's mine. It's private. You never ask another guy to show you his navel. That's wrong."

"Your just jealous 'cause mine's bigger." Glen giggled. "To pay your bill press the button! Ding!" Glen shouted pushing his belly button. "To eject from the ship, press the magic button, ding!"

"Glen…you've been smoking parsley haven't you?" Mark shook his head. "You're a junkie."

"I am not!"

"You're going to be a crack whore one of these days once you squander all your money away." Mark scolded.

"Markus, I may be a whore, but I am not a crack whore, I have my decency!"

"Sure ya do."

"Lemme see your belly!"

"I don't have a navel so leave ma alone!" Mark shoved Glen towards the door.

"Hey, why don't you have a navel? Doesn't everyone?" Glen asked confused.

"No. I'm Asian so I don't have a navel."

"Oh. Okay. Bye bye…wax on…wax off!" Glen made circular movements with his hands. Mark just slammed the door and decided to never open it again.

_What do you think? Love hate think I'm nutty. Heehee. _


	26. Chapter 26

_Thank you for reviews from: extremediva54, iNdy MiLk, takers dark lover, cenalova-54-8284, coolchic79260, Esha Napoleon, Divine Arion, and Dark Kaneanite._

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 26: Chat #8

HBKitten: And then he wet his pants! Lmbo!

AsianLordTaker: I did not! *scowls*

HBKitten: Yes you did!

BigRedStonerUnderYourBed: Dude…do you know if you flush the toilet over and over it will create a vortex to another world?

JustaBitchLicker: And he's stoned again! Dumbass haha

HBKitten: JustaBitchLicker? That's wrong

JustaBitchLicker: So um what do you want me to lick Shawn? *winks*

HBKitten: O_o

BigRedStonerUnderYourBed: The toilets gonna eat my soul! *cries*

AsianLordTaker: We need to get Glen some help

JustaBitchLicker: It's way too late for that

The Pepto-Bismal Kid has been added to chat

The Pepto-Bismal Kid: My hair is so pinkish it's beautiful and bubble gummy!

The Pepto-Bismal Kid: I'm so sexy and yummy yummy!

AsianLordTaker: I think Matt is stoned too

The Pepto-Bismal Kid: No I just revel in my pink beauty! *revels*

JustaBitchLicker: No really it looks sick. Don't you know you can strip it?

HBKitten: JBL you are such a pervert

JustaBitchLicker: Well I meant the hair but Matt if you feel like stripping I'm not gonna stop you

The Pepto-Bismal Kid: I don't know I can't strip my hair Jeffro said I'll die. But I could be a stripper. I bet people would love my pinkness!

JustaBitchLicker: Hell yeah

BigRedStonerUnderYourBed: Swoosh! Swoosh! Swoosh! You guys should try this you know what I think it's trying to speak to me!

HBKitten: The flowerpot or the toilet pot?

BigRedStonerUnderYourBed: No silly. The gnome that lives in the toilet! Swoooooooshity Swoooooosh

AsianLordTaker: Must go check on the sanity of little brother

AsianLordTaker has logged out

Y2Jo'mamma has been added to chat

Y2Jo'mamma: Hi all you can start living your lives now cos I'm here woot!

HBKitten has logged out

Y2Jo'mamma: Aw Shawny doesn't like me :(

JustaBitchLicker: Well I like you Chirs

The Pepto-Bismal Kid: What song should I strip to?

Y2Jo'mamma: Oh are we strippin' I wanna strip! *takes shirt off*

JustaBitchLicker: This is a good day for me *throws money at Chris and Matt*

WhereInTheWorldisMizziesWoody has been added to chat

WhereInTheWorldisMizziesWoody: Where in the world is Mizzies Woody! *sob*

JustaBitchLicker: Well Mikey if you don't know where your Woody is by now you're in bad shape *sick laughter* I know where mine is

The Pepto-Bismal Kid: Hey Chris can't out strip me! *takes off shirt and unbuttons pants and shakes booty*

JustaBitchLicker: Eeep! *fanguyshriek*

WhereInTheWorldisMizziesWoody: Oh my goodness are you guys nudists?

Y2Jo'mamma: *tears off pants and dances on pole*

AsianLordTaker has been added to chat

AsianLordTaker: Okay Glen got his head stuck in the toilet and there are currently two plumbers and five medics in his room trying to solve the problem

WhereInTheWorldisMizziesWoody: Maybe the medics can find my Woody

JustaBitchLicker: Who cares Chris and Matt are stripping! *drools*

WhereInTheWorldisMizziesWoody: No one cares about my poor little Woody :(

The Pepto-Bismal Kid: *grinds against Chris's ass*

Y2Jo'mamma: Hey what are you doing Matthew?

The Pepto-Bismal Kid: Oh sorry got carried away *blush*

Y2Jo'mamma: Nah it's okay *unzips Matt's pants with teeth and tears Matt's pants away*

JustaBitchLicker: *dying but in a good way*

AsianLordTaker: Hey I know all about stripping and pole dancing!

JustaBitchLicker: Really how?

AsianLordTaker: I watched Finlay's instructional videos

JustaBitchLicker: Wait a minute Finlay is a strip tease instructor?

AsianLordTaker: No

WhereInTheWorldisMizziesWoody: Those aren't Finlay's videos they're mine and he stole them from me! Hey maybe Finlay stole Mizzie's Woody too…

AsianLordTaker: *puts on leather pants and vest and pours water over hair and finds pole and dances*

JustaBitchLicker: *dying even more but in an even better way*

AsianLordTaker: *winks at Chris and runs tongue seductively up and down the pole while dancing*

MacDaddy has been added to chat

MacDaddy: Hello everyone

The Pepto-Bismal Kid: *finds Takers pole and dances on it*

Y2Jo'mamma: *shoves Matt out of the way and attacks Taker and Taker's pole*

AsianLordTaker: You're ruining my show losers get away from my pole!

WhereInTheWorldisMizziesWoody: Be careful Taker or they'll steal your pole just like someone stole my Woody! Like Finlay! Stupid Finlay's a Woody snatcher!

JustaBitchLicker: But Mark don't you know that everyone wants your pole? *takes shirt and pants off and joins the strip party*

The Pepto-Bismal kid has logged out

Y2Jo'mamma: Eeep! Get away from me demon of evil flab! *flings holy water at JBL*

AsianLordTaker: Aw man, Layfield you killed it! It's dead!

JustaBitchLicker: Killed what? *pouts*

AsianLordTaker: Everything. You killed EVERYTHING that has ever lived and ever will live. Which of course it won't live now ever because it is severely and permanently dead. Put your clothes on for hells sake!

JustaBitchLicker: Shit…dumbass!

MacDaddy: Excuse me what IS GOING ON HERE?

AsianLordTaker: Erm…

WhereInTheWorldisMizziesWoody: Well I'm trying to locate my Woody

Y2Jo'mamma: Who are you MacDaddy?

JustaBitchLicker: Oh no I think I know and if I'm right we are all in trouble *hides*

AsianLordTaker: If JBL hides from him then it must be…*cowers*

MacDaddy: YOU'RE AAAALL FIRED!

MacDaddy has logged out

WhereInTheWorldisMizziesWoody: So…who's MacDaddy?

_Lol Miz is clueless. :) This was random and I like it. Hope you guys like it too! Reviews plz! *throws Takers sweaty leather vest to you guys*_


	27. Chapter 27

_More randomness! Yay! Thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter: Dark Kaneanite, Esha Napoleon, xMayhemx, coolchic79260, Divine Arion, and BellaHickenbottom._

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 27: "Pot" Head, My Personalities Have Personalities, Degeneration X Files

Mark decided it was better to leave the chat room, especially after MacDaddy had signed in, blew up, and fired them all. However Mark knew McMahon wouldn't mean it. He probably just got overheated when he went into a chat room where Mark was pole dancing. Mark smirked to himself. He would have loved to see McMahon's face if he really saw Mark pole dancing. But right now there were more urgent matters at hand. Glen was upstairs stoned and stuck in a toilet.

Mark sighed to himself and sauntered up to Glen's room. His best friend had a knack for getting in very odd situations. But maybe Mark wasn't much better getting chased by a turkey months prior and being the victim of countless practical jokes enacted by his bald friend. Maybe Glen deserved to get his head caught in the toilet after all.

"So, how's it comin'?" Mark asked one of the plumbers. The man wiped his hands on his overalls.

"Okay I guess. He said there was a gnome down there but I didn't find one stuck in the pipes anywhere."

"Um...okay."

Mark made his way to the paramedics who sat Glen down and shined a flashlight in his eyes. _Oh crap, they're going to find out he's high!_

"Hey um thanks for getting my friend out. I can take it from here." Mark pushed past the medics and tugged on Glen's arm.

"No sir I'm afraid we need to check him over. He almost drowned in a toilet." One of the medics stated seriously and wrapped a blood pressure cuff around Glen's arm.

"He's okay. Aren't you okay Glen?"

"Everybody's gone surfin'! Surfin' U.S.A!" Glen sang in a high pitched voice. Great, Mark thought to himself, Glen is singing The Beach Boys, what could be worse?

"Sir why are your eyes pink and bloodshot?" One of the medics asked peering closer at Glen's eyes.

"He just got his head out of a damn toilet what color do you expect his eyes to be!" Mark hoped that getting angry and looming over the medic and scaring the hell out of him would make them leave Glen alone before they found out the truth.

"Sir are you under the influence of narcotics?" The medic asked ignoring Mark.

"Am I under the influence of apricots? That's stupid." Glen said laughing at the medic.

"Not apricots dummy!" Mark smacked Glen in the side of the head.

"Oh...crockpots?"

"More like crackpot." Mark grumbled.

"Oh pot! Yes I am! I got stuck in a toilet so now I'm a pothead...get it? Toilet, pot...potty mouth haha! Hey has anyone seen a gnome?"

The medics insisted on taking Glen to the hospital. Mark grew more and more irrate and followed the medics downstairs to their ambulance where he lost his temper for good.

"You can't take him! I'll strike you all with lightning with the snap of my fingers! I'll steal all of yer souls and send you all to hell!" With that Mark rolled his eyes white and lolled his tongue out at the medics who just looked at each other as though they'd seen it before.

"Sir we are taking your friend for a psychological evaluation. Why don't you come too?" The five medics closed in around Mark like a pack of hungry wolves.

"Nooooo! Never, I will eat yer soul! Do you hear me!" The medics closed in on him as he turned to flee they all jumped at him and one stuck a needle in his arm. "Help! Glen and I are being abducted!"

Meanwhile Paul Lavesque known better as Hunter or Triple H was in the parking lot cleaning out the front seat of his rental car. He and Chris had went out the night before and Chris threw up in the seat. He was so involved in this that he didn't notice the ambulance outside. What he did notice was hearing Mark suddenly yell frantically that he and Glen were being abducted. Hunter jerked his head up hitting it on the inside of the car and growling in pain. He saw a red light flashing but by the time he ran to the middle of the parking lot nothing was there. His eyes grew wide and he fumbled his phone out frantically.

"Hello?" Shawn mumbled.

"Shawn! It's Hunt! Mark and Glen just got abducted by aliens in the parking lot!"

Mark woke up later and found himself in the psych ward of the hospital. A balding doctor sat next to him studying him intensely.

"Mr. Calaway. I'm glad you're awake. I would like to ask you a few questions."

Mark rolled his eyes in disgust. He might as well answer the doctors questions and get the hell out of there.

"Go ahead." Mark groaned.

"The medics reported that you threatened to summon lightning with your fingers, steal and or eat souls, and send people to hell."

"Yep. I sure did." Mark scowled.

"Do you really believe you can do these things?"

"I can't do it, of course not. Undertaker can though."

"Undertaker...who is this Undertaker?"

"He's my other personality, well sort of, sometimes I act like him anyway. I've often wondered if I'm actually the other personality...but it's no big deal. People think of stuff like that all the time right?"

The doctor just peered at Mark over his glasses and scribbled notes on a clip board.

"Is he the only one?"

"Well I once was a woman but just for a short period of time. That was weird to say the least."

"You were a woman. So you're transgendered?"

Mark's eyes grew wide at such a notion.

"Hell no! I just woke up one day and I was a woman. I was a woman for a few weeks and then all of a sudden I turned back into myself."

"Hm." Was all the doctor said. "Tell me more about the Undertaker. What's he like?"

"It depends. Right now he's kind of the regular Undertaker, he's dead and he sends people to hell if he gets sick of seeing their ugly faces. There's different versions of him. There's the American Badass biker Undertaker, there's satanic evil dark Undertaker, there's the younger Undertaker when he was under the control of Paul's urn..."

"So your other personality has multiple personalities?" The doctor was very interested and wrote everything down excitedly.

"I guess so. I mean I'm not a nut or anything. This is just stuff the writers created." Mark said with a shrug.

"The writers? What writers?"

"Vince's writers."

"Who's Vince?" The doctor blinked over his glasses at Mark.

"The boss."

"Ah, I see. So Vince is the dominant personality."

"No damn it! I don't have multiple personalities, well, not exactly..."

"Mr. Calaway this is very important."

"Where's Glen?"

"We sent him on his way. He passed the evaluation. You however..."

Mark fell back onto the pillows in the hospital bed, frustrated with the whole situation.

"The man who gets his head caught in a toilet because he was chasing a gnome is sane. That makes loads of sense." Mark growled. If he could really send that doctor to hell, he so would.

Glen was happy to be out of the hospital. They had noticed that he was high but after he shared his stash with a few of the doctors they thought it best to keep that bit of information off of Glen's records. So now Glen was feeling all better, he passed a psychological evaluation, and his head was free of all pot both the green leafy kind and the piss kind. It was a good thing too because tonight was the debut of Ab-less. Glen went up to his room to prepare for the upcoming Raw.

"Shawn! I just saw Glen!"

Shawn and Hunter snuck down the hallway and ducked behind potted plants and sculptures.

"Don't use my real name. This is operation save The Dark One and The Red One from the aliens!" Hunter hissed sending Shawn an angry glare. "I am known as agent K and you are agent J."

"Wait a minute, why do we have to be MIB? I think we should be Hunt Mulder and Shawn Scully. Mulder and Scully is a good pairing y'know." Shawn smiled at Hunter.

"This is no time to quibble over peanuts. I am now Hunt Mulder and you are Shawn Scully. Now are you worried about Glen and Mark or not?" Hunter chastized his partner.

"Yeah, sorry agent Hunt Mulder."

Shawn and Hunter made their way to Glen's room as descretly as possible.

"Hello Mr. Jacobs." Agent Hunt Mulder said.

"Gah!" Glen grabbed the sheet off his bed and wrapped up in it. "Hey you idiots why do you think you can just sneak into someone's room? I'm naked!"

"Oh can I see your belly did they inject you with alien eggs?" Shawn jumped up and down excitedly tugging at the sheet around Glen's body.

"No ya dumb ass what the hell are you talking about Shawn?" Glen barked getting more and more annoyed.

"This is not Shawn. This is agent Scully and I am agent Mulder." Hunter informed Glen.

"Don't you mean Dana Scully and Fox Mulder?"

"No! Since when is Dana Scully going bald?" Hunter said waving a hand at Shawn.

"I am not bald!" Shawn yelled pulling off his hat and pointing at his hair. "I have plently of hair which is a good thing unlike having plenty of nose like some people I know!"

"Glen, you're thinking of X-Files." Hunter explained choosing to ignore Shawn's insult. "This is Degeneration X Files. Just never mind. We are here to ask you of the nature of your alien encounter as of earlier today in the parking lot."

"I wasn't abducted by aliens! Get out of here you nutjobs!" Glen shoed Hunter and Shawn out of his room and locked the door. To think he was the one they dragged in for a psychiatric evaluation! Those doctors needed to get a hold of Hunter and Shawn and they'd have their hands full.

_Lol! Poor Mark stuck in the psych ward. Glen singing The Beach Boys, that mental image is so funny to me. Degeneration X Files has potential too you'll probably see it again. Next chapter is the debut of Ab-less and I'm so excited! I really love it. Please let me know what you think of this! Hope it made you lol a little. :) *whistles X Files tune*_


	28. Chapter 28

_It's short but I wanted the debut of Ab-less to stand alone on its own and it just seemed that this is how it wanted to be. Lol I love what Manu does to Randy. Hope you guys enjoy it! Thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter Dark Kaneanite, Esha Napoleon, Divine Arion, LCHime and xMayhemx. Side note, I just got The Twisted and Disturbed Life of Kane and it is amazing! Great matches, Kane is awesome, I love all the Taker/Kane/Bearer/Mankind stuff I miss all that so much it's so much fun! Not to mention very sexy deadman. There are some shots of Taker that had me going into fangirl haze he looked so hot! But yeah it's really awesome Kane at his most bizarre and best. Must watch! I wish I could write for WWE I'd have more of that kind of stuff..._

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 28: The Debut of Ab-less

Miz, Kane, Manu, Edge, and Matt waited backstage on Raw for their debut. At first they thought it would be difficult having a stable with all of them in it because Matt was with ECW and Adam was on Smackdown and the two of them severely hated each other. However Vince had liked the idea and so he had shuffled people around to accommodate the new group. Being ab-less is very powerful.

Miz adjusted his gear and smirked at his reflection.

"I'm so excited!" Matt jumped up and down his pink locks bouncing on his shoulders.

"This is really going to do nothing for my image." Kane griped messing with the long coat and tight pants he had on.

"Glen! There is no I in team! Come on man and get it together!" Miz adjusted Kane's jacket for him. "I have lost someone very near to me, my Woody. Yet I am sucking it up to go out there for Ab-less!"

"Talk about your image Glen? I mean you got your head caught in a toilet earlier and had to have two plumbers and five medics remove you so how did that help your image?" Adam chuckled messing with his sunglasses.

"How would a broken nose help your image?" Glen shook his fist at Adam who cowered into Matt.

"Get off of Matt Hardy. Matt Hardy hates Adam." The pink haired Hardy grimaced and pushed Adam away from him.

"I have the perfect solution." Manu said rummaging in his locker.

"Oh! Flower pot!" Glen cried clapping his hands excitedly.

"No it's not a flower pot. It's a cheeseburger!" Manu held the greasy goodness up over his head triumphantly and the other men in the locker room beheld it in awe and dripped drool onto the floor from their slack-jawed mandibles. Manu grabbed a plastic knife from his locker and cut the food into five pieces and shared the cheeseburger wedges with his group as though it was some sort of religious rite or communion before their debut.

"Oh cheeseburger so juicy and sweet!" Miz sang dancing around the locker room.

"Oh cheeseburger I love to eat meeeeat!" Matt cried spinning on his toes like a ballerina.

"Oh cheeseburger so sexy and greasy!" Adam put in singing off key.

"So beautiful and dangerously cheesey!" Glen joined in triumphant, jubilant song.

"You give me an orgasm when I eat you!" Manu sang as loud as he could.

"Ooooh!" Everyone joined in together. "I think I will eat twoooo! Oh cheeseburger how lovely and fair and fine, oh cheeseburgeeeeeeeer I vow to make you mine!" The five of them ended the song together dancing and kicking their legs up in a chorus line.

"Ah, there's just nothing quite like a rousing round of the Cheeseburger Song." Miz said feeling better despite the loss of his Woody.

"Except for an actual cheeseburger." Manu put in and everyone nodded in agreement.

"We better get out to the gorilla guys. We only have a couple minutes." Matt said pointing at the clock on the wall. Ab-less made their way out to the gorilla and waited a few moments until their song blared over the Raw speakers.

Ab-less oooooh baby I'm ab-less!

The five men walked out in imitation John Morrison tight fur trimmed pants and matching long coats with sunglasses. All five of them simultaneously mocked Morrison's entrance forming their lips into sexy pouts, throwing their heads back and letting their hair blow, (well for the ones who had long hair), and pulled their coats aside revealing their glorious ab-less stomachs. Miz could only hope that somewhere Morrison was watching as they mocked the man in WWE most well-known for his chiseled abs.

The five made their way to the ring where four of them were going to cheer on Manu who was the only one from their group wrestling that night. His opponent Randy Orton came out to the ring leering at the group of soft bellied superstars as his song played. Cody and Ted followed him for support and watched as Manu beat Randy into a quivering stupor. Cody and Ted looked at each other as if to say: What's gotten into him?

Manu leaned over Randy with a maniacal look in his eyes. Kane tossed Manu a burlap sack from which Manu pulled a cheeseburger and held it up for the crowd to see. He took a huge bite of it tearing off a big chunk and flinging his head around sending a spray of ketchup and mustard, a pickle, and some flecks of onion flying all over the ring and all over Randy. In a Boogeyman-esque imitation he then forced Randy's mouth open and dropped the bitten and tattered half of cheeseburger into Randy's mouth. He smeared the left-overs in Randy's face painting it red and yellow with cheeseburger condiments.

Ab-less ooooh baby I'm ab-less! The music blared over the speakers declaring the first victory for the best stable ever.

AB-LESS!! The crowd in the arena cheered excitedly and got to their feet chanting the name over and over.

_The guys of Ab-less want to know what u think and so do I! Reviews please and thanks mucho appreciated!! Expect more from Ab-less because I have a lot of ideas rolling around in my cracked little head lol :D loves ya all!_


	29. Chapter 29

_I'm not making a note on this at all…it doesn't need one. Just thanks are in order cause you guys are awesome and this fic now has 200 reviews! TVL pushed it over the edge :) So thankies to: Dark Kaneanite, The Vampire Lucinda, iNdy MiLk, takers dark lover, extremediva54, coolchic79260, xMayhemx, and Esha Napoleon._

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 29: Kane's Commercial

Glen was not sure why they had contacted him for a commercial shoot. Kane was not exactly the kind of person who would smile while squeezing Charman bath tissue or burst into song after taking a swig of Pepsi. That was CM Punk's department, he always sang after drinking Pepsi and it got rather annoying because he was tone deaf. But Glen did not think Kane was very commercial-worthy. He conjured a few comical situation in his head such as Kane wearing a bear suit with jeans and a Smokey The Bear hat as he pointed somberly to the t.v. viewing audience and warned with a growl: Only YOU can prevent forest fires…just before igniting a shrub with flames from his fingertips. That would be to die for! Glen laughed as he walked through the studio searching for the right set.

He finally found it and introduced himself to everyone around who seemed either afraid of him or too eager to meet him. The director kind of scared Glen more than his Kane persona did for that guy.

"Okay, this is really easy. You don't even have to say a word! We'll put in the voice of a narrator later. Basically we just want to film you doing a few things, posing a few ways, and smiling really big and happy for the camera!" The director gushed nearly hoping up and down on his toes. Glen raised an eyebrow, or at least what would be an eyebrow if he didn't shave them off.

"Smile? I'm sorry sir but I have to stay in character and Kane doesn't smile. The closest thing Kane gets to a smile is a sick smirk and that's only when he's torturing someone."

"Oh no, it's okay I assure you. We already spoke with Vince McMahon and he said for this commercial and this commercial only it would be perfectly fine for Kane to smile." The director ignored Glen's objections and shooed him over to the dressing room where he changed into Kane's ring gear. He wasn't liking this whole thing very much and Glen just wanted to get it over with. He wasn't sure if he could actually make Kane smile, his persona was deeply engrained into Glen's mind and it was almost sacrilegious to disrespect that persona in such a way as actually grinning like a beauty queen contestant to the camera.

First they had Kane posing in a mock wrestling ring in the stance he takes right before grabbing someone for a chokeslam. They had to redo it a few times because he kept forgetting to omit the usual snarl and set in its place a fake exaggerated smile. What the hell was that damn smile so important for anyway?

After that they had Kane actually grab a stunt woman around the neck as though ready for the chokeslam. That was followed by him holding a different stunt woman in the piledriver position with her head between his legs. This was getting weirder and weirder by the moment. Third they had him move to a different set with a romatic looking king sized bed with a woman lounging on it in a nightie and they shot a small scene there. More strange shots followed such as Kane giving a chair shot to a woman's behind, straddling a woman on a mock up WWE announcers table and then the table breaking, and a simple shot of Kane with that ridiculous smile on his face winking his pale eye at the camera. After that was finally over Glen stopped the director and asked the all important question that he should have asked before the shoot.

"Hey, what was this for anyway?"

The director seemed as though he was trying to hold back laughter and bit his lips as they squirmed. He looked Glen up and down which for some reason made the big guy feel uncomfortable.

"It's just a commercial directed at the male audience and we thought what better way to catch that kind of attention that to use a popular name with the WWE." The director shrugged. "We were going to go all the way and get The Undertaker but according to Vince he's not well as of now."

Glen rolled his eyes. His other half was currently being held in a psych ward and was now convinced that he had multiple personalities. Glen decided it didn't really matter what the commercial was for. At least he was better off than Mark.

A few days later…

Shawn and Hunter were in their room cozy and warm in their pajamas—pink bunny pajamas complete with feet in them and a little cotton tail on the butt. It was a guilty pleasure that only they shared. If anyone else found out it would surely become black mail. As usual they were squabbling over what to watch.

"I wanna watch ICarly!" Shawn whined as he pried the remote from Hunter's hands and flipped stations to the Disney Channel. "Oh that's even better!" Shawn shrieked when he saw that Hannah Montana was on instead.

"Shawn, hell no!" Hunter tackled Shawn to the floor and wrestled around with him before finally regaining control over the remote. Hunter tuned in to TLC where fashion gurus Stacy London and Clinton Kelly were berating a middle aged woman's choice of clothing in a 360 degree mirror.

"Ick, that is so gross!" Hunter wrinkled his sizeable nose at the woman's saggy butted worn out jeans, her thick soled boots that looked like something Frankenstein's monster would wear, and her red and white striped tube top with fish net arm socks.

"Where's your behind in these pants!" Clinton gasped grabbing the extra material on the woman's butt and playing with it. "It's like your rear just got swallowed up by a black hole!"

The woman just laughed as Stacy rolled her eyes.

"You look like a combination of a tired mamma, a candy cane, and a hoochie." Stacy scolded before pushing the woman out of the 360 degree mirror.

"Oh man she really needs some help." Hunter said as Stacy and Clinton went through more of her clothes and tossed them into a trashcan. "She'd look so cute in a little knee length pencil skirt paired with a little jacket with some nice seaming and details that nips in at the waist, drawing your eye to the smallest part of the torso. Layer that with a nice little colorful cami underneath, a pop of color for the jewelry, and some nice pointy-toed kitten heels to elongate the leg. Then Nick should probably cut her hair in a nice playful swooshy bob and take that bleach out of her hair. Take it back to a soft brown with some nice little highlights and some layers around the face, that would frame her face and open her up. Then Carmandy's going to do her makeup to complete the look. She'll even out her skin tone and then put on some sheer shimmery blush and some shimmery highlighting powder along the cheekbones to highlight them and on the insides of the eyes and under the eyebrows to open them up. Next comes the eyeliner and kind of smudge it right into the lashes! Let's see…then go with the smoky look for the eyes or maybe a nice earthy brown that would really make her blue eyes pop. Brush it on up to the crease of the eye and smudge a little into the lower lash line to make the lashes look fuller. Complete with mascara and use a small brush to get in there and get each little lash and then finish the look with a nice pinky-peach lip gloss. She'd look sleek, sassy, sexy, and sophisticated!"

Shawn just stared back at Hunter in shock forgetting about his own program. The show Hunter was watching, What Not To Wear, had long since went to a commercial. Hunter had basically summed up the whole show already so Shawn wasn't sure what the point was of continuing to watch it. Hunter had obviously already watched the program too many times.

"So erm, you're like a fashion expert now?" Shawn asked stifling a giggle and raising his eyebrows.

"What are you trying to insinuate?" Hunter growled.

"Oh, I'm not trying to insulate anything!"

"No, insinuate!"

"I'm not insolate!" Shawn shouted. Hunter slapped himself in the forehead.

"Are you deaf?"

"No. Mark is death, dummy." Shawn couldn't believe how ignorant Hunter was sometimes. The things he came up with.

"Seems like your hair isn't the only thing your losing." Hunter mumbled under his breath. Dispite Shawn's misunderstanding of Hunters shouted comments earlier he picked up easily on the whispered one that he wasn't meant to hear.

"Darn it I said we will not speak of this EVER again!" Shawn pointed to his thinning hairline and frowned at Hunter.

"Well--" Hunter stopped as a familiar little tune caught his attention. It was that little whistled tune from that male enhancement commercial with that grinning doofus named Bob.

Hunter was about to switch the channel, those commercials always made him embarrassed for some reason. When he turned from Shawn to do so he burst out laughing. The usual mascot for the product was not on the screen but a more familiar face was. "Oh my hell!" Hunter shrieked pointing and going into hysterics. Shawn noticed for the first time who was on the t.v. He immediately got out his cell and dialed numbers of everyone he could think of. Soon their whole room was filled with people who had their eyes glued to the t.v. screen waiting in urgency to see that commercial flick across the screen once more. When it did, the whole room broke out into a roar of laughter.

"Someone call Glen and get him down here!" Cena shouted. Randy and Cody leaned on him nearly crying their eyes out with laughter. Paul Big Show Wight was on the floor close to death from his own fit of hysterics. Most of the others where braying or cawing, cackling or snickering, chuckling or bawling, hooting or howling. There was not a dry eye in the room.

Soon Glen was making his way down to Paul and Shawn's room. He had gotten a barely legible phone call from Dave Batista begging him to come down to the room where it seemed the whole company was gathered. Glen managed to squeeze into the room which was overflowing with people. Hands were on him immediately shoving him towards the front roughly. He protested and griped and finally found himself at the front of the crowd where Shawn and Paul sat forward on their knees biting their lips and watching commercials intensely.

"Come on, come on!" Paul begged the flashing object before him.

"It'll come on. They play it every time there's a break." Shawn assured Hunter as an add for Burger King ended. The next thing on was that commercial and Glen paled at it when he saw a close up of his face with that goony, unreal grin plastered across it. The narrator of the commercial began.

"This is Kane! Kane is happy after he's tried our product for natural male enhancement!"

Kane winked his pale eye at the camera. Glen wanted to fall into a hole and die. He turned to leave and hide but there were so many people in the room and they wouldn't let him through.

"Now Kane is the envy of the locker room!"

Kane was shown from his chest up standing under a shower head smiling that same plastic smile happily as he washed. Three large men crowded around and peered downwards with identical looks of amazement and shock on their face.

"He really is the BIG red machine." The narrartor said cheekily as Kane nodded happily to the camera. The next scene showed Kane readying for the chokeslam.

"He'll SLAM you silly now that he's tried our product for natural male enhancement!" Kane wrapped his hand around the woman's throat and the camera zoomed in to her face where she winked at the camera. "He'll DRIVE you insane, this BIG man of wrestling will have you SUBMITTING to his sexiness."

This was followed by Kane putting a woman in position for the tombstone pile driver. The camera turned showing Kane's behind and zoomed into the woman's face which peeked between his legs, her mouth crunched into a surprised O and her eyes wide with excitement as she looked between his legs.

Glen buried his face in his hands but Paul Wight and Dave Batista quickly pried them away forcing him to finish watching the commercial.

"Now Kane can REALLY light a fire between the sheets!"

This was the part where Kane stood over the bed with the lingerie clad woman stretching out on it. He brought his arms down as he did in his ring entrance for the pyro and the bed sheets burst into flame.

"If you want to be the WORLD HEAVY WEIGHT champion in your woman's world, then you better try our product! It'll really RING her bells!"

At that the bell rang as if to signal the start of a match and the camera showed a last shot of Kane straddling a woman on the announce table before it collapsed.

"Talk to your doctor and see if your heart is healthy enough for sexual activities before trying our product. If your heart is not healthy for sexual activities, hell go for it anyway, what a way to kick the bucket! If you have an erection for over four hours, seek immediate medical attention or a bunch of hoes to have fun with, otherwise your hand will get tired and may get carpal tunnel. Side affects of our product may include but is not limited to: heart attack, stroke, migraines, sniffles, small-pox, the plague, gangrene, termites, brain damage, kidney failure, liver failure, increased flatulence, paralysis, dwarfism, bone disease, sperm death, narrow urethra, blindness, deafness, muteness, sunburn, tooth decay, syphilis, pregnancy, high blood pressure, ulcers, boils, blisters, bunions, warts, parasitic twins, polo, acid reflux, increased appetite, decreased appetite, weight loss, weight gain, depression, suicide, homicide, pesticide, listlessness, dehydration, coma, memory loss, schizophrenia, vitamin X deficiency, excessive anal bleeding, excess hair growth, temporary insanity, spontaneous combustion, or a slight erectile dysfunction."

"Ha! Glen's in a commercial for erectile dysfunction!" Ken yelled. Another more familiar voice followed that loud mouth with one word that summed up the whole commercial.

"DAMN!"

_Oh I just had to do it! My prof today was talking about commercials for erectile dysfunction. I know what an odd thing to talk about in class but yeah. Of course it inspired me and I picked on Kane for it. :) *evilish grin* Hope you guys liked it I love it so much haha! Reviews yay! *gives everyone Kane masks* Sorry about HHH's little rant about his fashion advice it was kind of a sidetrack but the picture of him saying all that cracked me up. You can tell I watch that show too lol. _


	30. Chapter 30

_Sorry it's long and very…odd…more so than usual. Thanks to you awesome reviewers!!! _

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 30: Chat #9

BigRedErectileDysfunctionUnderYourBed: Teehee! Look everyone I'm Kane and I can't get it up!

PartyLikeAHardy: hahaha!

CheeseburgerMagnet: Can't get what up?

HBKitten: Hunt that's not nice. You shouldn't make fun of the handicapped.

MattIsTheNewPink: What Glen is handicapped? What happened!

BigRedErectileDysfunctionUnderYourBed: He fell and he couldn't GET UP! Lmao!

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MattIsTheNewPink: Glen what happened why are you in a wheelchair!

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: What?

HBKitten: Well Tripsy thought you were handicapped…

CheeseburgerMagnet: Can't get what up?

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: Guys don't give me crap about that damn commercial!

PartyLikeAHardy: Hunter they wouldn't allow Glen on the regular bus. They only let him ride the SHORT bus!

CheeseburgerMagnet: Did you ride the short bus Glen?

BigRedErectileDysfunctionUnderYourBed: Lol Jeffro that was a good one, SHORT bus! *high fives Jeff*

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: No I did not I walked to school

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: Twenty miles

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: In the snow!

BigRedErectileDysfunctionUnderYourBed: Oh so that's why it's so tiny. You froze the damn thing Glen!

HBKitten: I froze mine once.

CheeseburgerMagnet: Froze what?

PartyLikeAHardy: Mike are you blonde? *rolls eyes*

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: Wait a minute Shawn you said you froze it?!

HBKitten: Yes

MattIsTheNewPink: You did not I've seen it

CheeseburgerMagnet: Seen what?

PartyLikeAHardy: Matt you saw Shawn's it?

MattIsTheNewPink: We'll talk about it later.

CheeseburgerMagnet: Talk about what?

BigRedErectileDysfunctionUnderYourBed: Hey I didn't know about you freezing it Shawn! I know everything about Shawns' it!

CheeseburgerMagnet: Shawns' what?

PartyLikeAHardy: Wow tmi Hunter!

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: How did you freeze it?

MattIsTheNewPink: Maybe he shut it in the freezer…or maybe he was drinking a milkshake too fast and got 'head' freeze lol!

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: I hope this isn't too graphic

HBKitten: Well it was winter and we were in Minnesota and Marty Janetty double-dog dared me to stick it to a metal pole

PartyLikeAHardy: You did NOT! *groans in pain at the very thought*

HBKitten: Yeah it hurt I didn't think it would come off of the pole but it did. It hurt it tore some skin off the end.

MattIsTheNewPink: Oh damn that's bad! *cries*

PartyLikeAHardy: SHAWN!

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: OoOoOow…OOOW Shawn I said not graphic!

BigRedErectileDysfunctionUnderYourBed: Can we say circumcision? Lol!

CheeseburgerMagnet: I'm confused! What's circumcision?

PartyLikeAHardy: LMAO! Ask Shawn

HBKitten: Why are you guys talking about that? That's when you get a little piece of IT whacked off

CheeseburgerMagnet: Piece of WHAT whacked off?

BigRedErectileDysfunctionUnderYourBed: Heh heh…Glen can't WHACK OFF cause he has dysfunction!

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: HUNTER!

HBKitten: I still don't understand how circumcision applies to me freezing my tongue onto a pole

PartyLikeAHardy: Wait your tongue?

HBKitten: Yeah like that kid on A Christmas Story. Gee what did you guys think I meant?

MattIsTheNewPink: Oh well we thought you meant your…

PartyLikeAHardy: Y'know…your…

CheeseburgerMagnet: His WHAT?

BigRedErectileDysfunctionUnderYourBed: Not what, IT

CheeseburgerMagnet: Huh?

CheeseburgerMagnet: Oh I get it it's that Abbott and Costello baseball joke that goes: Who's on first? No Who's on second!

HBKitten: What?

CheeseburgerMagnet: No What's on first!

HBKitten: Who's on first?

CheeseburgerMagnet: No who's on second!

HBKitten: What?

CheeseburgerMagnet: No What's not there!

HBKitten: WHERE?

CheeseburgerMagnet: Where's on third.

HBKitten: ???

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: Guys stop it! I already have a headache from Mark let alone you two going at it!

BigRedErectileDysfunctionUnderYourBed: Well at least they can GO AT IT you can't go at it because you are dysfunctional downstairs!

CheeseburgerMagnet: Go at what?

PartyLikeAHardy: What's up with Mark I thought he was in the psych ward?

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: They let him come home. Those idiot doctors convinced him that he has multiple personalities.

MattIsTheNewPink: Didn't they give him medicine?

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: Erm…yes.

BigRedErectileDysfunctionUnderYourBed: So it's not helping?

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: He's not taking it. I sold it.

CheeseburgerMagnet: Sold what? You sold Shawn's IT?

HBKitten: NO my IT is still here thank you very much!

CheeseburgerMagnet: Your what?

MattIsTheNewPink: Who did you sell it to and why?

CheeseburgerMagnet: No he sold it to Where.

BigRedErectileDysfunctionUnderYourBed: Who?

CheeseburgerMagnet: No Where. Who's on first!

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: STOP IT NOW OR I REACH THROUGH THIS SCREEN AND CHOKESLAM YOUR ASS!

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BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: Damn if you idiots didn't drive me nutty then I wouldn't have had to trade Mark's medication for Chris' weed…I mean parsley…so I can calm my nerves!

PartyLikeAHardy: You did what?!

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: Look it's not a big deal the medication didn't help Mark anyway. He wakes up and thinks he's a new person each day and I have to deal with him because he's my best friend unfortunately

HBKitten: Who is Mark today?

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: Earlier he was Pat Benatar and he kept singing Love Is A Battlefield…I don't know who he is now

PartyLikeAHardy: Lol! I'm going to call Mark and have him get on chat so we can see who he is now!

HBKitten: But if he's not Mark then he won't know who you are when you call will he?

PartyLikeAHardy: I'll pretend to be Yoko Ono just in case Mark decided to be John Lennon

HBKitten: Can I be Ringo? Please!

PartyLikeAHardy: No that would be Hunters place he has the nose for it. You can be someone else

HBKitten: Fine I'm Paul McCartney because he was known as the cute one just like me!

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: Guys we are not role playing and we are certainly not The Beatles or Yoko Ono.

PartyLikeAHardy: It didn't work. I said 'Yoko Ono call for John Rennon!' and Mark said 'This ain't John Lennon this is Axel Rose and I eat John Lennon for breakfast!' and then he hung up on me

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: So Axel eats Lennon for breakfast…that is just so wrong

HBKitten: So call back and pretend to be Slash! I want Mark in the chat room so we can see what he's like. I wonder if he's smashing amps or something as we speak?

PartyLikeAHardy: Okay I'm calling Mark who is not John Lennon but is Axel and I am being Slash because Yoko gets hung up on because Axel eats Lennon for breakfast.

HBKitten: Does that mean I can't be Paul McCartney now?

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: I don't know if Axel likes Paul McCartney. Better play it safe and be someone else.

HBKitten: Okay I'm Madonna…

HBKitten: Like a virgin, touched for the very first time! *sings*

PartyLikeAHardy: Yay he's going to come chat with us!

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PartyLikeAHardy: Hi Axel how are you?

WelcomeToTheJungle: Welcome to the jungle we got fun n' games!

HBKitten: And I am a material girl

WelcomeToTheJungle: If you got the money honey, we got your disease in the jungle! Welcome to the jungle watch it bring you to your nanananana knees! Knees!

HBKitten: Like a virgin touched for the very first time

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: Shawn stop it you scare me

PartyLikeAHardy: I'm not Slash anymore…I wanna be Alice Cooper!

PartyLikeAHardy: We got no class, and we got no principles! We got no innocence! We can't even think of a word that rhymes!

PartyLikeAHardy: Glen you could be Michael Jackson and sing Beat It…oh right…I forgot you can't BEAT IT can you? Dysfunction! Lol!

WelcomeToTheJungle: Feel my, my, my serpentine! I wanna hear you scream!

PartyLikeAHardy: Can't salute ya can't find a flag, if that don't suit ya, that's a drag! Schooools out for summer! *air guitar* Schoooools out for ever! *jams* My schooools been blown to pieces…

WelcomeToTheJungle: Whoah whoah-oh sweet child a'mi-ee-ine!

HBKitten: Oh girls just wanna have fu-un, yeah girls just wanna have fun!

PartyLikeAHardy: Shawn that's not Madonna that's Cyndi Lauper

HBKitten: Oh sorry *changes into The Spice Girls* If you wanna be my lover, gotta get with my friends! Make it last for ever cause friendship neva eee-ends!

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: *groans* Okay, if you can't beat the lunatics just join 'em I guess…

HBKitten: If ya wanna be my lova

WelcomeToTheJungle: Feel my, my, my serpentine!

BigRedMonsterUnderYourBed: Just beat it! Yeah just beat it! *grabs crotch and moonwalks*

_I know randomness at its most random. Lol If ya wanna be my lover feel my serpentine just beat it! Lol sorry…mind in the gutter. Hopefully it's funny and not just plain stupid. Sorry I'm in a strange mood been depressed so I'm trying to get out of it by listening to too much Guns n' Roses and letting my musi play around. *gives everyone Jeff Hardy make-up* Oh yeah by the way does anyone know if it's Axel or Axl? I found it both when I tried to look online so...IDK_


	31. Chapter 31

_Hm…sorry about doing another chat. I'm not trying to do a whole bunch it's just I got the idea for this and had to. After this I will lay off the chats for a while and do some more stuff with Shawn which was requested and Ab-less because I have a lot of ideas for Ab-less. Also I'm having a problem with this fic it keeps plummeting down into the gutter, lol. I guess I have a sense of humor of a fourteen year old boy I don't know. Sorry! One more thing before I get this show on the road of course I must thank everyone! Muchos gracias: Dark Kanenite, takers dark lover, Esha Napoleon, iNdy MiLk, cenalova-54-8284, DX-Dynamite, TheVampireLucinda, HBKShawnMichaelsDX. Special note to takers dark lover…I was going to email you that one shot but I went to look for it and I can't find it. I don't remember deleting it but I must have, it was probably late at night when I was half asleep lol. Sorry :)_

WWE Silly Style

Chapter 31: Chat #10

HBKitten: You guys I am really worried about JBL…

ILoveMySledgey: Why? Who cares about him

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TripleHugeAssNose: Yeah who cares about JBL

ILoveMySledgey: Hey who is that making fun of my nose! *raises Sledgey ready to pummel*

TripleHugeAssNose: I see it's okay for you to make fun of my erectile dysfunction which I don't even have but you get angry if someone makes fun of your problem

ILoveMySledgey: Glen!!!

HBKitten: Guys please focus this is serious! JBL has huge man boobs

TripleHugeAssNose: So let's make fun of them since we're all into making fun of body parts…let's see Cena's ass…my non-existent downstairs problem…Tripsy's snout…JBL's man boobs…Shawn's lack of skull covering…

HBKitten: Hey! We will not speak of this! *shakes fist at Glen*

ILoveMySledgey: Shawn isn't thinning he just has a follicle deficiency

HBKitten: We are not talking about me we are talking about HUNTERS HUGE NOSE *pokes Hunter in his hugenormous nose*

ILoveMySledgey: We are not we were talking about JBL's man boobs!

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MattIsTheNewPink: Hi guys

MattIsTheNewPink: So what are we talking about today?

TripleHugeAssNose: JBL's man titties

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ILoveMySledgey: Haha! Now we know how to scare a Hardy away just waggle JBL's man boobs at them

HBKitten: You don't understand the half of it

HBKitten: You don't know what he was doing in the locker room earlier!

TripleHugeAssNose: Maybe we don't want to know Shawn

ILoveMySledgey: I wanna know

HBKitten: JBL was…was…TALKING to his man boobs *shudders*

TripleHugeAssNose: Bwa! *dies laughing*

ILoveMySledgey: No way! Roflmao

HBKitten: Yeah and he even named them…he was calling them by name I was so terrified! I almost cried!

ILoveMySledgey: You have got to be kidding me

HBKitten: I wish I was *shakes head sadly*

TripleHugeAssNose: Well I've heard of guys naming certain other body parts but naming your man boobs? That's just…hold on while I try to find a word that expresses that volume of disgust

ILoveMySledgey: Oh you mean like naming your buddy downstairs? I know what Glen calls his…Tiny! Heehee!

TripleHugeAssNose: Yeah I call it Tiny cause it's one of those jokes like you call a fat guy Slim or call Triple H a good wrestler

ILoveMySlegey: Hey! That crosses the line you don't dis my ring abilities! *attacks Glen with Sledgey*

TripleHugeAssNose: *sets Sledgey on fire*

ILoveMySledgey: nooooooes!

HBKitten: Guys! What about JBL? What do we do about him? I'm having nightmares here! Larry and Lolita attack me in my sleep! *cries*

TripleHugeAssNose: Wait…Larry and Lolita?

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ILoveMySledgey: Oh no it's him!

TripleHugeAssNose: Don't you mean them? JBL and his bazoombas! Lol

JustaBoobyLover: Has anyone seen my hat? I think Beth took it

HBKitten: Why would she have it?

JustaBoobyLover: Santino said I had bigger boobs than she does

HBKitten: Leave it to Santino to piss Beth off

TripleHugeAssNose: So Shawn what were you talking about being scared by Larry and Lolita who's that?

HBKitten: Um…

JustaBoobyLover: Oh! My friends Larry and Lolita meet Glen and Hunter! *takes shirt off*

TripleHugeAssNose: You don't mean to tell me that Larry and Lolita are…

ILoveMySledgey: Oh…my…hell…

HBKitten: Yeah

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ILoveSledgey: Jerichomie huh…more like Jerichomo

Jerichomie: Is that all you do Hunter is make fun of people? Have you looked in a mirror lately? Oh that's right I forgot you can't cause they all break!

TripleHugeAssNose: Damn Chris that was awesome! *high fives Chris*

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HBKitten: Guys you ran Hunt away :(

JustaBoobyLover: So? That's a bad thing?

HBKitten: Somebody oughta run you away

JustaBoobyLover: You're prejudiced against man boobs Shawn Michaels

Jerichomie: Hi JBL how are Larry and Lolita?

JustaBoobyLover: Larry's ok Lolita's a little sore

TripleHugeAssNose: DO NOT WANT TO KNOW

TripleHugeAssNose: JBL who in their right mind names their man boobs? In fact who in their right mine allows themselves to get man boobs in the first place?

JustaBoobyLover: Whatever made you think I was in my right mind?

TripleHugeAssNose: That's right what was I thinking? It's the Raw roster of course no one is in their right mind!

Jerichomie: Hey guys do you know I've been typing this whole time with my penis?

TripleHugeAssNose: Case in point

HBKitten: Ew remind me never to ask you to borrow your lap top

JustaBoobyLover: Gives a new meaning to 'hunt and peck' hahahaha

JustaBoobyLover: Ooh Larry and Lolita are bouncing they think I'm humorous

HBKitten: JBL you're the most perverted person I know

Jerichomie: Ow that hurt!

HBKitten: What happened?

Jerichomie: I got my foreskin caught between Enter and Shift

HBKitten: Let me correct myself…JBL you are the second most perverted person I know

TripleHugeAssNose: That's your problem Chris. You have to shift before you enter…lmao!

JustaBoobyLover: Oh man Larry and Lolita are starting to hurt stop making me laugh!

HBKitten has logged out

TripleHugeAssNose: I hate to ask this but I am oh so curious…if you named your man boobs Larry and Lolita what did you name…y'know

JustaBoobyLover: Oh its name is Linda

Jerichomie: Mine is Big Daddy J

TripleHugeAssNose: lmao

TripleHugeAssNose: JBL you have a thing with L names?

Jerichomie: Oh like Superman! Haven't you ever noticed everyone is like an L name Lex Luthor, Lois Lane, Lara, and if you watch Smallville you have even more like Lana Lang, Lionel Luthor…see?

JustaBoobyLover: L names are very sexy

TripleHugeAssNose: Why is Lois such a popular name with entertainment? Lois Lane form Superman, Lois Griffin from Family Guy, Lois the mom from Malcolm in The Middle, Lois from the comic strip Hi and Lois…is Lois just like a good mom name or something? And just wondering who names their son Hi? Is it short for something or did the baby pop out and the mother just said, Oh Hi!

Jerichomie: Lois Lane isn't a mom

JustaBoobyLover: He has a point

JustaBoobyLover: But what I want to know is how does Lois Lane not know the difference between Superman and Clark Kent? Come on do the glasses really hide that much?

TripleHugeAssNose: Maybe Lois is too busy looking at Superman's package to notice his face so she never gets it. Or maybe she has the IQ of a slug.

JustaBoobyLover: True I would look at Supermans package

Jerichomie: Hey you know what? Why isn't Superman all hairy?

JustaBoobyLover: Um what?

Jerichomie: Because he's the man of steel nothing can hurt him or anything right? Well what about his hair? If someone tried to cut his hair wouldn't the scissors break? If he tried to shave wouldn't the razor go dull after the first swipe? If you use logic Superman should be a flying alien with hippy hair and a ZZ Top-esque beard

TripleHugeAssNose: Lmao!

JustaBoobyLover: But see they don't use logic for these things

Jerichomie: Well I always use logic!

TripleHugeAssNose: Says the man who gets his foreskin pinched between Enter and Shift

JustaBoobyLover: Oh make it stop! Make the laughter stop! Larry and Lolita hurt so bad!

_My stomach hurts! I don't know if it's form laughing or from JBL's man boobs, lol. Hope it made you lol a little :D Reviews please and thanks! _


	32. Chapter 32

_**Wow, sorry I have not done a thing with this for ages. I could not get into 'funny' mode. I'm still not sure I'm there, but you guys can let me know. Let me thank all of you reviewed the last chapter ten years ago, lol: Chain-Gang-Princess-2009, SkyeEyes16, iNdy MiLk, triple S, JennaLSmith, BellaHickenbottom, takers dark lover, Cenalova-54-8284, HBKShawnMichaelsDX, DX-Dynamite, Dark Kaneanite, Esha Napoleon, and .X**_

_WWE Silly Style_

_Chapter 32: Mark-Stewie, Randy's Five_

"Mark, you do not have split personalities." Glen rubbed at his temples. His last nerve was ready to snap. Since Mark had been home from the hospital he had been running around being everyone but Mark Calaway. At first it had been interesting waking up to some new and random person every day but eventually it got to be the biggest pain in the ass. It also didn't make for very good wrestling matches when Mark stood in the middle of the ring singing "I love you, you love me, we're a happy fam-i-ly with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you…" That's when Kane had choke-slammed Mark, aka Barney the Purple-fucking-Dinosaur. Glen had felt it best to put everyone out of the misery of another verse of the song.

"Gah! Kill the bald man!" Mark shouted in a hyper, accented voice. Glen slapped himself in the forehead. Today Mark thought he was Stewie Griffin, the annoying little brat from Family Guy. He was even wearing a yellow shirt and red overalls.

"This has to stop!" Glen barked watching Mark as he sat on his bed, a teddy bear under one arm, an evil smirk on his face as he scribbled into a notebook.

"Yes, yes this does have to stop."

"Well, at least we agree on something." Glen grumbled.

"Dammit your insistent, insane, idiotic, rambling has to stop! I will stop it, I will." Mark-Stewie smirked. "Vile bitch."

"Why couldn't you think you were Lois?" Glen spat. "At least she's hot!"

"Gah!" Mark-Stewie shouted and pulled at his hair, a tic started at his eye.

The two sat in silence a few moments. Glen looked at his watch, in an hour or so they'd have to leave the hotel room and he didn't want to be seen walking out with Mark-Stewie. It was just too weird, red overalls did nothing at all for the Deadman. But who could really pull off that look. Jericho maybe?

"Mark, come on we have to leave soon. Get your stuff packed up so we're ready." Glen rolled his eyes when Mark didn't respond at all. He just kept scribbling with crayon in the notebook that was sprawled on his lap. "What are you doing anyway?"

"The question is, what are you doing bald-man? Or maybe, maybe I should ask 'who' you are doing, you little whore."

"I'm trying to keep my sanity." Glen bit off.

"Oh, I say!" Mark-Stewie pointed a finger. "There it goes, sulking off like a wounded dog. You know where wounded dogs go don't you? They go to find a nice dark place to DIE!"

"I'll show you a nice dark place where you can die." Glen growled. He cocked an eyebrow at Mark-Stewie who was back with his nose in that notebook.

"What's in that stupid notebook? What are you doing with it? I have a right to know!"

"I'm plotting, bald-man." Mark-Stewie declared. "I'm plotting on the perfect way to kill you. Then, I'm plotting to dominate the world. Ah, yes I can see it now!" Mark –Stewie smirked and rubbed his hands together happily imagining the world bowing to his feet. "I'll declare death to all red-headed women, and all bald men. Then I'll make it illegal to be heterosexual! I say, the world will be one bloody-big sausage fest!"

Mark's eyes drifted off, imagining for a few moments, then he went back to scrawling furiously.

"Maybe you should plot how to change your diaper first. Ya kill of your mother what are you gonna do?" Glen's lips quivered with a wanting smile, he was somewhere between amused and aggravated, and trying not think it was funny. It wasn't funny, his best friend thought he was a cartoon demon-child.

"When I rule the world, Simon Cowell will change my diaper, and he'll looove it."

"You are insane." Glen raised an eyebrow.

"No, I prefer the term 'visionary'." Mark-Stewie finger-quoted.

Glen decided to leave Mark-Stewie on his own for a while. He was getting a full blown migraine and hoped that sitting downstairs in the lobby would ease it up a bit. Glen crossed the room, his shoes padding on the carpet, and found the most luscious looking chair there. He lowered himself into with a sigh. He leaned back against the cushy back and closed his eyes, letting the relaxation take over. That was until the elevator clanged and voices disrupted his millisecond of peace.

"Why am I not in your five!" Ted shouted as he followed Randy out of the elevator. He had discovered that he was not in Randy's T-Moble 'Five' where he could get free calls to the five people of his choosing.

"Teddy, I don't wanna hear it!" Randy bellowed shoving the irate young man away from him.

"But why! Why am I not good enough for you Randall! You have Cody in your five, no surprise there. Cody's your little pet isn't he? Well what am I? What we did didn't mean anything to you?"

"Teddy, I don't want you to go blabbing to everyone about our private doings!" Randy stormed across the lobby, Ted on his heels still whining.

"So you're ashamed that we went miniature golfing!" Teddy shrieked.

"Ted!"

"I see. It doesn't matter how many hole-in-one's I score, you're still too ashamed of me to add me in your five. But yet you can have Manu—Afa—still in your five! He's not even here now! Do you even talk to him anymore?" Ted almost ran into Randy when he stopped suddenly. Randy turned on his heel and growled, baring his teeth like an angered wolf.

"Yes I do still talk to him. Manu and I were very close despite the storylines. I even let him put oil on me once." Randy smirked, and Ted's eyes glinted with hurt.

"You…you never let anyone but Cody oil you up." Ted poked out his lip in a pout that might have been cute, had Cody been the one behind the pout.

"I do occasionally. I let Manu do it a few times. I was even going to let Punk do it once but he refused, idiot. Apparently, straight-edged people don't use oil."

"I can't believe you!" Ted nearly cried. "You're a whore!"

"Ted…" Randy rolled his eyes and turned to leave.

"No Randy, do not walk away from me! Who else is in your five, I wanna know!" Ted grabbed Randy's waist and the two started to struggle. Ted's hands snaked in and out of Randy's pockets before wrapping around something small and hard.

"Ted what the--"

"Oh, sorry Randy." Ted blushed releasing his grip. "I um…thought it was your cell phone."

"Get your hands out of my pockets!" Randy fought Ted off, but Ted was victorious, this time grabbing the right device and pulling it out and up over his head where Randy couldn't reach it.

"Now, time to see who else you have in your five, where I should be!" Ted climbed onto the couch when Randy started to hop up and down and came dangerously close to reaching the phone and stealing it back.

"It's none of your business!" Randy shouted grabbing a pillow and winging it at Ted.

"Cody Runnels." Ted said, finding the first name in Randy's five. "We all knew he was there, now who else." He scrolled finding the next. He raised an eyebrow at Randy who climbed onto the couch, if the Legend Killer hadn't lost his balance he would have tackled Ted. Instead he fell backwards onto Glen's lap. With a grunt and a few curses Glen dumped Randy onto his rear. "You have Rachel Ray in your five?"

"I do." Randy barked. "You gotta problem with it?"

Ted hopped from the couch to the coffee table when Randy tried to leap at him again. Ted nearly slipped on an old issue of Cosmo but luckily he balanced better than Randy.

"Michael--" Ted burst out laughing before he could finish the name.

"Give me my mother fu--"

"Michael Jackson!" Ted wailed with giddy tears sliding down his face. "Michael Jackson is in you five? Oh please, help me!" Ted collapsed onto the floor rolling around. Now even Glen couldn't be angry. What was wrong with Randy? For that matter, what was wrong with the whole damn company?

"No one can top Whacko Jacko." Ted said as he pushed the tiny buttons continuing through the names in Randy's five. Afa was next, now there was only one name left.

"Ted, please." Randy whined.

"Why, why should I? What have you ever done for me?"

"There was the time you got locked out of your room naked an I--"

"You stood in the hall and sang 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Weiner'. Yeah…that helped how?"

Randy shrugged.

"Now, to see who this last person is in your five."

"Goldust?" Ted grinned widely as Randy snatched the phone away.

"This is so good." Ted sneered. "I'm telling Cody you have Goldust in your five. You might as well be letting him do you with oil!" Ted shouted before running off cackling madly.

"I don't let people do me with oil, I like it harsh and unprepared!" Randy yelled after. "Oh, oh no I just said that didn't I?"

"No you didn't say it Randy." Glen laughed. "You yelled it to the whole world like a virgin screaming in the throes of the first fuck."

"I'm so screwed. I have to delete Goldust from my five." Randy fumbled with his phone anxiously, he couldn't let Cody find out. "Who should I replace him with?" Randy cast a frantic look towards Glen. "Glen! Lemme put you in!"

"You ain't putting me in anything!" Glen retorted, back to rubbing at his aching head. "I better get out of here before all hell breaks lose." Glen mumbled when he saw Cody storming towards Randy. "Besides, I better make sure Mark hasn't taken over the world yet."

Glen let himself into the room he was sharing with Mark and his jaw dropped when Mark was no where to be seen. Across the room on the dresser he noticed a piece of paper. He crossed the room and picked it up and read the words that were chicken-scratched in purple crayon.

_Dear stupid bald-man,_

_I've gone to live with the children on jolly farm. Good bye forever. Stewie.  
P.S. I never got a chance to return that sweater Lois gave me for Christmas. Umm, I left the receipt on top of my bureau. I'm probably over the thirty day return limit but umm… I'm sure if you make a fuss they'll at least give you a store credit or something. Umm.. It's actually not a horrible sweater. It's... It's just I can't imagine when I would ever wear it you know? Oh I also left a button on the bureau. I'm not sure what it goes to, but I can never bring myself to throw a button away. I know that as soon as I do I'll find the garment it goes to and then it'll… Wait a minute, could it be from the sweater? Did that sweater have buttons? Hmm… Well I should wrap this up before I start to ramble. Again, goodbye forever.  
P.P.S. You know, it might be a little chilly in London, I'm actually going to take the sweater._

_--Stewie_

"Why didn't we stop having kids after Meg?" Glen wondered sinking onto the bed. "Actually, why didn't we stop after Chris? Oh hell, why didn't we just get sterilized?"

Glen startled when there was a knock on the door. He ran to the door hoping it was Mark. What he found was Chris Jericho wearing footy pajamas.

"What the hell?"

"Stewie gave me his jammies before he left." Jericho spun around so Glen could see.

"He's not Stewie he's…oh hell…who cares. You look cute."

"Me?" Jericho asked feigning innocence.

"Come in here, I need to forget about Mark." Before Jericho could protest Glen dragged him into the room, slamming the door, and working on getting him out of the pink footy pj's. Mark-Stewie could wait, after all, what harm could he really be doing?

Meanwhile

"Hello Lois."

Lois pulled the covers tight around her body when she saw a huge, scary looking man in a diaper enter her bedroom through the window.

"Ahk! I told Stewie not to invite his wittle friends over on sex night!"

"Hey baby, ready to get it--" Peter stopped in the doorway, naked and eyes wide. "Wow Lois, Stewie has facial hair!"

Mark turned to the voice and saw Peter naked.

"What the deuce?" Mark-Stewie screamed. "The fat-man has blinded me, gah!"

_**This was…I don't know really random. I'm not feeling so confident in my humor lately. Jericho muse has me neck deep in angst. Please let me know honestly if you love it or hate it. If it was really unfunny, tell me and I'll stop, lol. **_


	33. Chapter 33

_**Thanks for reviews on the last chapter: SkyeEyes16, DX-Dynamite, Chain-Gang-Princess-2009, takers dark lover, BellaHickenbottom, xox-BuBbLeZ-xox, Esha Napoleon, and Dark Kaneanite. :)**_

_WWE Silly Style_

_Chapter 33: Pimp My Legacy, Swine Flu, Jericho Haz Gun_

Jericho stormed across the hotel lobby and fell back onto the couch, a scowl marring his face, arms crossed over his chest.

"What's wrong with you?" Hunter dared to ask, raising an eyebrow at the angry Canadian.

"I went to a gun store today, to buy a gun, for purposes I can not divulge." Jericho shifted his eyes around the room and lowered his voice. "Don't try to make me divulge anything. I won't." He looked seriously at HHH. "Anyway, the owner wouldn't sell me a gun. ME!" Jericho huffed, obviously offended.

"Ah, well then I can see why you're--"

"Hunter do I look like a hooligan? Do I act deranged? If I had a gun would I be endangering anyone?" Jericho went on, raving.

"Well…um…"

"Roddy freaking Piper has a gun, do I get a gun? Of course not! I say that's discrimination! Hypocrites, who are they to discriminate against me? If old people can have guns then I can too!"

"Rowdy has a gun?" Hunter cringed back in his seat at the thought of that.

"Yeah, he does. I know because I saw him shoot it once."

Hunter's eyes grew wide as plates.

"What did he shoot!"

"A crocodile."

"Why?"

"He wanted to make boots." Jericho rolled his eyes as though Hunter was dense for not knowing that. Seriously, why else would Piper shoot a crocodile?

"He tried to shoot Andre too, but the bullet just pancaked against his chest and bounced off. It was awesome! But anyway, I should have a gun." Jericho concluded.

"Sledge hammers are better. They're more physical." Hunter grinned crookedly.

"More physical? Hm, I see what you mean…but guns are loud and smell like gun smoke. Sledge hammers don't smell like anything cool nor are they loud."

"Sledge hammers can elicit loud noises if used properly." Hunter's eyes drifted into a slightly glazed state. "Oh yeah, me and Sledgey get really physical."

"I…I really don't think I want to know about this!" Jericho started to get up and leave, his rant temporarily forgotten.

"Hey, you just wait a gahdurn minute Jericho."

"Layfield." Jericho scoffed when the Texan laid a hand on Chris' shoulder, pushing him back to the couch. "Get out of my way."

"No can do." JBL crossed his arms over his chest and glared down at the Canadian. "I hear tell it was you who stole my cheesecake."

"Go buy another one." Jericho barked, trying again to get around John, and landing back on his ass. "Or better yet, try some raw veggies. You're looking a little pudgy." Chris smirked and poked at JBL's middle. His finger was promptly grabbed and twisted until he was in a very embarrassing position, on his knees in front of JBL, shrieking.

"What did y'say Jericho?"

"Nothingowowowow!" He whined as JBL bent the finger further.

"Say I look amazing!" John growled.

"You look ow-ow-mazing!" Tears sprang to Jericho's eyes as the finger crackled.

"Say I'm a wrestling god."

"I'm a fucking wrestling god!" Jericho screamed.

"Not you, me dumbass!"

"JOHN BRADSHAW LAYFIELD IS _THE_ WRESTLING GOD!" Jericho shouted, all the while Hunter was laughing. He stopped laughing when John twisted one last time, then let go. Chris gingerly drew his hand away, he paled when he saw the unnatural angle his finger was bent at. His blue eyes rolled back.

"Chris, are you okay!" Hunter asked too late, Jericho flopped over in a dead faint. JBL burst out laughing.

"Teach any a'you to touch my deserts!" With that the Texan sauntered away, stopping for a moment to grab a donut from the breakfast bar.

Morrison banged on the door to the bathroom again.

"Miz hurry up! I have to rinse this leave-in conditioner out of my hair!"

The door opened, finally, and John pushed past Miz and slipped out of his jeans and underwear and stepped into the shower.

"Hey John, wait I have to ask you something!" Miz threw back the shower curtain.

"Michael I'm naked!" John covered his chest in mock modesty. "You'll see my boobies!"

"I don't care! Listen to me for a minute!" Miz whined. John pushed him away and grabbed the curtain away and closed it.

"Why would I want to listen to you drone on about nothing?"

"John!"

Miz stamped is foot in aggravation when he heard the shower come to life. John started to sing 'Barbie Girl' as loud and off key as possible.

"If you don't listen to me I'm coming in there after you!"

"I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie wor--"

John stopped when the water suddenly went ice-cold. He hoped back and slipped on a blob of conditioner that was in the tub. Falling back, he hit his head and cursed.

"You idiot!" John fought with the shower curtain and finally stumbled out. He grabbed a towel and covered his waist with it. "If you ever do that again I'll--" John advanced on the Miz, backing him into a corner, but he stopped yelling when Miz started to whimper.

"Mor, don't yell at me! I think I'm sick."

John rolled his eyes and pushed past Miz, wringing his hair out as he left the bathroom. Miz followed on his heels.

"Well do I look sick? Does my head feel hot? Am I pale? Is my throat red? Are my gums bleeding?"

"Miz you are a hypochondriac."

"What does that mean?"

"It means…" John stopped bent over his suitcase and sighed. He didn't answer Miz, he just got dressed and tossed his towel to the side. "Come here and let me see."

Miz walked over to John and let his partner inspect him for any sign of illness. After a few minutes of checking Miz over, John regarded him seriously.

"Mike have you had vomiting, diarrhea, myalgia, headache, chills, fatigue, dyspnea or conjunctivitis?"

"Oh my God, yes! I'm gonna die!" Miz freaked out, and ran around the room yelling over and over again that he was going to die.

"Miz, you're not going to die!"

"I am! I can feel it! I should make a will...who should I leave my fedora to?" Miz grabbed a notebook and started to scribble in it. "What about my hobo scarves? What about my Furby or my stash of junk food? What about my Playgirls? I have the one with Shawn in it."

"You're not gonna die, gimme that." Morrison pried the pen and notebook away from Miz.

"You can't let a dying man make his will!" Miz huffed. "What kind of person are you!"

"You're not going to die. You have swine flu okay!" John knew he shouldn't play with Miz this way, but it was just too funny.

Miz went silent and sat down on the bed thinking about it for a few moments.

"But I'm still gunna die!" He cried.

"You're not Miz, you're going to turn into a swine that's all." John chewed the insides of his cheeks to keep himself from laughing at the devastated look on Miz's face as the news sunk in.

"That's gonna suck really bad." Miz whined. "Pigs aren't allowed in the Palace of Wisdom, I don't think they're allowed to wrestle either."

Morrison shrugged.

"JBL does."

Meanwhile, as Miz was contemplating how he would look as a hog, in the next room Shawn and Cody were watching COPS and having deep conversations.

"You know Cody, I've always wondered what I would do after wrestling." Shawn sprawled back on the bed and watched the chase on t.v.

"If this doesn't work out I'm going to be a whore." Cody said matter-of-factly. "I'm getting a lot of good practice anyway."

"Huh?" Shawn sat up on his elbows and watched the young man curiously.

"Shawn you seriously don't know? I'm like the locker room slut." Cody grinned proudly. "Ted's so jealous."

"Wow, I didn't know." Shawn mused for a few moments, then frowned. "Well what's that doing for my reputation? Since we're sharing a room all the guys are going to think we…"

Cody shrugged.

"Wanna?" He was quickly in Shawn's lap, holding onto his shoulders and bouncing up and down eagerly, like a hyperactive puppy. Shawn was a little scared, and nudged the boy back gently.

"Um…I'd feel like a sex offender."

"Hey, I'm over 18!" Cody whined, crossing his arms and poking his lip out in a pout.

"Barely." Shawn coughed.

"But everyone expects it! I'll ruin my reputation if I don't sleep with you."

"So, lie about it. I mean erm…"

"No, they'd know." Cody sighed. "See I won't have the Cody-sex-glow and they'll KNOW! Shawn don't ruin me!" Cody pleaded grabbing Shawn's shoulders again and shaking him fiercely.

"I wouldn't care what the other guys think. It seems like they're ripping you off anyway."

"How's that? I have lots of sex how is that a rip off? I have more sex than Bill Clinton at an intern convention!"

"Well, you said if wrestling didn't work out you were going to be a whore. Whores get paid." Shawn pointed out. "Right now you're just a free whore, why wait until you fail at wrestling to get paid for it? I mean…um…"

Cody seemed to miss the part about him failing at wrestling and instead thought over the part about being a real, actual, paid whore.

"But I don't know wouldn't I have to have a pimp?" Cody thought some more, then his gaze fell on Shawn, and Shawn didn't like the sparkle in his eye. "Shawn!" Cody jumped on him again, once again placing himself in Shawn's lap, which was starting to bother the older man a little. A soft blush crept up Shawn's neck. "You can be my pimp!" Cody cheered.

"Me? I don't know anything about being a pimp!"

"It's easy, you just wear flashy clothes and a lot of bling and sell me to people!"

"I dunno." Shawn pondered. It was kind of a nice thought. "What will Randy think?"

"Oh, we can give him a discount."

_Later that evening_

"Hey Chris." Hunter found Jericho up in his room moping and making a scene over his broken finger. "I know…" H sighed as Jericho continued to rant. "That's why I came up here. I felt really bad about laughing when Jibble was bending your finger. I should have helped you out."

"Yeah, you should have helped me you lard-nosed assclown." Jericho glared.

"Well, I brought you something that might make it up. Sorry Chrissy."

Hunter sat a box in Chris' lap and the blond quickly opened it.

"It's…it's!" Chris shrieked. "A GUN!"

"Just be careful with it. You might shoot your eye out." Hunter warned. "It even came with extra paint balls."

"Yesyesyes I haz gun!" Jericho danced around the room in celebration. "Can't wait to try it out! Who will be my first victim, hm." Chris's grin widened insanely and he turned on Hunter. "Die villain!"

"Ow you dumbass!" Hunter shouted as a few paintballs splatted on his shirt and jeans. He lunged after Jericho, but the gun wielding psycho fled the scene, yelling as he ran down the hallway.

"Oh no, what have I done!" Hunter hung his head. He'd never live down this mistake.

Jericho flew down the stairs and stopped in the lobby panting. A few people were down there but a lot of the guys were out. Miz was sitting on the sofa naked and covered in mud. That was enough to derail Jericho, momentarily he forgot about searching for a victim, and went to see what was going on.

"Hey Mike. You're naked."

"Pigs don't wear clothes." Miz replied sadly.

"Oh. That makes perfect sense."

"Get back Chris. I might be contagious." Miz waved Chris away and sniffled dramatically.

"Contagious huh, well that's why you use condoms my friend." Jericho dug around in his back pocket and tossed a little foil packet at the Miz.

"I can't." Miz replied with a snort. "Pigs don't wear condoms."

_**Thanks for reading and laughing at the stupidity of my musi! Review please! This is basically how they've been acting lately, lol. I finally learned who gave Jeri that gun though…and the idiot who did is going to die a slow and painful death. LOL Next chapter, more of the same. Does Mizzy turn into a swine? Does Jericho shoot his eye out? What did JBL do with that donut? How much to buy Cody Rhodes? I dunno on that last one, I'll have to ask Shawn, in case anyone is interested. ;)**_


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